Unconventional_Beauty

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Blah. Blah blah blah blah blah.  

Translation:
Last night's Weight Watcher's meeting.  

Yeah. I had to join.  All for my insurance company.  6 mos of unsuccessful dieting. As I sat there with my Week 1 booklets, listening to other members' weekly weight loss totals of 3/4lbs, 1/2 lbs, 0 lbs, I grew more and more discouraged.  Right there in the booklet, it says most weight loss is only temporary.  TEMPORARY??? I'm having to pay to follow a program that's only TEMPORARY???  And that's what I'm the most angry about - my insurance is requiring me to do all this stupid shit and now, all the bills are rolling in...  THEY'RE NOT PAYING FOR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell??? Why am I paying my premiums?  Why do I have to stick the rules of my contract, but they can screw me around any which way they please????

I am so angry, frustrated, bitter, and disappointed right now.  This feels insurmountable.

Well I am officially hiking up the first major mountain.  My insurance wants me to document 6 months of unsuccessful dieting.  I am pissed but what can I do?  Perhaps this is for the best because surgery would bring about so many major life changes.  I'm not sure if I can handle too many more emotional upheavels right now.  I'm so heartbroken over watching my sweet pea kitty die... and now my great grandmother is dying, too.  So perhaps God is slowing me down to help me work through my grief.

So, I guess I have to accept this.  It's tough because I sooo want to move on to a better, thinner life. But at least with acceptance comes peace.  I'll also have more time to save money for the inevitable expenses that will quickly follow surgery.  So Thursday I am visiting my PCP to begin documentation and Saturday I'll attend the first Weight Watchers meeting.

Damn diets. Damn insurance companies.

Yesterday my dear little kitty, Miette, left us after 15 years of laughter and companionship.  She was the joy of my life and my constant companion.  I will miss our routine and our hundreds of little moments together that brought so much happiness.

Sweet baby, I pray that you are running around in the fields of heaven somewhere, Champion of the foil ball playoffs!  May you dine eternally on fresh shrimp and never suffer from such stomach pain again.

Love you love you love,
Mommy

Ah, crud.  Two weeks ago, I realized I forgot to schedule my "Exercise Evaluation"...  looking over the list of insurance requirements for surgery approval, I noticed this last little line lingering at the bottom of the letter. Crap crap crap.  Another frickin delay. So I had to spend a week calling my PCP every day until she gave me a referral to a Physical Therapist.  A week!!!! How aggravating!

But I finally was scheduled with a local PT who specializes in weight loss.  ... just spent an hour in her office listening to her speech on exercise to "increase pulmonary reserve prior to and post surgery."  She also tried to talk me out of RNY, telling me if I stopped eating fruit, added 6 cups of veggies to my diet, and exercised an hour a day, I'd lose weight.

I was like, "Lady, I've tried it all.  And if 6 cups of veggies and exercise were all I needed to lose 160 lbs, I wouldn't be going for surgery."  I am really frustrated that I had to pay $100 for an eval to listen to someone tell me to just try "one more diet" and to go to the gym.  I DO go to the gym and have been doing so for the last four damn years.    ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!  (Insert frustrated expletive here!)  @!%&!!! Insurance Companies!!!!!!!  !!&&*@!! diets!!!

BUT... that should be the last piece of paperwork for surgery approval. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just waiting for her official written evaluation to arrive in the mail and then the whole pile will be faxed off to Barix.

In the meantime, I am so sick of being fat and squishing myself into my office chair every day.  I am compiling a list of things I can't wait to experience once I lose weight for good. I'll post them soon.

Love,
Heather

Today, I completed the final piece of required information for insurance approval.  Over the last few weeks, I've been proactive in getting blood tests, visiting my PCP for a physical, and completing a psych exam.  

The blood tests came back with fantastic results!  My cholesterol is 173 and my thyroid, glucose, and sodium are all well-within normal, healthy levels.  The only scary reading was my blood pressure.  As the pounds have crept on, my blood pressure keeps rising.  Right now, I'm on the cusp of the highest levels for the "normal" range... which means a few more pounds and I'm into the danger zone.  Yikes!!

On a good note, my psych eval came back with flying colors.  The psychologist reviewed the results with me and said he's writing me a clear recommendation for my insurance company, stating that I'm an ideal candidate for WLS/.  Yippee!

I'm still struggling with worries that I'm taking too drastic a measure.  I think I'm most afraid of the "no exit" of the surgery.  It's not like a diet that makes me sick or that I can't stick to.  With a diet, I can always opt-out.  With surgery it's permanent.  Forever.  No going back. Yikes!

So I will continue to pray for God's peace and direction.  Tomorrow I'm sending in all my paperwork to Barix Clinics patient care coordinators for insurance approval.

Well, here I am, creating my official WLS profile and looking down the road of insurance approval.  I have taken so many courageous steps up to this point and I am very proud of my progress.  Just asking for help, reaching out, posting on this website, and seeking information is a major development for me, the Queen of "I Can Do It Myself!" HA!

In December, I attended a general surgery consultation at Barix Clinics in Ypsilanti, MI.  Several people attended the informational gathering.  Afterwards, I met one-on-one with Dr. David Kam, my assigned surgeon.  He said I was an ideal candidate for laprascopic RNY and that I wouldn't have to lose much weight before surgery.  Whew and yippee!

I'm excited about Barix Clinics because they help coordinate care on so many levels.  I'm not having to face a long insurance battle on my own, because they do all the leg work!   They even offer free nutrition consultation, something many insurance companies require for WLS approval.

This week I saw my PCP for initial blood tests, history, physical, and consultation.  She will write a letter of recommendation this week to accompany my lab results.  I also spoke with the Barix Clinics nutrionist for the required consultation.

The final piece required for approval is my psych eval (hope I'm not uncovered as a closet ax murderer! HA!).  

I'll check back and let you know about my journey soon.