sugar_bear0203

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Well its come to that nice lil point where you look at yourself in the mirror after droping all the weight and see all the lose skin and wish for the tummy tuck , the arm lift even the thigh lift but no matter how much you wish for them you can't make it . no matter how much you try to save for the surgeries you never get close to your goal . well thats where i am right now . i see myself in the mirror with my clothes off and all i see is the past . no matter what new clothes i buy or the size its always there to remind you all that skin. I have even went as far as thinking about trying to raise money for what needs to be done . but i know no one will be able to help with it. not the family not my friends . every week i try to put as much money away as i can but i just dont seem to be getting any closer to anything . well anyways enough of my ranting i guess . im just a lil upset about it is all . but you never know what may come your way i guess

I'm loving life now .I recently went to a water park with my husband and had a blast on the rides not only that but I've made it into size 10 jeans .and have never felt better. i love it now that i can pretty much do anything and not have to worry about sitting down all the time or making sure i know where everything is

yesterday i tried on a pair of jeans and was shocked at the size of them I can now wear a size 14 i cant even remember the last time i have ever worn a size 14 i was so excited that i walked out of the dressing room and looked at my husband and said guess what size i was grinning ear to ear on it a sales lady looked at me and smiled another one just looked but i didnt care i was just so happy to be in a smaller size than an 18 wow who knows by christmas i may end up in a size 10 or 12 keeping fingers crossed i cant wait for my family and freinds to see me when i travel to ohio for the first time since my surgery my grandmother has seen a few photos of me since ive had it and has talked to me on the phone plenty about how much ive lost but i dont think its really going to hit anyone until they see me lol well im going to get off here and see what things i can get into today have fun today all

This week I was able to lose 5 lbs wow my goal was only set for 2 to 3 pounds but im so happy that i made it past that amount i have reset my goal for this coming up week hopeully i will hit my goal weight within a month or two so who knows im just really happy right now and this coming up novemeber i am getting rid of all my old clothes and going shopping for all new things lol lord i cant wait to see what size i will end up in .........This cristmas i will be going to ohio to see family and friends that havent seen me since before my surgery how surprised are they going to be lol and well i have started planning a trip to ireland well me and my husband have started planning the trip we are going to us it as the honeymoon we never got and to also use it as a fresh start for the two of us wow i cant wait for all this to happy well i am going to get going i have a house to clean lol

I was able to upload a few pictures to my photo album but still not able to do one for my profile pic so feel free to tell me what you think of the pictures okay im happy with the way im starting to look and feel about myself and well im starting ot set new little goals for myself during the week like this week my goal is to lose another 2 to 3 lbs and to find out what size pants i can wear now lol silly isnt it but its worth it well i am off to finish cleaning my house and to finish up my little work out so talk to everyone later

Well I have somethings that are on my mind and I can't seem to get rid of them. see before my surgery me and my husband had been going througha  lot for many years. And of course one of the problems we were having was due to my weight. So I decided to fix that problem and have the surgery to help and for many months it was helping. Things were changing and he was acting different towards me even becoming the man I fell in love with. But now things are going back and now I'm not sure of what to do . On one hand I love my husband very much , but on the other I don't want to be hurt any longer. What should I do? Should I wait out another year to see if things improve? Or should I move on? See one of the problems that we are having now is that I am having to compete with porn to get his attention. And I'm tired of doing that. For to many years I was always second to the military . And now that he is out I have shifted from second down to third for now it goes school, porn and then me . Honestly I don't know what to do.. I've been told that I must be one hell of a woman to stick around as long as I have. But what else am I supposed to do. He wasn't always like this. I mean for the first two years that we were married it was about me and him granted the military was mixed in there. But then he went to iraq and well things changed he started talking to other woman and started telling me he never loved me and wanted a divorce. He then came home and things seemed okay he no longer talked about a divorce but then again he never said I love you to me anymore. He had changed. We have been married for 6 years going on 7 this december and well I think I've finally had as much as I can take. I was told before I had this surgery that so many people end up in divorces afterwards. And well I can believe it. Even though I was headed down this road for too many years now. I just feel so alone and my family well they are many hours away form where I am. I'm not sure I want to try to stick it out til around feb because that is my one year marker of having the surgery. Only time will tell what will happen but as of right now there is nothing going on between me and him. is there anyone out there who understands what I'm going through? well I'm getting off here . If anyone reads this and wants to know more they can look me up on myspace if they have it . Look me up using my email; address it is [email protected] k thats for letting me let this out .

I had my surgery on Feb 09, 2009. On that date i weighed in at 312.6. As of today I now weigh 221.6. And am still going strong. My husband has been with me from the begining and says there is a really big change in me. On the outside as well as in the inside. I am more active and able to move around a lot better. My husband and me laugh because I used to get really winded when walking through a store trying to keep up with him. Now I can keep up with him and sometimes pass him up to the point of him trying to keep up with me . I'm so glad I had the surgery. And sometimes I wish i would of done it sooner. Nearly everyone in my family have only seen pictures of me on my myspace page and only my sister and some of my cousins and my uncle and aunt have seen me in person since droping the weight that I have. I cant wait to hit my goal weight of 180. My sister is getting married next june and I am to be in the wedding. I happy as well as scared. She wants all her brides maids to wear a straples yellow dress and I have never liked my arms. Well I am going to get going .