Almost 4 months out

Jul 12, 2010

Wow, this trip has been one heckofaride! I'm updating about 5 days prior to my 4th month out. Where to begin;
1. I'm down 73 lbs today. Who would've thought? I am faithful in the taking of my vits, occassionally I slip up on weekends. Actually not sure why I do that, since I am home and I should be able to stick to my vits more easily. Yet, it only happens rarely. So I won't beat myself up about it. I'm still feeling that this process is actually not as hard as I would of thought most days, and other days, when I eat too fast and it all revisits me, well, then I look at this process are being sooooooo hard! Go figure.
2. Everyone I run into, that I haven't seen since before my surgery tells me, wow, you look great! I say, more important than that is that I feel great, and I am no longer insulin & pill dependent! It is such a wonderful feeling.
3. Wow.....I can actually wear clothes that are so much smaller. Now, I'm not going into numbers, because I feel I'm still in large numbers, but, I attribute that to the fact that the girls (boobs) are still rather large! I've gone down from a 48DD to a 44D, so, it's changing and I am very happy about it, but, I feel they make me still look too big! That may take some time to feel otherwise.
4. Eating. Ahhhh, whatta difference in my life these days. I actually truly love the taste of food, obviously that's what got me into trouble in the past, but, more than that, NOWadays, I really taste the food and I enjoy the flavors.....not just the VOLUMES. That is key for me to realize. I am officially eating to live, not living to eat! It is AWESOME! Have to admit, I miss those large volume days, I have my times that it kinda hits me like; man, sure wish I could get down more and then reality sets in and I say to my inner self; SELF: Yep, wish I could, but, know I can't cause I don't want the Diabetes re-visiting my life! I need that reality check often, cause I love my life, and I am happy to be in this body that is ever changing, with the loose skin, off/on skin irritations, and sagging breasts - because I know those are things that I can still change too! What I now have is time. Time to enjoy being me. Time I wouldn't have had had I continued with weight gains and my Diabetes being out of control! I have a new lease on life, and I'm running with it! I have been walking every day. I don't measure it. But, I do enjoy it. I'm joining a Zumba class and I am so excited to get started on that - this week(Update; went to my first class-wow-was I in for it! Still enjoyed it though, but sooooo sore from that night and starting walking 2 miles on saturdays and sundays now-loving it!). Life is good. Thank you God, Thank you Dr. Zare, the two who have touched my life more than anyone ever has!
5. So far no big adverse things have happened to me since the surgery. I feel rather lucky when I read how some really terrible things can. I'm struggling these days with the speed of how I eat. I've found that old habits die hard. I've been eating really fast and of course suffering the consequences - it revisits me. Now, that in itself is the one thing I hate to do, retch. But, getting my chewing and swallowing under control of late, has escaped me. I'm really working on it. I'm hoping I can get it under control soon, cause I hate bringing up what I've just eaten! Now that I am more aware of what I'm doing, I've been paying close attention, along with hubby, and I try to pace my chewing and swallowing. Hubby will point it out that my food is leaving my plate too fast too, which helps. But, if he isn't around, which is all day, I can only rely on myself at meals. Wish me luck!

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