sroberts

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I joined OH on April 7, 2008.  468 lbs and desperate for help; sad and feeling much despair.  What a journey it has been.  Today I am 239 lbs lighter - I still can't believe it! - 2 years post op - roux n y - and feeling great!! Still have lots of energy - can walk 7kms and more!  I'm now figuring out how to "be" in this new body.  Its been an emotional roller coaster.  But I"m happy today.  And I'm living my new motto - "if you have the chance to sit it out or dance...I hope you dance!"  I wish you all health and happiness.

So on Saturday July 16 I completed the Support Group leader training!  Lots of good information and ideas to share.  It is my next step in this journey of wellness.  Geting out of my head and formerly negative space and checking out the world around me.  In my old life I was the centre of my universe and it was a pretty sad universe.  For the first time in a long time I am actually noticing that there are other souls out there who have gone through exactly what I have gone through and worse.  There is so much I want to say and do to give a message of hope and health to as many people as I can.  Thanks OH for the opportunity.  Onward and upward!

Its been a roller coaster -these past few months!  I have been getting smaller and smaller.  Yesterday I found the courage to go into Penningtons to see if I could fit into jeans and dress pants.  I can!  Size 28.  I am the same person who not too long ago had to buy 8x clothing online.  Everytime I feel my hip bones, or reach around myself to scratch my back or fit into a chair with arms I get teary eyed and say a silent prayer of praise and thanks to God who gave me this gift of health.

I wear my emotions on my sleeve!  Years of crippling depression along with the weight gain have left their mark on me.   As the weight has come off so has the depression lifted.  When I feel that familiar cloud start to come over me, I can cope and work my way out of it. However sometimes I feel ashamed that I could not lose weight without the surgery.  But I know that if I start to entertain these negative thoughts of shame and self-pity that not long behind them will be the feelings. So I remember that by choosing to have the surgery I chose the road to renewed health and a better life.   I made a choice that I will no longer let depression overwhelm me.  I made the decision to fight.  I made the decision to surrender the pain to God and let him replace it with joy.

*I did that*.   

There are some words to a song that inspire me.  The song is I hope you Dance by Lee Ann Womack.  I hope her message of hope will touch you as well.  Cheers, until next blog, Susan
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance.

Hello everyone!

Jen and I would like to wish each and everyone of you and your families healthy minds, bodies and spirits for 2011 and beyond!  We are going to be starting up the monthly meetings again.  Stay tuned......
Cheers,
Susan and Jen

Hello, 80lbs down, 3 months out.  Life is becoming very interesting.  Moving is much easier.   I can't express how free I feel now.  Food has been my best friend,worst enemy, comforter, shadow, everything except what its supposed to be - fuel.  now i'm learning to relegate it to its proper positon.  no longer endowing it with human abilities (friend? enemy????) its become a thing I do to take care of my body.  I'm living what I call a dim sum life!!  Dim Sum means "little bites".  For those of you who don't know about dim sum - here is the Wikipedia definition:  "Dim sum is the Cantonese term for a type of Chinese dish that involves small individual portions of food, usually served in a small steamer basket or on a small plate."  I look forward to my small portions of food that taste so good and are nourishing for my body.  And for the rest of my life, living the "dim sum" life is what I want to do.  I wish I could share my sense of joy and freedom with everyone.   Thanks for reading and welcome to my "dim sum" world. cheers, Susan

1 month ago today I had a roux n y gastric bypass.  It has been a challenging month.  But I am happy and excited about the future.  It has been challenging.  The first few days at home, all I could think was "What have I done to myself???  I can't do this!  What am I gonna do now??" But I'm happy to say that these thoughts passed quickly and I am now feeling much better about this decision.  You know, I prepared for this - mentally, emotionally, lifestyle and eating changes - however I wasn't totally prepared for the reality of my new life.   I've been reading that these thoughts are "normal" for many post-surgery bariatric patients.  

My clothes are already too big.  My bras are too big.  That sounds weird and looks even stranger on the screen as I type.  I am looking forward to new changes.  I am noticing that I have to overcome old fears about moving.  Before the surgery, I was afraid to walk or move around too much because I thought I would get hurt or have a heart attack.  Now I have to tell myself that I CAN walk.  And when I do walk the routes that I used to be afraid of walking, I am happily suprised that I am able to be so mobile.  I know things will only get better.  On July 2, 2010 I am going for my first follow up appointment and then I will be able to step up the exercise from just walking.  I will be starting aquafit and zumba classes!!  I love life!  If anyone is reading this, be encouraged, don't give up, things will get better, you can do it!

This morning I woke up went into the bathroom and cried and cried and cursed myself in the mirror.  I looked at the reflection and said "you did this, why did you do this to me?"  Weird huh?   I have to do something about this weight.  My knees hurt and I can barely move I get winded so easily.  I am dying - I know I am slowly killing myself.  So I decided to go onto obesityhelp.com and find out about bariatric surgery.  If I don't do something about this I don't know how long I can go on.