Stephanie Smiles

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Yup. It's done! I have FINALLY completed that elusive bachelor's degree. On Saturday, May 17th I graduated from Franklin Pierce University in Rindge, New Hampshire. It was a wonderful day of celebration. It is the culmination of a twenty year journey that could not have been completed without the support of family, friends, current and former colleagues, and numerous fellow students. Most of all, I am grateful to my amazing husband Pete. His encouragement and support was invaluable. He washed many loads of laundry, cooked, cleaned, and gave me the "did you finish your homework" look more times than can be counted. Hence the subject line: WE did it! It truly was a group effort.

Thank you!

Stephanie

Stats

Height: 5ft. 7 ½ in.

Starting Weight: 350 lbs.

Surgery Date Weight: 316 lbs.

Current Weight: 201 lbs.

WLS Weight Goal: 208 lbs. (70% of excess weight)    

Personal Weight Goal: 160 lbs.

Current Size: 16 Regular/ Size large tops

Personal Size Goal: 12 Regular

Current BMI: 31.5

Personal BMI Goal: Normal <24.9

Pounds lost since surgery: 115 lbs.

Total Pounds Lost: 149 lbs.

Total Inches Lost: 61.5

21 Months Post-op and 1 Month Plastics Post-op  

Well, I made it through round one of plastic surgery. On November 2, 2007 I had a breast reduction and brachioplasty (arm lift). Both procedures went well and I am increasingly pleased with my results as time passes. I chose to do these two procedures together and though the recovery was much more difficult than I anticipated, I still believe I made the correct choice. I had planned to have the abdomnioplasty in June, but have decided to wait until next November. I really enjoyed my summer in 2007 and I know that the recovery from abdominal surgery would pretty much wipe out summer 2008. I think my body needs more of a break between plastics. 

I was fortunate to have enough breast tissue to simply have a reduction and did not require implants. I’m happy that my breasts are now where they are supposed to be rather than hanging down by my waist! My clothes fit so much better now. I have always wanted to be able to wear a large in shirts and sweaters. Now I can! I’m happy with that result. Of course, it’s much easier to see all of the abdominal skin now that my boobs are out of the way. But that will disappear in time.  

My recovery was rough. I thought that I would rebound as quickly as I did from WLS. I didn’t. I took four weeks off from work and I needed all of that time. I still have some pain but it is very manageable. Mostly my arms ache occasionally. I still have swelling in each arm and my surgeon said it would be three more months before I will have an idea of what they will look like. I’m trying to be patient, but it’s difficult! When I look at my before and after pictures, I certainly don’t see perfection. But, I do see a huge improvement. I’ll never have a perfect body. But I can have a body that doesn’t have so much extra skin flopping around every time I move. A word of warning…when taking narcotics for pain, make sure you also take stool softeners to combat the constipation. I didn’t and ended up with a horrible case of hemorrhoids that I am still dealing with. It is so not fun!!!  

Emotionally, this surgery was harder than I anticipated as well. I’m not really sure why. It seems to be difficult to adjust to a different body. I vacillate between noticing the many imperfections in my breasts and arms and being really pleased. I’ve had several complete meltdowns in the last four weeks. Mostly stemming from frustration. Frustration at not being able to go, go, go like I usually do. Frustration stemming from the fact that I allowed myself to get so large that I had to resort to major surgery to get rid of skin. And, frustration that while I have lost a ton of weight, I am still obese. It’s been a tough road. I’m learning to deal with the old me in the newer body.  

I currently weigh 201 pounds. I’m pleased with that as it puts me on the verge of onederland! I’ve decided to try to lose another 15 to 20 pounds before next November and the abdomnioplasty. I’m not sure that’s possible, but I’m certainly going to try. I can’t really start exercising fully until January. I will begin walking again but I won’t be able to life weights or engage in intense exercise for another month. We’ll see how much more weight I can get rid of in the next 11 months. I know that the surgeon will most likely take about 10 pounds with the abdomnioplasty. I’d love to end up around 170 someday. Time will tell.  

I am fortunate and have few problems eating. I try to eat healthily and don’t deny myself the occasional treat. My tool still works and lets me know when I’ve overeaten or consumed too much sugar. I’m so pleased to have had the opportunity to have gastric bypass surgery. I am healthier and a more confident individual. I’m also happier.  

If anyone is interested in before and after plastics pictures, send me an email and I will forward them along to you. They are graphic pictures so be warned! Please include your email address in your message.

All for now, Stephanie 

I must admit something. I love to shop! Me. Yup. The chick who always hated to shop now loves it. I dreaded changing seasons and being forced to order clothes online. My size was becoming larger each year and I just dreaded trying to find clothes. I also hated spring and summer. It’s so much more difficult to hide behind spring and summer clothes than it is fall and winter.

My husband and I spent Friday together and headed to the mall in Burlington, MA . We had the most wonderful day hanging out and shopping. :-) I just love being with him! I bought a spring jacket in a size large. I couldn’t believe it! I tried on the extra large but it was kind of roomy. I thought that I would try the large just for fun. It fit! I also bought a bangle bracelet. Not the extended size. But a regular, off the rack, bracelet. I could shop in ANY store for ANY item and not worry that I wouldn’t be able to find things that fit. It’s like a whole new world has opened up. 

I’m teetering on the edge of size sixteen but am not quite there yet. I hope to be there in another month or so. I really can’t describe the happiness that I felt on Friday just walking around the mall knowing that I could actually shop. I think my husband really enjoyed watching my expressions as I tried things on. I bet we were the smiling-est people walking the mall that day! 

Still smiling,

Stephanie

My husband I went to a wedding and I asked someone to take a picture of us since we are seldom dressed up simultaneously. I downloaded the pictures and wondered who he was standing next to. Who is that woman next to him? That can't possibly be me! I mean, that woman looks "normal". I do not look like that. Do I?

It is the strangest thing to see a picture of myself these days. My brain cannot reconcile that I'm looking at me. It must be someone else. Now, by no means do I think I look thin. But, I do seem to look, well, decent. Perhaps even "normal". My face that looks back at me isn't really that familiar. It's very weird! 

Maybe someday I will understand that the woman standing next to my husband is indeed me. 

Stephanie

(The pictures are to the left in the photos section.)

Today I met with the nurse practioner and the dietician from my bariatric program. They were both very pleased with my progress. I have lost 67.2% of my excess weight. My labs were excellent! I was most concerned about the blood work so I'm pleased that everything is in line. I just need to continue doing what I'm doing and I should continue to see progress. I will meet with them again at 18 months and they will go ahead and schedule an appointment for my plastics consult now so that I won't need to wait once I reach the 18 month mark. I was happy about that as well! 

Great news all around!

- Stephanie

Stats

Height: 5ft. 7 ½ in.

Starting Weight: 350 lbs.

Surgery Date Weight: 316 lbs.

Current Weight: 215 lbs.

WLS Weight Goal: 208 lbs. (70% of excess weight)    

Personal Weight Goal: 160 lbs.

Current Size: 18 Women’s

Personal Size Goal: 12 Regular

Current BMI: 33.7

Personal BMI Goal: Normal <24.9

Pounds lost since surgery: 101 lbs.

Total Pounds Lost: 135 lbs.

Total Inches Lost: 55.75

Twelve Months Post-Op
One year ago today I was anxiously awaiting all of the changes brought about by the surgeon. I can’t believe it has been a year. I only lost one pound this last month but I did manage to lose three inches. The inches make up for the lack of pounds! It has been a good month and a great year. 

I feel as if I have conquered the exercise demon this month. I am averaging three to four days at the gym each week plus a spinning class once a week. I’ve found that by not telling myself that I need to work out a specific number of times per week, I actually hit the gym as I should. For some reason, taking that pressure off of myself has enabled me to exercise regularly. I’m still not sure why this works, but it does!

I am having issues, however, with snacking. I am definitely hungry often. To combat this, I am trying to plan my two snacks per day. I need something around 10:30 a.m. and also something around 3:00 p.m. If I don’t plan these snacks, it can be disastrous! I will eat whatever I can find instead of what I should. I have also found myself overeating a few times this month. I need to keep a firm grip on portion control and remember that just because I am able to eat a certain amount, doesn’t mean I should eat that amount. Once it is on my plate, it will be in my stomach. Therefore, it can’t be placed on my plate. This only happens at dinnertime. It’s weird that the rest of the day is more manageable. 

I have my one year post-op check-up tomorrow with my bariatric program. My blood was drawn on Monday and I hope all of my labs look good. I’m pretty good about taking my vitamins so the labs should be in good shape. I’m also anxious to speak with them about plastic surgery. The skin is becoming quite bothersome! I would like for my plastics consult to be scheduled for sometime soon after September 7^th. I know they won’t even see me until after 18 months post-op. Ideally, I would like to have the surgery after Thanksgiving so that I can use December to recover with minimal impact to work and school. Medical event seldom work out as planned, but a girl can hope! I am interested to hear what the plastic surgeon thinks I can have done. My insurance should pay for the breast reduction and the panni area. My arms and thighs will most likely be out of pocket. I have no idea how much money that involves, but I would like to try to have arms and thighs done as well. Time will tell!

What a year it has been. I am so grateful for a great surgeon, zero complications and the determination to succeed. That determination has pushed me through many days of frustration. Physically, this process has not been difficult. Mentally, it has been very difficult at times. At this point, my idea of success has changed somewhat. I continue to try and separate success from a number. Success is not the number on the scale or the size I wear. Rather, success is incorporating eating well, exercising and making healthful decisions into my normal routine. Every day that I go to the gym or an exercise class, I am successful. Every meal that is well planned and nourishing is a sign of success. Each day that I do not overeat is a successful day. I may never reach my original goal of 160 pounds. Certainly I will not reach that goal without major plastic surgery. I will, however, reach my next goal of 199. And, I think I can also wear a size 12 someday. But those achievements are results of my success. They don’t indicate that I am successful. If I never wear a size 12, I will still be a weight loss surgery success. Why? Because I am healthier, better educated about how to be healthy and managing my routine in order to stay healthy.

Thanks to all who have supported me and a special shout-out to my friends from the March 2006 board. What an amazing group of people who continue to support and encourage me as well as each other. I can’t imagine taking this journey without you!

Healthier and happier, 
Stephanie 

Hi MARCHers!

Last night I did something I wouldn't have thought I could EVER do. I took a spinning class! Yup, it kicked my butt in a big way. But, it was fun. I've seen Rebeka post about spinning classes and always thought that I would never be able to keep up in a class like that. I didn't do too badly for my first time.

I liked it so much that I'm going to go every Wednesday night just to break up the exercise routine for the week. I've done very well with exercise this week and hope to continue that trend. I decided that I should NOT tell myself that I must make it to the gym a certain number of times in a week but should instead simply get up in the mornings and see if it makes sense to go. Thus far, it's made sense on Sat, Sun, Mon and Wed. I seem to be in a better frame of mind if I don't assign such lofty goals as 5 or 6 days in a week.

Anyhow, just thought I would share my spinning experience with you!

Rebeka, thanks for the inspiration!

Stephanie

Stats

Height: 5ft. 7 ½ in.

Starting Weight: 350 lbs.

Surgery Date Weight: 316 lbs.

Current Weight: 216 lbs.

WLS Weight Goal: 208 lbs. (70% of excess weight)    

Personal Weight Goal: 160 lbs.

Current Size: 18 Women’s

Personal Size Goal: 12 Regular

Current BMI: 33.8

Personal BMI Goal: Normal <24.9

Pounds lost since surgery: 100 lbs.

Total Pounds Lost: 134 lbs.

Total Inches Lost: 52.75

Eleven Months Post-Op
It’s been almost a year since my surgery! Unbelievable. In the past month, I’ve lost six pounds, four inches and one BMI point. I finally reached the century club and lost 100 pounds since surgery. It seems as if it took forever to get there. Now I’m ready to be in ONEderland. I hope to reach that goal by July. 

I’ve been traveling a lot and that has made it difficult to stick to any sort of routine. Exercise has been especially difficult. I have walked a lot, though, while traveling. I’m amazed at how much easier life is when 134 pounds lighter. I just don’t have to spend as much time thinking about how much space I take up or if something will be difficult for me to handle. I simply live. I love that part! I never realized how much my weight held me back from life. I always thought that I managed well in spite of my weight. That’s true, to a point. What I didn’t know was how much easier everyday life could be with some of the weight gone. 

I still struggle, and always will, with food choices and portion control. Last night I ate more than I should have. I was so uncomfortable and I was mad at myself for not paying closer attention to my portions. I’m not sure what synapse doesn’t fire correctly in my brain that makes me think I need to eat so much! I wish it would go away, that’s for sure. 

I hope to lose five pounds next month. I also hope to re-establish a gym routine for myself. I’m going to shoot for four days per week. Sometimes I think that everything is all or nothing. Moderation is the key in more arenas than just food! Instead of telling myself that I must be at the gym six days each week, I’m going to try to go four times and see how that goes. Wish me luck!

Next stop…my one year surgiversary! 

Stephanie

 

Stats

Height: 5ft. 7 ½ in.

Starting Weight: 350 lbs.

Surgery Date Weight: 316 lbs.

Current Weight: 222 lbs.

WLS Weight Goal: 208 lbs. (70% of excess weight)    

Personal Weight Goal: 160 lbs.

Current Size: 18 Women’s

Personal Size Goal: 12 Regular

Current BMI: 34.8

Personal BMI Goal: Normal <24.9

Pounds lost since surgery: 94 lbs.

Total Pounds Lost: 128 lbs.

Total Inches Lost: 48.75

Ten Months Post-Op 
Happy 2007! What a year of change in 2006. I wonder if 2007 will feel the same. This month I lost 5 pounds, 2 inches and .7 BMI points. I would rather all of those figures be doubled! But, I suppose I will take what I can get. Still wearing a size 18 in clothing. I think it will be quite some time before I see those elusive size 16’s. I definitely like my totals but am waiting to hit 100 pounds lost since surgery and also waiting to weigh 199. By my calculations (yup, I’m a numbers driven person!) it will be another 5 months until I reach ONEderland. I can’t wait!  

I did well during the holidays though I did notice a few nasty habits trying to creep their way back in. I feel as if I can eat anything, anytime and in any quantity. I know that is not really true. I certainly can’t put away the quantity of food that I could before surgery. Now that I can easily meet my minimum daily requirements (protein, water, etc.), my focus is on not overeating and portion control. I am finding that I do need snacks on most days. I try not to have a morning snack as I think that I should be able to make it from 8:30 a.m. or so till noon without eating anything. But, sometimes I do get hungry.

Exercise is still the bane of my existence. Ugh! (See post below.) I guess I can only keep trying. Not sure what else I can do. I will be traveling more days this month than I will be home so that makes it really difficult to fit the gym in with any regularity. The good news is that I will be walking many miles every day so I will get some exercise in.

Still working on my body image as well. That may be a lifetime project! It is so difficult for me to see myself as successful when I look in the mirror. All I see is how fat I am. I do understand that I look and feel better, but I just can’t feel successful. So, I’m working on being nicer to myself and trying to celebrate my accomplishments instead of focusing on how far I have yet to go. As it was recently explained to me by a medical professional, it is unlikely that I will reach my goal of 160 pounds. Because I have been morbidly obese for so long, my body is probably not able to reach that low of a weight. This means that my BMI will most likely never be “normal”. It’s hard for me to accept that, but I need to try to get that concept through my thick head. 

Anyhow, life really is good and I don’t have any right to complain. I am fortunate in so many ways. 2007 is the year of counting my blessings. I intend to focus on all of the things I do have and have accomplished instead of all of the things I have yet to acquire or accomplish. 

Happy New Year! 

Stephanie 

Hi everyone. I'm struggling with something and I thought maybe you could help!

I try to go to the gym at least four times per week. Everything I've ever read or heard indicates that regular exercise must be part of a successful weight loss and maintenance plan. It makes sense. However, my body apparently doesn't respond as well to exercise.

I haven't been to the gym for at least two weeks due to finishing up two classes, work and the holidays. Something had to give, and the gym was that something. So today I am determined to get back on track and here I sit, at my computer, in my gym clothes and ready to go. Except that I'm not ready to go.

When I exercise regularly, the scale moves more slowly than a snail. When I don't exercise, the pounds seem to melt away. I still have a lot of weight to lose. 61 pounds to be precise. I've lost four pounds in the last week and a half and the last time I saw weight loss like that I wasn't exercising due to traveling. I know that the exercising builds muscle and that muscle weighs more than fat. So in my brain, I understand why the scale may move more slowly when I am hitting the gym regularly. But the problem is that I don't want to lose weight slowly! I want to see positive reinforcement for exercising and making good food choices. But, I know that exercising is healthy and will make my body function optimally.

Anyone have any suggestions for how I can resolve this dilemma in my head? I am five pounds away from losing 100 pounds since my surgery and 21.5 pounds away from ONEderland. I desperately want to reach both of these goals!

Any advice is much appreciated! Yes, I am going to go the gym right now. If I don't go right this minute, I'll find something else to do and won't go at all!

Thanks, Stephanie

PS - New family picture posted in my photos on my profile. I know I'm biased, but my boys are handsome!