Waterwench
I am a 37-year-old registered nurse at a Portland hospital, and am a single parent of three sons. My oldest and youngest sons have Autism Spectrum Disorder, but both Nate and Asher are still amazing and terrific kids. They are 16, 13, and 7. I feel extremely blessed to have all my children.
Obesity has only been present in the last 2 generations of my family, usually among the women. It's been shored up by our unhealthy, eat-your-emotions kind of behavior towards food for the last 60 years or so. This is the generation that I have determined will no longer be a slave to those kinds of inappropriate coping strategies. My boys make mostly healthy food choices, have occasional treats without being emotionally attached to any particular kind of food, and eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. The positive changes I have made--the decrease in fast food coupled with more home-cooking, more veggies, more whole grain choices and lean protein sources--have shaped our palates and made us feel better than ever!
I was 292 lbs. at my heaviest, just before surgery. That's a BMI of 52, with greater than 60% body fat. I am only 5 foot 2 inches tall, and though I have a large frame, my body just could not support that weight. Those 161 pounds dragged me down and made me feel physically horrible and wiped out all the time. I always loved who I am--but I hated my dependence on food for coping and my seeming powerlessness in the face of those cravings and compulsions. But my health problems, which included hypertension and chronic back and foot pain, were preventing me from fully enjoying my life.
My son Brodie used to recommend all kinds of obesity cures that he saw on TV--I later learned it was because some rotten kids in his class had ridiculed me for being so fat. Seeing his reaction to this made me realize that more was at stake than MY health, after all. Of course, those boys were punished as soon as their parents got wind of their unfortunate remarks, but Brodie still remembers how angry and embarrassed he was by their comments. I felt bad for my son, and angry about our society's prejudices against the obese.
I considered surgery for several years before going ahead with it. The final go-ahead happened in January, 2007 when my insurance began covering the Roux-en-Y procedure. I jumped on it so fast my head spun! I knew this was the sign I was waiting for. Eight weeks later, I went in for surgery, and came away with no complications after a laparascopic procedure. A year later, the cravings and compulsions again began to assert themselves as my system adapted and was able to withstand more processed foods and sugars. THAT was when I had to start and maintain the hard mental work it took to deconstruct WHY I thought I NEEDED the candy/chocolate/chips/donuts, etc. in order to be happy and to survive. It has taken a lot to overcome those demons, and I now know it will be a lifelong battle. But that's okay. Maintenance is a way of life. :)
About Me
Before & After
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