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OK I HAVE GONE THROUGH THE MAD STAGE, THE CRYING STAGE AND NOW I GUESS I AM AT THE GET A SOLUTION STAGE.  STILL DO NOT KNOW WHAT THAT SOLUTION WILL BE BUT I KNOW THAT I WILL NOT GIVE UP UNTIL I FIND IT.  ALTHOUGH ON MOST DAYS I FEEL JUST LIKE GIVING UP.  I WENT TO MY COO THIS MORNING AND ASKED HER ABOUT WRITING THE LETTER SHE SAID THAT SHE COULD NOT BECAUSE IF SHE DID IT FOR ME THEN SHE HAD 250 OTHER EMPLOYEES WHO WOULD THEN WANT A LETTER OF EXCLUSION WRITTEN FOR THEM FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SURGERY AND OR MEDICAL PROCEDURES.  I UNDERSTOOD WHERE SHE WAS COMING FROM BUT I WAS STILL HURT.  SHE DID TELL ME THAT SHE WOULD NOT IN NO WAY HINDER ME FROM HAVING THE SURGERY.  MEANING IF THE INSURANCE COMPANY ASKED SHE WOULD NOT TELL THEM NO.  I GUESS THAT IS A GOOD THING, I AM NOT SURE.  I TALKED WITH A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE AND TOLD HER THAT THE ONLY OTHER THING I THOUGHT I COULD DO SHORT OF SELLING A KIDNEY WAS TO CHANGE MY JOB.   SHE SUGGESTED THAT I GO AND TRY TO GET ON MEDICAID.  SHE TOLD ME TO GO IN THERE AND BE 100% HONEST AND TELL THEM IT WAS MEDICALLY NECESSARY THAT I HAVE THE SURGERY AND MY INSURANCE WOULD NOT COVER IT.  AND SEE IF THEY WOULD GIVE ME MEDICAID JUST LONG ENOUGH TO COVER THE SURGERY AND THE HOSPITAL STAY.  MY INSURANCE WILL PAY FOR ME TO GO TO SEE A WEIGHT LOSS DOCTOR BUT IT WILL NOT PAY FOR ME TO HAVE WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY NOW HOW CRAZY IS THAT.  IT WIL EVEN PAY FOR ME TO HAVE PRESCRIBED WEIGHT LOSS DRUGS BUT NOT THE SURGERY.  IT MUST BE A SKINNY PERSON MAKING THE RULES...LOL (HEY I LAUGHED)...SO ANYHOW ON MONDAY I WILL GO IN TO WORK LATE AND TRY TO APPLY FOR MEDICAID.  PLEASE PRAY HARD FOR ME THAT IT ALL WORKS OUT.  
UNTIL NEXT TIME I BLOG
BE BLESSED 
CHERYL

OK SO I WENT TO MY HUMAN RESOURCE OFFICE TODAY AT WORK AND EXPALINED TO HER WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE INSURANCE.  SHE HAS HAD THE SURGERY ALSO HERS WAS IN INDIANA.  SHE WAS VERY SYMPATHETIC.  SHE CALLED BC/BS FOR ME AND ASKED ABOUT THE APPEAL OR GETTING MY COO TO WRITE A LETTER OF EXCLUSION.  THE LADY AT BC/BC SAID THAT BC/BC OF SOUTH CAROLINA DOES NOT COVER THE SURGERY.  SHE SAID THAT SC IS ONE OF THE TOP STATES FOR PATIENTS WHO DO NOT FOLLOW THROUGH WITH WHAT THEY NEED TO DO AFTER THE SURGERY AND END UP COSTING MORE AFTER THE SURGERY THEN TO ACTUALLY HAVE THE SURGERY.  SO BASICALLY THEY DO NOT CARE WHAT LETTERS YOU SEND IN OR HOW MANY TIMES YOU APPEAL OR HOW MUCH OF A MEDICAL NECESSITY THE SURGERY IS.  THEY DO NOT COVER IT.  YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW AND TRUST ME WHATEVER YOU ARE THINKING IS NOT EVEN CLOSE.  DAMM DAMM DAMM I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP BUT WHAT ELSE CAN I DO.  I CAN NOT AFFORD TO PAY FOR THE SURGERY.  I CAN NOT AFFORD TO PAY FOR ANOTHER INSURANCE OUTSIDE OF THE ONE I HAVE.  I AM SO HURT.  IT IS NOT FAIR.  BUT I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME NO ONE HELD ME DOWN AND MADE ME EAT I GOT THIS WAY ALL BY MYSELF.  I CAN NOT EVEN BLAME IT ON MY PARENTS AND GROWING UP.  I WAS A SMALL CHILD ALL MY LIFE UNTIL I STARTED HAVING CHILDREN.  WELL TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY AND EXCEPT FOR THE DATE CHANGING NOTHING ELSE IS GOING TO CHANGE.  I KNOW THAT I NEED TO FIND SOME GRATITUDE BUT FOR RIGHT NOW IT IS HARD.  
UNTIL NEXT TIME I BLOG
BE BLESSED
CHERYL

THAT IS HOW I FEEL.  AS IF SOMEONE HAS BEATEN ME ALL THE WAY DOWN AND NOW I HAVE TO TRY AND GAIN MY STRENGTH AND GET BACK UP AGAIN.  THEY HAVE TAKEN THE SMILE OFF MY FACE AND BROKEN MY SPIRIT.  I GUESS I KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE BUT I DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH OR THE MOTIVATION TO GET IT DONE.  I AM NOT UNDERSTANDING MY INSURANCE COMPANY WHY WOULD A SURGERY THAT IS MEDICALLY NECESSARY FOR MY LIFE BE DENIED.  66% OF ADULT AMERICANS ARE OVERWEIGHT AND OF THAT 66% 38% WILL DIE FROM HEALTH RELATED ISSUSES THAT ARE DIRECTLY RELATED TO THEIR WEIGHT.  SO WHAT I GUESS THE INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE JUST SAYING TO HELL WITH THEM LET THEM DIE.  I KNOW THAT SOME INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE GREAT AND YOU ALL HAVE HAD NO PROBLEMS GETTING APPROVED BUT FOR ME I DO NOT HAVE THAT SAME STORY.  WHEN I FIRST WENT IN TO HAVE THE SURGERY I HAD MEDICAID AND I WAS APRROVED IN 48 HOURS AFTER MY DOCTOR'S OFFICE SENT IN THE PAPERWORK.  
WELL IT HAS REALLY BEEN A HORRIBLE WEEKEND AND BACK TO WORK TOMORROW.  I AM SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT ASKING MY BOSS IS THERE ANYTHING THAT THEY CAN DO WITH THE INSURANCE TO GET MY SURGERY APPROVED.  SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT THEY CAN WRITE A MEDICAL WRITTEN EXCLUSION AND THAT WOULD DO IT.  I WORK FOR A PIVATE OWNED FAMILY BUSINESS WITH ABOUT 150 EMPLOYEES, THE OWNERS OFFICE IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM MINE.  HE IS IN  THE OFFICE EVERYDAY.  I HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH THE COO SO MAYBE I WILL RUN IT BY HER FIRST AND SEE WHAT SHE SAYS.  BEING A WOMAN SHE MAYBE A LITTLE MORE UNDERSTANDING.  HER AND I ARE MEMBERS OF THE SAME GYM AND WE WORK OUT SOME DAYS TOGETHER.  HER FATHER IS THE CEO SO MAYBE SHE CAN GO TO HIM AND PLEAD MY CASE.  THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA WHAT DO YOU THINK?????  WELL I AM GOING BACK TO MY BED NOW.  THE FUNNY THING IS THAT WHEN I AM SAD I DO NOT EAT.  I HAVE NOT EATEN A MEAL SINCE THURSDAY NIGHT.  I AM JUST DRINKING WATER SO I DON'T GET DEHYDRATED. 
UNTIL NEXT TIME I BLOG.
BE BLESSED
CHERYL

I AM STILL CRYING AND FELL...WELL I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT...I AM LOOKING FOR SUGGESTIONS ON HOW I GO ABOUT WRITING AN APPEAL LETTER WHAT DO I NEED TO MAKE SURE IS IN IT.  I WANT TO WRITE IT AND TELL THEM WHAT A BUNCH OF SORRY S.O.B'S THEY ARE AND HOW I WANT THEM TO...............WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I KNOW THAT WILL NOT HELP ME AT ALL IF ANYTHING THEY JUST MIGHT TAKE IT AS A THREAT AND THEN THE POLICE WILLBE KNOCKING ON MY DOOR.  BUT FOR REAL ANYONE WHO MAY HAVE SOME TIPS OR EXAMPLES FOR ME PLEASE HELP.  RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT TO TAKE ONE MINUTE OUT TO SCREAM...AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...STILL FEEL LIKE CRAP BUT THANKS FOR LISTENING...
UNTIL NEXT TIME I BLOGGED
BE BLESSED
CHERYL

THAT'S RIGHT THEY DENIED MY SURGERY.  I JUST GOT HOME FROM WORK AND READ THE LETTER AND MY INSURANCE COMPANY SAYS NO.  I CAN NOT STOP CRYING WHAT IS THE NEXT THING TO DO.  I WAS SO CLOSE. I WANTED IT SO BAD MY HEART IS BROKEN I FEEL AS IF I WILL NEVER HAVE IT NOW FOR REAL.  WHY COULD THEY NOT SEE MY NEED FOR IT NOT COSMETICALLY BUT PHYSICALLY.  IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING AND DO IT FAST I AM IN TROUBLE.  I HAVE TO STOP TYPING NOW BECAUSE I CAN NOT SEE PASS THE TEARS.  MAYBE I WILL COME BACK LATER.  UNTIL NEXT TIME I BLOG
BE BLESSED
CHERYL

I meant the surgeon today and I must say that I was impressed.  He was very compassionate about my desire to have the surgery.  he even took the time to talk to my father about the procedure and answer any questions that he had.  That really made me feel good.  Because like most men although my dad went with me to the dr's office he did not go back but when the dr asked  if anyone was with me and I said my dad he had the nurse to go get him.  I did not know how nervous my father was until the dr started talking and explaining things to him and then he seemed to calm down a lot.  I really liked that.  My dad is 65 and with my mom dying last year I guess that would make my dad nervous about me having any kind of surgery. I never even thought about it from that aspect.  
So now they submit all of my paperwork to the insurance company and wait to see if I am approved.  They say that should take 2 weeks but usually not that long.  Once I am approved then I come back in to decide when I want to have the surgery and it is a wrap from there.  I am still thinking that I will have the surgery around the middle of May.  I think that it would be kind of neat to have it around Mother's Day.  That would be my present to myself and to my mom.  Keep me in your prayers.
Until I Blog Again
Cheryl

I got a call from the Doctor's office today and I go to meet with the surgeon on next  Wednesday.  That is all that I had left to do so I am sure that I will be given a surgery date then.  I am nervous , excited, scared, and everything else all rolled up in to one.  This is really real and this time it is going to really happen.  It seems as if I have waited so long.  Because of everything else I have been through I am not going to truly believe it until I wake up from the surgery and they tell me that it was a success.  I have thanked God all day long today for real.  I know that my mommy is looking down smiling on me and this process that I am about to go through.  
I went to a support group meeting tonight and it was very helpful.  There was one lady in there who had the surgery 7 years ago and she was very honest about the different things she had went through.  Then there was another lady in there who had the surgery in Novemeber of last year and has lost 150 pounds.   I was so impressed with both of them.  I can't wait until I am the one with the story of loss.  Although I have to drive 1 hour and 1/2 to the meeting it is so worth it.  They are trying to start one that will be about 45 minutes away so hopefully when they do I can get closer but who knows I have met some really nice people in the other one so maybe I will continue to go to that one and maybe even both.  Well I am going to bed now I just wanted to share my good news.  
Keep me in your prayers and thoughts.
Much love until next time I blog.

I am so excited.  No I still have not had my meeting with my surgeon and still have not heard anything back from the Dr's office since the last time I blogged( Iwill call the office on Monday).  I am so excited because tomorrow is Easter and what that reprents to me is new beginnings.  I am excited about the new beginning that I will start with this surgery.  I am daily preparing my mind to go where my body will soon follow.  It is truly a new beginning. God has given me an new chance to get it right.  Some people live a life time searching and searching and never get that.  So if for nothing else for that I am truly greatful.  I know that I am walking into my miracle so I am willing to take it as slow as need be because when I get there I know that it will truly be amazing and I will totally appreciate it.

I hope that all of you have a wonderful Easter in wahat ever you do and embrace the new beginning that God has given each and every one of you!!

Until next blog much love your way!!!

OMG... IT REALLY WAS NOT THAT BAD.  IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE SO IT WAS NOT THAT HOT AND A NICE BREEZE WAS COMING OFF THE WATER.  I DID NOT AMKE THE WHOLE TRAIL BUT I DID HALF OF IT WHICH IS 1 1/2 MILES SO I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF.  IT WAS PROBABLY HARDER THE LAST 1/2 MILE BUT I MADE IT.  ONE DAY I AM GOING TO BE ABLE TO RUN THAT WHOLE TRAIL WITHOUT STOPPING THAT IS A PERSONAL GOAL THAT I HAVE SET FOR MYSELF.  I WILL DO IT THAT I AM SURE OF.

I just got back in from church and now I am going to the State Park up the street from me they have just added a nature trail and i am going to walk it.  I am not sure how long it is but I am going to walk it anyway.  i hope that all of you are having a good Sunday and I will holler at you when I get back home.