Wow. I didn't even realize how long it's been since I visited.

Oct 01, 2012

 It's kind of funny in a sad way how I take for granted the tools/steps/people that helped me get where I am and was since 2008. At my lowest weight, I thought I was invincible. I felt free, powerful yet light as a feather. I could slip in a size 6 or 8 or 10 and still had a little wiggle room. I could almost fit my grand daughters tee shirts.

Arrogant! I forgot the work. I forgot the steps. I forgot I was fat. Not only on the outside, on the inside. In my head. I am not like everyone else. I can't eat what I want and sit there. My body takes work and effort. No easy life for me. My metabolism doesn't work like that. If I stay still for too long here it comes. Like a shotgun blast to the face. But it lands on my stomach and hips and thighs.

Those cute little bra and panties, NOPE! Those tiny little jeans I bought last year, NOPE! My closet is filled with clothes that fit like they belong to someone else. Someone slim and pretty and fashionable. These are mine.

I look in the mirror and I am horrified by this bloated giggly mess. What happened? Who is this fat ass woman in the mirror. This is me.....

It's time to go back to the beginning of the first journey here however I don't know the way back. I need help. God help me!

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