made it through the holidays with a small loss!!

Jan 06, 2009

well its been quite a while since i have posted anything, but lets see a run down on what lifes been like for me in my new self. Been pretty busy actually, semi more active of a dating life and life in general. I have my ups and downs like anyone else, sometimes i get scared when i look in the mirror and see the old me rather than the new me. Currently i weigh 212 lbs, and from 445 i suppose i am pretty darn proud of that, i can safely say i havent weighed this since the 8th grade, and I am 33 years old, how weird is that, to be a weight i havent been in 20 years, crazy i tell ya. I actively go to curves and I love the show the biggest loser and plan to have my last 25lbs gone by the time this season ends (it starts tonight, cant wait!!) i always get on my eliptical while i watch the show, makes me feel more connected to it..hahaha, i cant sit here and lie and say i am on a strictly healthy diet, however when i grocery shop for me, its all chicken and vegetables and healthy things, but i do have a tendency to over indulge semi often..haha but somehow i lost about 4 lbs over the holidays, dont ask me how that happened cuz i have no idea, but i wasnt going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I am not someone who can only eat 2 bites and i am full by any means, i can eat a pretty normal healthy sized portion of food so now it feels more like me losing the weight rather than the surgery and i havent figured out if that is a good thing or a bad thing, i still have to battle the same demons and try my hardest to make the right decisions at least 90% of the time. I get on the scale everyday which i know i shouldnt do but i figure its a good habit to be in cuz then 10 lbs cant just sneak up on you, i can deal with it all on a pound to pound basis, and so far i havent gained anything so thats good. I am only trying to reach about 185-190 then it will just be the game of maintenance for me, due to all the excess skin i have i dont want to get much smaller than that only cuz if the wonderful day that i could have skin removed ever did come (which is highly unlikely) believe me i have a good 40 lbs of it, so then i would be right where i wanted to be, but i would still rather have hanging gross skin, than it to be expanded by fat. Well i hope everyone had a wonderful new year, and i wish you all the best!!! if i acheive my goal of the 25lbs, better believe i will be blogging back!!

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