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And I am SO LOVING it... and loving LIFE!
This surgery  was the best decision I have ever made. 

Today is  my anniversary and I am down 130 lbs. I have a little ways to go - another 20 lbs or so, but I am not sweating it.  I am enjoying the "normalcy" of my new life and am losing ever so slowly now. And it feels comfortable.  I don't feel rushed... all my medical problems are gone,

>I can eat anything, but I don't. I eat small amounts of a healthy diet and I don't feel deprived.
>I am within normal sizes (10-14 depending on cut) from my previously 26-28 size.
>My husband still tells me how happy HE is that I did this.
>I am not morbidly obese for the first time in 40 years- it is still NEW to me!
>I don't feel like I am going to die young, anymore.
>My doctor's office used me in an article. Twice!
>It still freaks me out to see my jeans in the laundry - they are so SMALL! I don't recognize them - I think they are my sons' or husband's.

I try to plan my meals around protein first, veggies next and carbs/fats last. I try to make it a lifestyle rather than a "diet". Doesn't always work - but it does most of the time. I don't count anymore - I just try to "feel". If I think I haven't had enough protein I'll add a shake into my meals.If I find I am not losing (or, gasp, gain a lb or so) I get back to a more vigilant eating pattern (and count protein/calories)

I was asked what I found difficult during my first year...Emotionally, it was the learning to trust myself and this tool. It took me 6 months or so to start trusting this tool. I felt that even though the weight was coming off, I would gain it all back - plus some more. Especially, if I didn't keep constant vigil over carb counts.  It has been a long haul (and I still have issues) but I have had to learn to trust this tool and myself. I am finally getting comfortable that I can act/feel normal and I will not mushroom back up to 300+ lbs.

Functionally, it is hard to learn new habits - not inhaling my food (I still do sometimes...just can't inhale as MUCH anymore)... taking the time to sit and savor my meal is still difficult - I was used to scarf & go.  Also, It is hard to phase in  "bad" (carbs, sweets, fats) foods.. the indulging in an occasional dessert or bread -without feeling guilty or like a failure. Oops... I ventured into the emotional again... I guess they are closely linked.

What did help during the early days after surgery, was visualizing where I would be in 6 months, in 12 months... what it would feel like to shop in the regular woman's section, what size I would be in the summer.... motivation and realization are wonderful.

So all you newbies, take heart.. It works!
>I feel an abundance of good HEALTH!

Stick to the plan, have patience, you will reach a new and improved "normal" lifestyle and YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT!!!!

I'm in ONE-derland! for the first time in 30 years... (since before I met my husband). (this means I am under 200 lbs)

WOW... this is getting fun. I haven't been weighing myself that often, perhaps every 10 days or so and was surprised to find that I lost 5 lbs. I am at 196.5 lbs. And my BMI is 30.8 - ALMOST out of obese range - perhaps next week I'll get there.

I was driving myself mad weighing in twice a day and tracking every 1/2 lb. up and down. So instead, I have been trying to "live life", to enjoy this new lifestyle rather than act like I am in re-hab or on a "diet". And it is still working. I love it.

My weight loss has slowed some (not the usual 2-3 lbs per week) but I think that is a result of exercise or perhaps a natural progression. It seems that when you get closer to your goal, you body comes to a natural slowing & halt.  I have 26.5 lbs to goal. 

Well, it has been 7 months and I am officially down 100 Lbs!...I can't say enough good things about this surgery and the changes in my life. 

Thank goodness for medical technology - My life has been saved.

I have not been the fastest loser but it has been steady and comfortable - no problems to date.  

I did go thru a 2 week stall, but I had just started back at the gym at a rigorous exercise level and figure I was gaining muscle.  I have more energy than I have had in my entire life... am at pre- surgery exercise levels (they used to call me a "warrior" at the gym).

 All my physical issues have disappeared (except high cholesterol which we now know is genetic).

Another 40 lbs to go... and it is now more of a lifestyle than a procedure. I still have to make the right choices and lead a healthy life... but it is so much easier now.   "40 lbs." sounds so do-able now, no longer a huge moutnainto climb - almost normal.

I love this tool.

Some thoughts:
I wake up excited and happy, every day, because I have had this surgery and I know that I am in the middle of this wonderful dream-come-true.

All my medical complaints from over the last 25 years are melting away. Like a miracle cure. Forever.

Twice (each time after taking photos and was horrified at the pictures) I fell in a funk... lesson learned: digitals are unforgiving in recording all details, lumps, bumps, dimples and bulges. I will be realistic - actual shots will never meet expectations.

Lots of great WOWs coming my way every day. The best of all , is the change (for the great) with my husband and me. Lots of pressure felt for years, and years have been lifted off our selves, and each other. Liberating.

Some grand moments:
>When my husband says that he loves  this surgery because now he can get his arms around me.
>When my sister says, "You look wonderful! Dad is going to cry when he sees you."
>Six (6!) people (strangers & acquaintances) have stopped me to tell me that I smell good. Huh... That has never happened before - especially at 300+ lbs.
> I have startled myself when I  looked down, because I didn't recognize my own arm or leg or thigh.
>My husband says the HE is sooo lucky that I had this surgery... Hmmmm.
>I bought 2 nightgowns in the "regular" women's dept. - OK, they are large and stretchy, but it is so nice to have more options.
>I wake up in the morning and the very first thing I do is run my hands down my body to feel the changes... reaffirm this dream come true. I feel joy before I even open my eyes- I used to do the very same thing when I was pregnant for both my boys.
> the grins (and shock) from my boys when they came home for Thanksgiving.
>the impromptu hugs I get from friends whom I meet in the stores when they see me. Some don't say anything... just hug.  It feels good.
>Feeling so good with my new hairdo...finally! - it wasn't really the hair all those years- it was me!
>I have stopped SNORING Completely!
> My Wedding dress is too big.... Poof! 25 years have melted away.
>My doctor is paying for professional "after" photos (and I still have 60 lbs to lose). AND he is using MY pictures on his website beacuse they came out GREAT!
>I am ransacking my husband & kids' closets for clothes. I even accidently put my son's jeans on and ran out of the house. They felt "funny" so ran back in and changed them.
>Buying size 18W jeans in the regular size department, for the first time in 20 years and not even going into the plus size department.

The "WOWs" are endless... and daily. It is like the honeymoon never ends. 7 months and still strong.

         50 lbs. GONE- FOREVER!  I am down to the lowest weight that I can remember for 10 years or longer. Anything less than 260 was so far back I can’t remember what it was like. I was 230 at age 25 – that was 25 years ago! It is like entering a strange but beautiful park … I proceed slowly but an anxious to get there.

          I FEEL GREAT! I don’t hurt anymore. I can walk freely – no huffing & puffing.  We sometimes walk for an hour on the beach and it feels good. Even with 600-800 calories per day, I have more energy. I walk tall and straight – my sister says “strutting”. Well, OK. 
          OBESITY – it sounds almost like” Oh, Beast”. I am running away from it, actually, more like limping,  with my ruined knee, sore back and sensitive feet – all due to enduring heavy weight. I feel better than I look. I feel like I am glowing, but when I see pictures of myself I am devastated – self image is so deceiving. Maybe that is how I survive 40+ years of obesity. The best numbers I have ever seen… My blood pressure: 128/70. I love this tool. 
           EATING – hmmm, I feel liberated. Last night I didn’t feel like cooking, having a meal… my body did not require it… I had yogurt & nuts. While traveling I order what I WANT, without guilt, because I only have a few bites. I want to qualify that with the fact that I do order “good” foods. That is how my tastes have turned. I do not crave the heavy, fatty foods anymore – they do not give me pleasure. I hope this is forever.
          DINING Out – is a pleasure now. I will always order a meal, and give away what I don’t eat  (or ring it home) and I RELAX… no angst about what I should order, or that it is not enough, or that I am “cheating” – The sitting around the table is more for socialization than for shoveling food.

          SHOPPING – what fun! Whether it is clearance rack shopping, sorting clothes given to me by my sister  or just going thru my own closet, it is a wonderful feeling… purging and not having that nagging thought of “Should I keep it? In case I gain weight?” And  all those clothes I bought for “when I finally lose weight”, have come and gone. When I can get it on, it doesn’t fit right, or is just not my taste anymore or is TOO BIG!! My favorite purchases so far (clearance rack finds):

Long sleeve T shirt - $.60

Shorts = $.49

Pants - $1.49

Bathing suits - $2.99/ea. (I bought 7 all different sizes, from 18 to 12 – some were originally $49.95)

       I bought a pair of boots (not x-large calf, but regular old Doc Martens slouch boots – I’ve always wanted them – Oh, an clearance on the internet $49)

       Oh, and I have discovered, Dress for Success – and am donating all my appropriate clothing to this organization. They have a special request out for plus size clothing and I hope to organize my support group folks into doing the same.

          FEAR is everpresent. When I wake up, the first thing I do is feel my new hip bones and realize it is not a dream. I weigh myself first thing in the  morning and despair if I have gained a lb and celebrate if I have lost another pound. I know it is wrong – I spend too much time on the scale … but I cannot help it yet. I have yet to relax and trust this tool fully. And to trust myself fully to make the right choices, to continue losing weight and to remain healthy. What if I hit a stall? – permanently. What if my body adapts and just stops responding? What  if I lose control and start eating the wrong choices?  I had / have a problem with obesity. Time will tell.

          HONEYMOON PHASE is still present. I am giddy with happiness (just about every day). I am not at all timid about telling anybody about my surgery and I find that friends and acquaintances want to know about it, ask many questions and more often than not have thought about surgery. I try to educate, offer resources and share my experience. It takes the mystique away  - brings the reality of WLS from the television screen into their lives.

         And I tell everyone the best part about this surgery is my husband’s huge SMILE, every time he looks at me. And the plans we are making for the future which will be better because of this.

A friend asked me if I was happy with my decision to have this surgery. It set me to thinking...

I really love my sleeve. I really love it. There is an element of "normalcy"... I feel fine.... I just fill up after about 4 oz of food. I like that I do not have the problems associated with RNY - dumping, nutritional issues, strictures...
With the sleeve, I have to be careful what I eat (calories and protein first & calcium) -make good food choices. But isn't that what we all should be doing, regardless of having WLS or not? I did not do this so that I can eat anything I want for the rest of my life. It just makes it easier to do what I should be doing.. taking responsibility for myself. Much easier.

But I have "pigged out" a couple of times (6 potato chips) - It won't kill me - perhaps slow my weight loss down a little bit. Fortunately, my new stomach gives me signals as to why I should not do this. and, I am more aware of my bad habits, which allows me to discover, "Why?"

The best part: I feel more and more normal each day and this huge weight of fear and guilt has been lifted from my shoulders - I have a future that is not obeseity based. I feel infinitely lighter - emotionally. I am a happier, better person. I am elated.

So far, Great!

    I am 12 days post op and am feeling fine!  My wounds and resized stomach feel absolutely natural. I need to start exercising again, and don’t have all the energy that I used to (probably because of shortage of protein), - but am working on that.

Hey, I posted pictures of the family on my profile!

BUT, there are some stumbling blocks…

    This weekend, feeling so well, social and somewhat normal,  I have been wrestling with old eating habits… eating too much of the good things. I find I can eat anything, if I chew it well.  I made several lasagnas for the family (all lowfat and one vegetable)  and overate – I felt more guilty than uncomfortable. But overeating at this point means a whole 6 oz (not two whole plates!!) AND, not following the protein first/vegetables next/calorie counting diet that I have been following. I was surprised at how much I could eat.  but I didn’t have much pasta or turkey meat – lots of soggy veggies.  
   So I didn’t lose any lbs this weekend, but am back at work and back on track.  Am doing shakes & yogurt today and back to lean protein &  veg meals after that. I still find, the denser the food (ie. meats) the less I can get down (@ 2-3 oz).

   Had some friends over for lunch & swimming and I had some chips & salsa and felt guilty – til I realized that all I had were 10 small chips which is about ½ a serving listed on the bag. Had lots of hot salsa and it tasted good!

   At one point, I was hot and chugged down several mouthfuls of water (just like the old days), and boy, was I sorry. I ended up  “burping” all that water back up and out. I don’t know what came over me – I guess I just wasn’t focused on the “new” me and habits that must be formed.

   AND, I have had my period for the last 8 days. I was irregular before surgery (pre-menopausal) and got it 4 days after  surgery (everyone on this board said I would). It is not a heavy one, but just constant…am getting tired of it.

The Plus side:

   My husband has been wonderful… he is SO happy I had this surgery and all he does is smile. He is so patient and understanding (but he’s getting pissed about the period thing J).

   I cleaned out my closet this weekend, of all the clothes that were on the big side and are now definitely  big and all the other clothes & shoes that I hate, or are not comfortable. I found 3 pairs of pants that fit me only after losing 20 lbs! And once I got it all organized, I saw that all my shoes/boots/sandals were black (except for my orange sneakers). I couldn’t believe it! Soooo, off I went to the shoe store and for $20 got a pair of orange sandals (with a huge flower) and bright green slip-ons (thank goodness for back-to-school sales).

 9 day Post op Checkup:

   My spleen is fine! Biopsy came back negative for all those bad things. Diagnosis is “lymphangioma” or “benign tumor” which mean it is a messed up blood vessel lying on  the surface of my spleen. Much like those raised blood red mole or cluster of moles you might see on someone’s skin – except inside the body. Dr. wants me to lose 50-60 lbs and he will get a cat scan – just to make sure nothing has happened.

  Funny, when we talked about my sleeve, he kept asking me, “how long it had been since the surgery?” – He thought I was acting like I was a month out, but it was only a week. He even cleared me to go swimming!! Altogether, we were both very pleased with everything.

Well, each day seems to get better and better. Am hopeful to get at least 60gr of protein in and most of my liquid in today. But it is hard work!

Let's start with Wed (Surgery): Hospital called as we were traveling to as my Dr's first surgery was a no-show (can you imagine that?) and they wanted to pull me up. All was good as I ended up going in about 2 hrs. earlier.  I was surprisingly not nervous going in. I slept like a bay the night before. I think I was a little arrogant that I would have the easiest time, recover the fastest, etc. Well, I am humbly glad to report that I am normal and yes, this is surgery and don't forget it!
I remember waking up in recovery - SWEATING! - I could feel the water running off me... I heard the nurses say that my temp was ok, but I could still tell that I was soaked thru. Odd. They weren't all running around screaming, so I figured that I was OK.
  Surgery was 1.5 hrs. (Dr. said it went perfectly) and recovery another 2.0 hrs. and was brought to my room about 5pm.  Had the most wonderful guy nurse (Billy) who was so caring and gentle... I still can't visualize him (my eyes were closed a lot) but I can still feel him. I hope to thank him one day. I was up and walking (the LONG hallway) by 8:30 pm and then the nauseau started. I had a LOT of that the first 3 days. And my back hurt more than anything, I think from not moving for 8 straight hours. Ended up taking painkiller only at night (to sleep) for the first 3 nights and then nothing more. Very nice hospital, my husband was able to sleep in my room the first night (private and pull out couch). Just knowing he was there was such a comfort. 

Day 2 & 3 post-op: I could have gone home the next day, but I didn't have the nauseau under control and was getting no liquids in me, so I stayed a second night. Unfortunately, you are tethered to the bed by both ankles, right hand, left hand and by all the monitors to the chest.  AND, you are required to get up to walk and go the bathroom and by that time, changing position was necessary. With the frustration of waiting, all the machines beeping, and having to pee like an elephant (I constantly had that darn saline drip into my IV) I was mad to go home the 3rd day. Nauseau subsided enough to allow me to drink water and tea and I found that walking an burping helped immensely.  Was glad to get home and sleep in my own bed.

Day 4 and Today: Each day is better and better. I find it easier to drink (larger sips) and am finding which foods are my friends (yogurt, eggbeaters and cottage cheese) and which to avoid (chicken breast can't be puree'd enough - could only get .5 oz down). Sleeping quite weel - no medications and am phasing in vitamins again. Took me an hour to eat 8 oz of yogurt (with protein powder) which would have taken me 3 minutes to eat pre-op.  I love it.

So far: am surprised at the lack of specific pain.... I felt the water, and later foods,  go down thru my stomach, staple by staple, but that has gotten better. And my stab wounds are just not painful at all... I am more sore from lack of movement. And, more importantly, a little whoozy feeling because of anesthesia (I retain it for months) and I think, lack of protein. Which I am working on now. In the  hospital I thought I would never be able to ingest anything more than water... but each day is significantly better. Oh, and no gas and no drain!!!

There is always something: While poking around inside of me (I asked my Dr. to have  look at my organs while he was in there) he saw two large lesions on my spleen. He took a photo of it - looks like red caviar -not the smooth finish it should have. He biopsied it and will see next week. He said he is not at all worried, that it was limited to just that area, that it was the spleen which not  susceptible  to grevious diseases (cancer, etc) and that none of my other tests or checkups had indicated any problems. So it is wait and see. I just don't want to  have major surgery agian so soon.

LAST: I have lost 6 lbs since surgery and a total of 16 since the end of June. And I am under 300 lbs for the first time in several years. Oooh-Hoo!

   >My date has finally arrived. I stopped drinking liquids at 11 pm last night and am trying to busy myself until I leave for the hospital. Surgery is at 2:50 today.  My husband  keeps asking me if I am "all right", in fact everyone I know is scared silly for me  -and can't figure out why I am so happy.  Hmmm, maybe they know something I don't.
   >I had my pre-op testing at hospital and appointment with Dr. Beltre on Monday. We talked for 45 minutes... he explained in detail the surgery again (he loves this surgery) and feels it will be the "gold standard" in a few years. I asked my many questions - he said that he NEVER gets this technical with any other patients (I did my homework).
   >I was pleased to find that I have lost 10 lbs!  He did not put me on any special diet - I just followed the pre-op suggestions that the hospital provided in the nutrition class (proteins, low carb, low fat) and I practiced measuring, pacing myself and c-h-e-w-i-n-g,
   >His curious stance on WLS that he shared with me - Dr. Beltre feels the bariatric professional community is going to back off on the RNY as the standard as they are discovering that it is basically "restrictive" and not as malabsorptive as once thought (they don't bypass enough intestines to be effective). It does help with diabetes, but the malabsorptive elements are just not evident. This makes the sleeve gastrectomy "more bang for you buck" as you have as much restriction and far less risk and long term complications. And, he insists that the results are neck and neck with bypass patients.
   >He mentioned that years ago, when he was training, the "old guy" (surgeon training him) felt that bypass is restrictive only. There are true malabsoprtive surgeries and bypasses were not in the same class. It's funny, that at that time, Dr. Beltre dismissed him as an old guy who knew nothing, but has found over the years, that he agrees with him. 
   >Soooo, to make the long story longer, I am so glad I chose this surgery and now I am finally getting on with it!   
   >See you on the flip side.  :)

At first I was disappointed that it was so far away... my tentative was June 10th and I have all my testing completed but July 18th is actually a good date. 

It works well with my family's schedules and is after my son's orientation for college (I really didn't want to miss that). 

AND, I can party like hell when I go to Key West next weekend! (girls' weekend only). Well, I won't overdo it, but at least I'll be more relaxed than if I were having surgery the following week.

It gives me more time to research, prepare and get ready for one of the most important events in my life.

It is a Wednesday - a great way to celebrate  huMp Day.

It has a nice balance --    07 / 18 / 07

It is MY date, maybe I'll start celebrating that day instead of my birthday (which I am not too fond of - Dec 13th).