wheezie

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Well, I'm between month two and three.  This has been a most interesting month, learning more and more about how much and what I can and cannot eat. 
I am losing about 3lb a week constistantly which is great and long may it continue!  I've struggled more with emotional issues this month.  I think it finally hit me that I have done something to my body that is permanent and I have to say, although I know I had to have it done and I'm pleased with the result, I'm pretty ashamed and disgusted with myself that I let it get to this point and I was unable to control my eating.

I think I have come to some peace and I'm moving on. 

I hit the 218 mark on the scales this morning and for the first time, I really felt like I am going to make it.  It made me smile.

I never ever feel any hunger, which is great and have to remind myself to eat during the day when i'm work.  I often have a late breakfast and then skip lunch and have a dinner and then something later in the evening.  this works well for me because I'm an evening grazer.  I've also disciplined myself to drink two glasses of water before i allow myself a mug of decaf tea.  This really motivates me to drink water because I love my tea sooooo much.

Next week I start two classes of aerobics a week and I want to swim once a week and do resistance work in the gym once a week.  I'm feeling really motivated at the moment and long may it continue!

I'm introducing mushies these past two weeks. Not very sucessfully, I might add. Some cause me to have stomach cramps and some I eat successfully the day before, I can't stomach the day after, very weird.

I've decided to do a low carb, sugar and fat protein shake for breakfast. Then try some regular lunch and dinner and if I'm not able to get much protein in, then I will have a shake at night to bump up my numbers.

I had a bit of a stall last week but it seems to have broken the past couple of days. I'm not freaking out about numbers.

I've had loads of compliments this week such as 'your skin looks fantastic, have you been on holiday' and 'you've lost so much weight, what diet have you been on'

Who asks the question depends on what answer I give, mostly I've been honest and told them what I've done. Most people are genuinely interested in WLS and how it works and why I did it etc.

I went to a party last night, I didnt dance because I still have a little pain in my left side and the left hand side of my back has been painful since surgery. I drank water all evening and I didn't find anything I could eat and in the end opened up a sandwich and had the filling. I just had a shake when I got home.

It was the first time I realised that the surgery is going to have a major impact on my socialising in the short term (hopefully!) and in the run up to Christmas as well........

I have a party next week and a meal the week after. I will just have a bite of a few things on my plate. I'm hoping I can tolerate food a bit better by then.

I had my sleeve done on the 28th October. I flew out on the 26th, we were allowed a last meal that night. I had a three course meal and a gin and tonic. It was lovely after doing the strict two week diet.

The next day we were picked up from our hotel and taken to the clinic. We spent all day having tests, chest xray, endoscopy, sonograph, bloods, heart, psych etc etc. They found I was low in potassium and so put me on a drip that night to try to bring it up before the surgery.

I went into surgery the next day and the potassium was still low. Apparently, when they inflated my stomach my heart started racing so they had to deflate and do the best they could!!

I woke up later with them taking me into my room, I had pain in my shoulder and stomach. I was unable to get up because I was attached to monitors, blood pressure, heart, etc. Later that night, the nurses helped me sit up for a short while. They rubbed lotion into my back and were like angels!!

I was taken down to have an xray to check for leaks the next day. I tried to walk but felt vomity and unwell so got a wheelchair ride instead. I had loads of blood tests every day and my arms looked terrible.

I was in ICU attached to monitors until Thursday when they let me return to my room. What a relief!!

I flew back to the UK the next day with my husband. I don't know what I would have done without him because I was in a bit of pain and couldn't carry my bags. It was a really uncomfortable journey home.

I have lost 12lbs in 12 days which is fab and really encouraging.

I'm still on liquids and looking forward to mushies next week.

I started this yesterday, so far, so good. But why is it that when you are on a 'diet' all you can think about is food, food, food?

I went to bed last night thinking about it and woke up this morning thinking about it.......aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.....it's like a madness!!

Anyway, good news is I lost two pounds overnight somehow which is a great encouragement.

Well, not long to go now, I'm off to Cyprus for two weeks to stay in my friends villa (on the Greek side!). I'm looking forward to that. I'm even looking forward to starting my liver shrinking diet just after I get back.......it means progress towards my surgery. I'm looking forward to being a normal size for the first time in 23 years, to wearing lovely clothes and to being healthier and more active.

I need to keep positive, nearly on the home stretch.

I was walking through the market yesterday on the way to work, I had a look at some of the stalls with all their pretty summer clothes and tops.  I was thinking to myself 'next year I will be able to buy these...' and started blubbing...........I just feel so emotional at the moment.

I have to wait til October to have my surgery because my husband is taking his degree finals at the beginning of October and I didn't want him to be concentrating on /worrying about me when he needs to do well.

It is such a long time to wait though and it means I go though three months of the huge ups (excitement, I'm doing the right thing for me) and the huge downs (I'm scared witless and can't beleive what I am going to do to my body...) for such a long time.

Hopefully I will survive emotionally and mentally intact.........

What a busy day.  It is sooooo hot here in London and sticky.  I've been rushing around all day doing loads of things, housework, changing some theatre tickets for my mum.

I've been trying hard with the diet this week but I've slipped a bit as the week has gone on.  What has been good is......I've started drinking at least two litres of water at work each afternoon, sometimes I've managed more.

I've been taking a multi vitamin, 3mg of biotin and milk thistle (my doctor said this would cleanse the liver before surgery) and I feel marvellous.

Last night was very hot.  Our neighbours teenage daughter had a group of her friends out front chatting til about 3am.  They weren't being a nuisance, just chatting but it kept me awake because I was already boiling hot.

I got into a right fizz, thinking about all the things that could go wrong with my surgery and managed to get very anxious indeed.  I must stop!!!

I think it was made worse because one of my friends has taken the news that I am to have weight loss surgery very badly.  She too is very overweight and cannot have surgery because of serious heart problems.  I value her friendship and so told her as soon as I had made a decision and then she just cut me off.

It has bothered me more than I care to say.  I value her as my friend and don't want to lose her over this.  I saw her today and we had a chat about general things.  I'm hoping this has broken the ice and she will come round. 

Anyway.  I'm going to try to be a good girl and my goal is 1lb a week loss using good old fashioned diet and will power.  Surely I can manage this!!!

Watch this space.

Louise

I heard back today from Cosmetic Bliss that they have received my deposit for the surgery and its all systems go for October. 

I went to Turkey two weeks ago for a vacation with my mum and aunt.  I decided that it would be best to tell my mum face to face (in a restaurant half way through a meal) and the conversation went like this.........

Me: 'mum.....I've got something to tell you.....I don't want you to freak out, shriek or panic but in October, I'm having weight loss surgery....'

Mum: '(sharp intake of breath...) oh no!  Isn't that a bit drastic'

Me:  'Mother, drastic times call for drastic measures....'

Actually, she took it very well, she asked loads of questions and by the following day, she was ok with it.  I'm glad I did it when she was relaxed (on vacation!) and had drunk half a bottle of wine!!

I started taking vitamins and biotin last week but went and got a bigger dose of biotin today at the health food shop because I don't want to lose my hair too much.  I'm getting myself as prepared as I can in the next twelve weeks. 

VSG HERE I COME....................................