Debbie R.

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I know.... everyone overweight makes a New Years Resolution to loose weight.... I really really want this.  5 Day Pouch Reset starts in AM.  I am nervous, but super psyched to feel like I'm trying to regain control of my appetite, mindless eating, and weight.  Happy New Years everyone!!

Wow. It's been a long time since I was on here.  It's been a long time since I felt I NEEDED to be on here.  My story... I lost near 100 pounds 5 years ago after a Roux En Y Gastric Bypass.  I had a baby less than 2 years out from surgery, but easily rebounded back to my pre-baby weight.  I had maintained that loss for a long while, until I got pregnant at year 4 and then gained 52 pounds. I had a beautiful 9 pound big baby boy by c-section.  That beautiful boy just turned a year old last weekend and I am still in the same 180's weight range I was when I delivered him.  It's a horrible feeling to be uncomfortable in your own skin.  To a point you hate when people look at you, for fear of what body part they are judging.  I was a size 5/7 even at 8 weeks pregnant and SOOOO Confident. I was in a bikini in Hawaii at 8 weeks pregnant living life to the fullest.  Now, I am in hiding.  Like a Recluse in my size 15/16 jeans.  I went through a really bad period of acceptance over the last year as I've been struggling... I obviously had to buy bigger clothes, which was humiliating for me. I didn't want to accept failure... I went as far as to refuse to put my "New Big Clothes" Away. I had 4 laundry baskets full of clean clothes scattered around my room. I didn't want them in my closet with all my success clothes.  Didn't want to admit failure.  I had a realization last week.  I spent an entire day cleaning my room and folding and sorting all those clothes into sizes.  I put them in reverse size order from biggest on top, to smallest on bottom and finally out them into my closet.  It felt good to see my floor in my room again....  I've been tossing in my head how I can retake control of my life to get back to the self I was and want to be again.  I consulted a personal life trainer / coach last night and ordered a workout program from Beachbody called T25.  My biggest excuse for not working out was "I don't have time". I'm a busy mom of 3.  I work 55 plus hours a week and just feel BUSY.  I know, we all feel this way...  But who doesn't have 25 minutes a day??  Also, from pinterest I found this cute idea to write down a few exercises on popsicle sticks and place them in a cup, with an empty cup next to it.  Nothing major... Examples like 20 lunges, 20 squats, etc.  Something that literally would take you a minute or two to do.  When I finish a task, or after doing computer work, on the way back from the bathroom, I take a stick out and do the exercise and continue on my way to my next task.  Hey, it's activity which counts.  I now need to refocus on my eating habits... HORRIBLE. Can you say addictions!!!  Hi, My name is Debbie and I am addicted to Mountain Dew and String cheese.... OMG.  I GOTTA STOP!!!!  I thought about doing the 5 days pouch test, but really what will that accomplish?  I know my pouch is still there and works.  I thought about following the immediate post-op diet of liquids to soft proteins, to fuller proteins to cut out the carbs we are addicted to.  I have looked at fad diets as well. Still not sure what path to take, but I know something has to change.  I need to regain control so I can like myself again!!!

Wow.  I can't believe it's been almost a year since I've been on here.  Honestly not a whole lot has happened in that year.  Well one really important thing...  I had a beautiful 7 lb 3.3 oz Baby girl on July 20th by c-section - Avery Evangeline.  Now I have 2 beautiful little girls who are the loves of my life. 

I am almost back down to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I gained 32 pounds while pregnant.  My surgeon was soooo not happy about that.  Unrealistically he told me not to gain anything (he was joking), my OB said 15 pounds and my Internal Medicine doctor said to screw them both and that I was a NORMAL WEIGHT female and could gain my 25 to 35 pounds.  So I did!  Part of it was guilt, feeling like I wasn't giving the baby enough, so I would force myself to eat more often.  I am almost back down to my surgeons goal (2 more pounds), and my personal goal (7 more pounds).  I'm sure it would go down faster if I was working out, but I am totally exhausted being up with a baby all night and working all day, that I just don't have the energy right now.  It will come back as she starts sleeping better as she ages.

My relationship with my husband seems to have improved since we found out we were pregnant and even better since Avery was born.  Not that we were trying when it happened, but we had tried for so long before the surgery that it was a source of conflict (I have a one track mind).  Our relationship became stressed.  All our intereactions had become scheduled based on my cycle.  Of course we still have our little bickering fights, but who doesn't, but we don't go to bed angry and the D word which was a constant in our house a year and a half ago is not uttered anymore. 

The pregnancy, which I had high anxiety over, was rather uncomplicated until the 29th week.  I had the normal little bits of morning sickness.  Nothing like my first pregnancy though.  But at 29 weeks I delievered a sharp shooting pain in my upper abdomen while working one morning.  It was extremely scary.  It was so painful I was doubled over in pain.  I thought I was loosing the baby.  It started in waves for a few hours like a contraction, then was constant.  They put the baby on the monitor and she looked fine and I was not in labor.  I was admitted to the hospital and had an ultrasound.  They thought my placenta was tearing away from the uterus and that they would have to deliver the baby.  The Ultrasound was inconclusive.   As they were trying to figure out what was wrong with me, then I started having contractions.  They decided first and foremost to try and stop the contractions with Magnesium Sulfate.  As they started the drug which is a rapid infusion, I started having difficulty breathing and my blood pressure dropped.  Soon, my best friend is in tears as they push her out of the way and call a code cause I'm no longer breathing, but totally aware of what is going on.  4 doctors and 5 nurses working on me and I start breathing again.  Through all of this, the pain in my abdomen subided, yet the contractions continued.  The internist sent me for a Abdomen and chest CT Scan thinking that the IV infusion caused a clot in my lungs which made me stop breathing.  Turns out my lungs were fine, I had a spontaneous resolved bowel intusseception which is what the abdominal pain was and I stopped breathing as a reaction to the magnesium.  Now the 2 evils here are risk it happening again and keep me on the magnesium to get the contractions stopped, or fly me out to a bigger hopital with a NICU and deliver the baby.  They decided to try the magnesium again at a slower infusion rate.  Needless to say, I was in the hospital for 2 days, the contractions finally subsided and I was out on strict bedrest.  The said the pain in my abdomen was intense enough that is what caused me to go into preterm labor.  But we kept her in there for another 10 weeks and she was delivered by c-section at 39 weeks. 

Besides that, It was a good pregnancy.  She is not a sleeper (Gosh I wish she was).  I've had some issues with migraines and muscle/joint pains due to a thyroid issues (previously underactive) currently wayyyy overactive.  I have some issues dealing with my anxiety of not getting the baby enough of what she needs by breastfeeding.  he is supplemented with 2 bottles of formula a day because of the very low fat content in my milk.  I freak out over little things (like her losing some hair).  I know it's normal, but the guilt of my nutritional givings no being good enough from the bypass makes me blame myself.  She has a little benign tumor of the blood vessels called a Hemiangioma on her abdomen.  Nothing to freak out about, but I do at times.  The pediatrician said to plan for surgery to remove it after she turns one.  My surgeon who is a general surgeon says he thinks it will resolve spontaneously by 2 and he won't have to touch it.  I trust him. 

Other than that, I am doing great.  I'm loving life and happy with my progress and goals I've hit.  I think I have to come up with more goals!  I'll try to update more often and will definately post some new pictures soon!!

So I am 7 weeks pregnant!  YEAH!!  Not quite a year out from surgery, but we will work through this!  I'm still excited!

On November 18th I offcially hit (actually below) my surgeons goal and surpassed my personal goal by over 5 pounds.  My goal was 135.  My doctors goal was 130... and I hit 129.2 with a BMI of 21.2.  Total weight loss equaling 93.3 pounds!  Yeah.  I could handle loosing a few more to maybe 125 just to give me a rebound gin cushion of 5 to 10 pounds, but hopefully that doesn't happen.  If it happens, it hapens (the extra loss.... not the gain). 

 Next comes baby (Hopefully) and after that I want a tummy tuck to rid the skin and a breast lift for my benefit....  Better start saving up!

Seems like forever since I've been on here.  I'm finally out living life!  Well lets see.  I'm down 86 pounds with only 6.6 pounds left until I hit my goal.  The last 3 months have been painfully slow in the weight loss department.  I am extremely happy where I am at in terms of weight loss, but don't want to settle as I am only 8 months out.  I get a lot of flack from people saying I don't need to or shouldn't lose anymore weight.  My personal goal was 135 - I'm at 136.6.  My doctor wanted me to shoot for 130 eben though my BMI is way in the healthy range (22.7!)  Yeah!  I promise I will try to be better at updating!

Drain is out!  I was so worried about it - and all for nothing.  It was exactly as my doctor described it - a queasy feeling - like a snake slithering around inside - but not painful and over in about 3 seconds.  I got to take a picture with my surgery coordinators and my surgeon today.  Tomorrow I will have a week picture taken - not expecting a huge difference but down 10 pounds in a week.  My mom says I look thinner and it shows in my face.  We'll see - the picture will show it. 

Having issues with my bowels - don't know if a noisy colon is normal a week out or since I had my first full liquids today and had milk am having a reaction to lactose.  I'm going to do clear liquids again tomorrow to fins out.  If so, guess I am going to Soy Milk.

Not much has hurt so far I think that's why I m putting so much on this drain removal.  It comes out it 5 hours and I'm fearing the worst even though EVERYONE has told me it doesn't hurt....  Pray that I truly doesn't!!! 

I know we lose weight quickly the first few days, weeks, months, and I know scales vary, having clothes on make a difference and body fluid adjusts throughout the day, but I was 213 yesterday at the hospital with clothes on, still had IV fluids being pumpsed in.  Today I am 204.3!  Granted the IV fluids are being peed out, I had no clothes on and it's a deifferent scale.  I am just so excited to be close to onderland!  My dream will come true.  I feel great.  I'm getting in almost 100 ounces of water in a  day - almost have 42 grams of protein in today so far.  I'll I need is some energy - I am still exhausted and odten find myslef falling asleep in the middle of a conversation.  Anyways - I'm doing fantastic.  My drain comes out Monday and it is putting out very little - only about 20 mL every 8 hours.  I think while I feel alive I will go try the treadmill for a few minutes!

1 day 14 hours and a few minutes.. I am so excited.  It's odd how I feel not nervous at all - completely at peace.  I have a whole bunch of ideas as to what I am going to do on Tuesday - I have a unique situation as my friends / coworlers will be operating on me.  I hand picked my surgical crew.  I have a few tricks up my sleeves - and will tell you all about what I did depending how I feel later Tuesday.  Wish me luck and pray for the best!!!  I know it will go great!