Tickie

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Ok, ok!  It has been a LONG time since I posted anything here & a LOT has changed in my life since my last post!!!

So, here are the highlights:

• Jan 2014 - My 20 year common-law relationship ended (long story, no need to explain here)
• May 2014 - I put the house on the market
• Aug 2014 - Didn't get any offers on the house so decided to keep it
• Oct 2014 - I went on my 1st roller coaster ride since I was 18 + a ton of other rides & coasters at Canada's Wonderland!
• Feb 2015 - I got a 2nd job as a superintendent at an old mansion that was converted into 11 apartments - in Barrie!!
• Feb 2015 - I moved to Barrie with Drake, my youngest son!! Now I'm in the same city as my sister for the 1st time in over 20yrs! :)
• Feb 2015 - I gave up my trailer (my brother now has my lot)
• Apr 2015 - Found a tenant to rent my house
• Apr 2015 - 1st surgical consult (not a fan of this guy)
• Apr 2015 - Finally started painting again! Not as often as I would like, but its a start!
• May 2015 - Approved to transfer the house mortgage into my name only! Now for the legal part.

As for my weight - I have stabilized in the 170's & want to go to the next step - remove all this excess, sagging skin!!!  I have been working my butt off at the gym, doing yoga, walking/jogging, etc but the skin will never go back to what it was before I abused it for so many years!  I hate to admit it, but honestly, I am jealous of the other people that I know who have gone through the same surgery & lost a ton of weight but do not have the same amount of skin hanging from their bodies.  They look fantastic & I am so happy for them!  For the most part, I think I look good...dressed, but I absolutly hate my "front butt"!  I am still embarrassed & uncomfortable wearing some clothes & still am unable to dress the way I would like because of it. Also, on a more graphic note, it gets in the way when I'm doing yoga!  When you have to literally lift your stomach up & move it out of the way so you can do certain yoga poses, there's a problem! And, if it's not tightly confined, it makes embarrassing clapping noises when running!  While I don't mind the applause for my efforts, it's just not the same when it's coming from my stomach!  LOL
So, it's time to do something about it.

I have a surgical consult on Thurs to discuss my options.  I originally thought I was just going to have the "apron" removed but after talking with the last surgeon (who I did not like at all), I have decided that it will not be enough to get the results I am looking for.  After years of being overweight, 4 kids & lack of exercise, my stomach muscles have taken a beating & need some tightening.  I can feel how hard the muscles are in areas (under the extra skin) but also know that no amount of exercise alone is going to fix it.

So, although these surgeries are not covered, I am willing to pay financially in addition to the price I have already paid with my health & all the years I missed out on being able to do what I want.  It's not just how I look, but how I feel in my new body.  I have worked SO hard to get this far & it is discouraging when I look in the mirror & not see all the work I have done in the reflection staring back at me. I feel like I'm wearing one of those fat suits you see in the movies. This "stuff" is not part of ME.

There have been times in the past where I thought "maybe I should put some weight back on to fill out the sagging skin so I don't look like a shar pei" but I give my head a good shake & remind myself of just how far I have come, what I have been through to get here & what it was like before!

Am I being superficial?  Sometimes I think I am, but after all these years of putting everyone else 1st - I think it's time to do this for ME! :D  Superficial or not!

I AM WORTH IT!  I will apply for financing & get the surgery!! :)

Now to decide - tummy tuck, breast list, thigh lift, arms....or lower body lift?  The surgeon I am meeting on Thurs does all but the body lift, so I want his opinion.  The last surgeon gave me some good information, even though he was a jerk, but I am taking it as lessons learned. Right now I am leaning towards the tummy tuck, breast lift & thighs but will see what he has to say.

I will post an update (if I remember, I know - I have not been keeping this up to date) after my appointment!

Keep Smiling! :D

Instead of posting the same thing on 2 different blogs, I am only going to update my other one here - http://tickiewillett.blog.com

Please feel free to stop by anytime!  :)

Keep Smiling! 
Tickie

Once again, it's been a while since I posted anything.  I'm sitting here with my leg up as I hurt it yesterday (slipped on the wet deck, did the splits & somehow landed on my knee & tailbone pulling the muscles in my inner thigh) and figured I have the time....

So, my ulcer seemed to have been healed but I was still taking the pantaloc to reduce the stomach acids, like the surgeon recommended.  I stopped taking them a few weeks ago & then last week I started getting the chest pains again.  ok, I admit it, a summer of drinking mostly caesars & a coffee every other day probably wasn't the best idea with a healing ulcer but...
So I started taking the panteloc again a couple days later (after realizing that's what the pain was from) and feel better again.  I also stopped drinking alcohol & coffee.  I will continue this until the panteloc prescription is gone (about another week) & see how it goes from there.  I really don't want to get scoped again!  My own fault....blah!

As for my weight - I have stabilized around 175lbs.  I go up & down 3-5lbs but nothing more.  I was down to 168lbs once, but not since then.  Granted, I have not been going to the gym or on my walks since spring.  We quit the gym in the spring thinking we would do more outdoor activities instead.  We did for the most part, swimming, bike riding, etc but we bought a trailer & ended up doing more drinking than exercising! LOL  While I enjoyed the summer at the trailer, it's over now & I have to start getting back into walking & join the gym again.

I'm not sure I want to lose much more weight tho.  I'm comfortable with my size, just not the excess skin.  I think if the skin was gone I would probably weigh around 150lbs! 

Well, that's about it for my update today.  I will try to post something again soon.
Keep Smiling!

I know it's been a while since my last post but thought I should add something about what I've been going through lately.

So, the "chest pains" that I have been suffering through for the last 8 months or so is due to an ulcer.  My family doctor ran all sorts of tests but came up with nothing so he referred me back to the bariatric clinic as he thought it may have something to do with my bypass surgery.
I met with the surgeon & as soon as I explained my symptoms he said I have an ulcer.  He then asked me what I was doing for the pain & when I told him ibuprofen he got mad.  He said "ibuprofen is kryptonite" & I should not take it for the rest of my life.  

Ok, I admit that I misunderstood - I thought it was only until I healed after surgery, not for the rest of my life.  I was taking a LOT of them before my hysterectomy due to the amount of pain I was in but didn't think anything about it.
The reason why the ibuprofen started to only last about 2hrs instead of 4 was because it was helping at 1st while making the ulcer worse at the same time.  So between taking the ibuprofen & the amount of stress I have been under for the past 8-9 months, I gave myself an ulcer!  Oh joy!

I had the scope done last week & it was only a small one (thankfully).  I now have to take these huge pills 4 times a day on an empty stomach (1hr before or 2-3hrs after eating - not an easy task when I can't take them with my calcium & tend to eat every 2-3hrs) BUT it's MUCH better than surgery so I will take it!  I also have to continue taking the pantaloc that I was taking for my acid reflux before they fixed my herniated hiatus during my surgery but now I am to take it twice a day instead of once to keep the stomach acids in check while the ulcer heals.
So, just a warning to anyone out there - most of you probably already know this but I'm sure there are others that misunderstood as I did - DO NOT TAKE IBUPROFEN!!

An another note, I seem to have hit another stall in my weightloss.  I have stopped going to the gym as I thought with the nicer weather I would be going outside for walks again & doing a lot of gardening, etc.  Well, the gardening has been happening, but not as often as I was going to the gym and I have not been going on my walks as planned.
I was down to 172 lbs a few weeks ago but have gone back up to 178 lbs as of this morning.  Depressing but still under my original goal. 

I have noticed that my portion sizes have been slowly increasing too, so I'm going to go back to measuring my portions again & being very mindful of what I eat as well as going to nightly walks again (provided it's not raining).  I'm still debating going back to the gym again, too.  I will wait & see if these other changes help or not before forking out more money to the gym.

On a positive note, I have noticed the excess skin in slowly shrinking more - especially in my thighs & neck!   I was hoping my thighs would have been a little "prettier" for this summer but maybe by next summer I won't have to wear shorts over my bathing suit to hide them.

I have said in the past that I didn't want to have the skin removal surgery but after living with it like this, I can totally understand why so many people want it.  I am going to wait another year before I decide.  However, I AM going to start saving for breast implants!  I miss my breasts!!!  I had the most depressing shopping day ever last week - trying on bras!  I'm smaller now than I have been since grade 9!!  Some people seem to think that's a good thing but I always loved having large breasts (so did my husband) and I would like them back!!!  If there was a way to do it without implants, I would be all over it but for now....I am saving my pennies!!  :)

I did it!!!  I finally hit my goal of 180lbs today!!  I feel fantastic!!

Over the past couple months I have been fluctuating up & down within the 180s & it's been a little frustrating but I just kept thinking, "it will happen, don't worry".  And finally it did! 

I don't think I have stopped losing weight, it just really slowed down around the 1 year mark, like everyone talks about.

Here are my results that I have been tracking over this journey:

Weight
Starting - 342.5 lbs
Today - 180 lbs
Total Loss = 162.5 lbs!!

BMI
Starting - 56.8
Today - 30
Total Loss = 26.8 points

Chest
Starting - 55.5 in
Today - 41 in
Total Loss = 14.5 inches

Waist
Starting - 55.3 in
Today - 37 in
Total Loss = 18.3 inches

Hips
Starting - 68.1 in
Today - 47 in
Total Loss = 21.1 inches

I can honestly say at 1st I didn't think I would ever get here but with the love & support of my family & friends, I have made what I thought impossible, possible.

Thank you to everyone for being so supportive! 
Keep Smiling!!!  (I will be all day today)
Tickie

I added the 1yr after shots to my photo album!  I've come a long way, baby!! 

I can't believe it's been a year since my RNY surgery!  I feel great (except for this nasty cold)!  I had to rescheule my 1yr followup appointment to Feb 9, 2012 due to this cold, so I will post those results after that.

My stats as of this morning:
Weight:  189 lbs (down from 342.5 lbs) = 153.5 lbs lost!  
Only 9 lbs from my goal weight (which will change once I get there).
BMI: 31.4 (down from 56.8) = 25.4 lost
Waist: 39 in (down from 55.3 in) = 16.3 in lost
Hips: 48.5 in (down from 68.1 in) = 19.6 in lost

My weight loss has really slowed down since my hysterectomy but I will attribute that to the lack of exercise (we haven't been back to the gym since then) & eating too much crap over the holidays!

I am back on track with my meals & started my protein shakes again.  I noticed my hair has been thinning a bit again.  Ugh!
I have discovered that I'm ok with ground beef now as long as it's extra lean & well drained.  However, I still cannot eat ribs without dumping (happened 2 nights ago).  Thank fully I only had a few mouthfuls & stopped before it got too bad.

I still have to listen to my stomach when I eat something I'm not sure of.  If it starts to gurggle a lot, then I know I can't eat anymore or risk dumping.  It's like my own built in alarm system! LOL
Unfortunately it doesn't work with all foods that I shouldn't eat  - like my downfall, carbs!   I ate way too many carbs over the holidays & think that's one of the main reasons for the lack of weight loss over the past 2 months.

Oh well, I am back on track & can't wait to get back to the gym.  Once this horrible cold is gone we will be right back at it, 3 times a week!  :)

People always ask me if I regret getting it done due to the limitations & dumping.  I tell everyone - even with the complications of the internal bleeding after the surgery & needing the 2nd surgery to correct it...even with the dumping...I don't miss any food items as much as I thought I would before the surgery....I would do it again in a heartbeat! 

My only regret is not doing it sooner! 

Last year was all about recovery/healing & this year will be all about finding balance & sticking to my healthier routine! 

I'm in a very happy place & look forward to a wonderful year!  :)

I'm back down to 192lbs today as I have gone back to eating better than I was during the holidays!  I'm still snacking a little more than I should on some of the left over treats that are lying around.  Hopefully they will all be gone soon & the temptations will be gone.

I know that my obsession with food has not been cured by the WLS so I have to be conscious of what I eat, all the time.  My energy levels are getting better with the improved eating habits as well.  Instead of snacking on junk at night, I have been having a bowl of cereal with some All Bran Buds added.  I bought some more frozen, cooked shrimp today & will go back to snacking on them at night.  High protein, no fat, no cooking & only takes a few minutes to thaw!  What could be better? 

We are planning on going back to the gym this week, hopefully tomorrow night.  I will be starting slow, probably just the treadmill then some arm & leg lifts, but definitely no crunches yet.  I'm going to call the GYN tomorrow to see if I can go in the pool yet.  I still had a few stitches left when I saw him last week, so I'm not sure.  If I can, maybe I will just do some laps in the pool instead.  ;)

I have changed my avatar to a pic of my husband & I that was taken on New Year's Day.  He has been SO wonderful & supportive though both of these surgeries!  I don't know what I would have done without him.   I wish everyone had someone like him to support them through their weightloss journey.  It makes all the difference!

Yes...the holidays have been bad for my weightloss!  Over the holidays I ate a LOT more carbs than I normally do.  I am going back to my protein 1st rule & carbs only if I have room after the fruit or veggies.  That makes a HUGE difference in how I feel during the day & also on the scale!
Also, since I had my hysterectomy, I have not gone to the gym or done any exercising so that's not helping either.  I have been bouncing around between 191lbs back up to 196lbs (today).  
I'm not that worried about it because I know what's caused this weight gain & now that New Year's is almost over, we can get back into our regular routines & I will start to lose the weight again.
I have been given a couple more weeks off to recover from the surgery becasue I'm just so tired all the time.  I think its the combo of the 2 surgeries in the same year & all the holiday activities, I'm just drained!
Today I have the boys coming over again for a big ham dinner & to take some family photos before Josh goes back up to college tomorrow.
THEN we can get back into the swing of things! LOL
I'm really looking forward to going back to the gym!
I hope everyone has a happy & healthy New Year!

I finally beat another one of my goals - to weigh less than my husband!    Today I am back to 208lbs & have been losing again for the past week, which is awesome after gaining some.

At my 9mnth checkup they said that my iron is still low (going to another GYN next week to discuss a hysterectomy to deal with the extremely heavy periods & fibroid tumour) so that should help.  They said when I go back for my 1yr checkup we will discuss it further, based on what happens with the GYN.  I'm to continue taking all my other supplements, too (vitamin A, zinc, iron 2X a day as well as the Materna & Caltrate +).

They agreed that the weight gain was probably due to the workouts & since I have lowered the weight on the machines back down & started doing more reps instead, the weight is going in the right direction again!

I've also noticed that I'm starting to lose more hair again!  Yikes!  That's my own fault.  I haven't been paying enough attention to the amount of protein I'm getting each day & realized that it probably has not been enough.  So I have started tracking everything I eat on the Calorie Count website & am making sure to get enough.  I don't want to go through that again!

I tell everyone there are only 2 things that I miss since losing the weight  - my long hair & my boobs!  LOL  The hair will grow back but the boobs...well, I guess I will start saving for the surgery now! LOL  I have always had big boobs & each time I have to buy a smaller bra I get depressed.  It's silly really, but true.  Oh well, my husband still loves them, even if they are under my arms when I'm on my back! j/k - sorta!  LOL