Getting Back On....boy it's HARD!!

Jul 20, 2010

I haven't blogged since the weekend prior to Half Marathon weekend.  I went, as planned, and was stoked along with being a little scared.  I began @6am on June 12th attempting my first Half Marathon.  By mile 3 mark I could feel what was a big blister beginning to form on my right foot.  I stopped into the medical tent and had my foot wrapped by a physical therapist.  She applied some gel blister protectors to 2 areas of my foot before wrapping it.  I soldiered on.  The air was heavy and thick with humidity that day.  Mid June temperatures in Mississippi make it miserable just to be outdoors.   There were times I felt like I couldn't push forward because of the heat but I kept going.  By the time I made it to the 9 mile mark the blister had become enormous,  popped, and was unbearalbe. I had to throw in the towel. I stopped and asked for someone to call for a ride to take me back the the tent where my team was gathered. I pulled my cell phone from my running belt and text my mother immediately.  I told her I had to quit because of the blister and the heat.  She said "I'm proud of you baby, thank you for using wisdom."  I teared up just a little but didn't let the flood gates open because I was among strangers.  My driver dropped me off and I had quite a trek to make it to the tent where my people were.  My foot was killing me.  As I made my way across the grounds I saw the coach of my Marathon Makeover Team.  I spoke to her for a moment and told her what had happened.  She went with me and helped me get to the team tent.  Once under the tent I removed my shoe. The blister was far worse than I imagined.  It covered the whole side of my right foot and stretched onto the sole of my foot and covered my entire arch.  Since I had made it into the company of my support system I was able to allow myself to fall apart.  I cried, hard.

I cried for so many reasons. The number one reason was the feeling of failure. I am always hard on myself and this was no exception.  Everyone said "You did great! You made it to 9 miles with a blister like that?"  All I could feel was sadness and defeat.  Along with this huge defeat I had also met someone and allowed them into my life. The night after I didn't finish the marathon was the last time I saw or heard from that person.  Talk about a punch in the gut!!  Needless to say, I wallowed in my self pity for quite some time.  I made some really bad decisions and got way off track with my exercise and eating habits.  THEN, a dear friend I have known since age 12 passed away after a long 8 month battle with Leukemia.  Yet another punch in the gut. I began eating hamburgers and ice cream like I never had surgery.  I was a wreck and was falling apart.

Last Monday I packed my gym bag and put it into my car when I left for work.  I also had an appointment with my therapist that afternoon. I spilled it all and put everything on the table.  I left there with the resolve to push through the negativity I had allowed myself to be overcome by.  On July 12th I put on my tennis shoes for the first time since the Half Marathon day. I went to the gym and was late for a friend's birthday dinner but I wasn't going to lose momentum.  I made it to the gym 3 days last week.  I also had a fill done last week while in New Orleans for a concert.  I had more energy and felt better this past weekend than I have in the past month. I mowed grass and spent time with friends and my baby brother.  It was a wonderful weekend.

I have made it to the gym yesterday and today and I plan to go to the gym 2 more days this week.  I weighed this morning and I have lost 5 lbs.  THANK YOU JESUS...I AM BACK ON TRACK  !!!!!!!!!!!!   

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