snowloft

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November 7, 2006 - As a man, I feel compelled to be strong.  My training from my youth with my friends is to not whine or complain about pain, and to basically "suck it up".  For years I have lived in physical, mental and emotional misery, but I felt it was my duty to "suck it up" and put on the best face I could for the people around me.  I have difficulty trusting in other people, and confiding in them the troubles and/or pain I am experiencing.  Mainly, because I believe people don't enjoy the company of someone who complains all the time.

Perhaps this was a completely foolish belief on my part.

My energy and strength are degrading, and the pain and perpetual misery I have been experiencing for years are starting to be seen by others.  I don't think I'm capable of hiding it anymore, and am basically resigned that people will either know or find out what my real condition is.  No more hiding.

I have started talking to a few special people in my life about my real situation, and so far people have been very supportive.  I still want to be careful though, so as not to allow them to grow weary of hearing my troubles.   At any rate, I new phase in my life has started, and I'm learning how to accept its reality.

There are serious changes that will occur.  I will need to tell people "no" more often, if I'm unable to do something.  And those that love me will have to accept my condition.  When I've said no in the past, people have become angry or resentful towards me.  I will have to learn to deal with that.

Now is the time for me to take care of myself and my needs.  Once I'm healithy again, the situation will be different.

October 26, 2006 - My primary care physician called today to say that according to the surgeon's policy, I need to attend the seminar on November 14, before they will even schedule any type of appointment.  After the seminar, then I am permitted to file an application for the surgery.  I was hoping to bypass some of these "formalities", but it is becoming apparent that I must perform a song and dance if I'm ever going to have the surgery.  I've done extensive research, and I'm in urgent need to have this done, however I suspect this will not have any influence in making the process go faster.  Who knows what my condition will be in 6 months, or whenever they finally decide to do the surgery.  I'm not doing well, as you can probably derive from this entry.

October 25, 2006 - My primary care physician called today, and let me know that the referral has been sent today.  Not much in the way of other news, however, at least the gears are beginning to turn.

October 20, 2006 - First, I reverified that my insurance will cover the surgery, and they reverified that it is fully covered.  My insurance is Anthem Preferred Blue.  For in-patient Lap-Band surgery, 100% is covered with only a $250 copayment.

I want to have the surgery close to work, so that any pre-op and post-op appointments will minimize the time for me to be out of work.  I verified that the hospital, and all the bariatric surgeons are all "In Network".  So everything is falling into place very well.  Here is the hospital and the surgeons:

Portsmouth Regional Hospital
Looser, Kevin G, MD
Paciulli, Cynthia A, MD
Gens Jr, John P, MD

October 16, 2006  - After years of research, and a recommendation by my doctor, I finally made the commitment to proceed with the Lap-Band surgery.

October 17, 2006 - Found out that my insurance will fully cover the surgery, and my doctor is initiating contact with the bariatric surgeons at Portsmouth Regional Hospital in New Hampshire.  The next seminar is on November 14th, and they require all prospective patients to attend the seminar first.