Random venting....

Feb 04, 2013

Well after last nights class i have one class remaining.  I enjoyed last nights class tho.  We went over portion control.  It makes me feel good knowing that i have been doing good on that venue.  I switched to a 5 inch plate that i only fill the inner circle with food, i never heap or go to the edges of the plate.  My bowl is a tiny little bowl and i reserve that for cereal, or soups.  Now the hard part with that is keeping my kids away from my cute dishes.  Everyone is being very supportive, and i also decided that yesterday was a good time if any to tell my immediate family about the surgery.  I love my family and i realize i need their support.  Not with physical but just emotional.  I know i have a long road ahead of me, and knowing that they are there for me is such a great relief.  

The only person who seems to be having a hard time with this is my youngest daughter.  She is 9 and very smart, sometimes too smart.  Her dad and I are divorced now since 2009, we separated in 2008.  she has had a hard time with the divorce in part because she was so young and didn't see, (not that i would ever let my children see the mental anguish i was put thru) the unloving nature that my oldest daughter saw, My oldest was happy with the divorce, in a sense that she had two parents she loves, but they just can't stand each other, and now she has more time with each of us.  Jo on the other hand wishes we would be together.  (our parenting schedule is i have them one week, and then their dad has them the next week).  I believe Jo's problem is that when she is at her dads, she spends most of her time with my ex mother in law.  (she is the epitome of classic evil MIL)  Since i explained to both my daughters what was going on this woman has it in her head that it is ok for my 9 year old to watch weight loss stories on Television, so of course, in order to have a tv show, they find the most complicated cases for rating. So in turn, this has freaked her out.  This is the part that pisses me off.  I explained to her that the people on these shows make up a small percentage of those who actually have successful surgeries.  For now she is satisfied, but now i know will only last for a short time until she comes back from her dads again.  I have talked to my ex about limiting the amount of time the girls are over there.  but he is stuck in his firefighter daydream so (this was a big part of why we divorce, 90% was his mother) he never makes time to be with the girls.  he has a normal job, but when he gets out, he goes straight to the fire hall.  He is volunteer so there is no reason for him to be there every day for hours on end.  I could really care less where he is, except our kids are hurting.  

Well anywho, i feel better for getting that off my chest.  I need to get back to work and get motivated again.  Later!

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