Speed Bumps

Oct 16, 2014

I haven't eaten white sugar in 10 days. I haven't had any white bread or pasta in 6 days. I've worked out in the gym 4 times in the last 10 days and walked with the family in the park another day. I'm down 5-6 pounds. Until today I haven't binged or purged (not deliberately anyway - I've gotten sick a few times bc of a grumpy pouch - food gets stuck in my gastric pouch or esophagus sometimes bc of my gastric bypass). I had shakes and low blood sugar/withdrawl symptoms the first few days, but that has subsided. My cravings have lessened. It has been going well.

I've been stressed and a little sleep deprived, broke and juggling school.

I chewed and spit out a couple of mini-donuts today. And I ate more than I should have of "allowed" foods. But I was eating because I was stressed - even though it wasn't a full-fledged binge it was emotional eating. I got a grade on a test that I wasn't happy with, and I ate about 500 extra calories.

It is what it is. It's done. Things happen. It's not good or bad. I am not good or bad. It just is. I just am.

I am in control of my life. I am in control in what I put in my body. I am in control of my habits and behaviors. I get to make the choices and decisions. Other people can tell me what I should do or what they want me to do. But I get to make the choices. And I want to choose wisely because I deserve to be happy and healthy. I am making these choices for myself. I'm not eating something or eating something because that's what the doctor says I have to do. I am eating or not eating things because that's what I choose to eat or not eat.

I've been treating my body well. I deserve to be treated well.

Tomorrow I will choose with a conscious mind instead of an emotional one.

Today is done. Onto the next!

0 Comments