Jasmin C.

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My update. I promise! I left the plugs that came with my digital cam at my moms house.. so I need t grab it soon so I can post some pics.

Jazz

OH MY!! I promised not to turn into one of those people who never updated their profile and I did.. but only for a brief stint. Life has been moving and changing in more ways that I ever could dream or imagine. I weighed myself last Sunday and I was down 92lbs.. I am approaching my 5th month. I started off in February at 364 and I am now down to 272. I will update and add pics this weeked.. I promise. I can tell you one thing. I appreciate this tool.. however.. the mental aspect is overwhelming. I told myself that I wouldnt change and that I would be the same person.. let me tell you.. u will never remain the same after something like this. My confidence has grown, my aggression (for the positive things) has increased. I am fucking up in some areas.. but all in all.. this is one hell of a roller coaster. I go to my surgeons office on July 11th. My dad is coming to town on 07/03 for the holiday.. he hasnt seen me since December. My surgery was in February. he has seen me since on web cam but there is nothing like seeing this transformation live and in the flesh. I am loving living on my own. I am now a one woman operation. I love being independant. 

Men are losing their f*cking minds.. and I am too because the attention is a bit overwhelming. At first I indulged in the attention, soaking up the compliments and flirting very hard back.. because I have never experienced anything like this before.. however... it is getting a little weird. I made a vow to stay away from love and men atleast til fall.. cuz I was losing focus on some things. I have noticed another thing.. I am a drinker now. The thing is that I would consume one or two glasses of champagne a year. Now I have a cocktail every night. Just one.. I plan on taking steps to be careful with this so it doesn't turn into a full blown habit.  I got a new tattoo last week. I have shooting stars on my lower leg going down to my foot. I will take plenty of pictures and upload them this weekend on my post. I promise to update alot more often. 
Luv U All,
Jazz 

Greetings All,

I am not sure if I should credit WLS to a new found me.. but I know for sure it has to do with alot of changes in my life and not just the physical ones. I am noticing a difference in me. I am more of a go-getter. I  dont let oppurtunities and people pass me up as much. I am more vibrant and happier. I moved into my new place on 05/01/08. I have been running around so much that I  haven't had the oppurtunity  to truly  spend more than 15 hours at best there. My mom was surprised that I actually moved. She was happy.. there was a bit of drama  the first day  but all of that has been resolved. My mom pretty much laid out my kitchen for me (everything is stainless steel). The saying is true that when you take one step God takes two. Family has came together and helped me in more ways than one. I never even asked for half of the things I receieved and I truly feel blessed. My mom and I are much better and she stalks me now..LOL.. she calls me 3 or 4 times a day and wants me to call her when I make it in the house at night (i know this is just her being  concerned so it doesn't bother me as much). 

My weight loss is coming along. From 02/12/08  to  now 05/06/08, I am 81 or 80 pounds down, depending on what the scale feels like on a particular day..LOL.Speaking of scales, I went ahead and left the expensive one I  bought at my my moms home. I dont have one where I am and I am fully content on that.. what people say is true.. it will drive you mad. I just wanted to stop by for an update . I will update on 05/12( that will be my 3 month surgiversary)

Love U All,
Jazz

Greetings,

This post is definitely uplifiting and more positive than the previous one. I GOT THE APARTMENT!! I will be moving in on 05/05. I am so HAPPY!! I can't wait yall. I will update later.

So I guess I am finally here.. the point where you hit a road bump with something in your life.. you experience great sadness and frustration in an area and you just feel so bad.. what I would usually do is buy something really greasy or sweet to stuff down my throat and temporarily numb the pain. This week has been a very hectic one and a frustrating one. I am trying to get my place and I believe the agent is bullshitting me.. everyday its the same thing and she has not followed up by telling me Yay or Nay.. I love the place but I am thinking that maybe this is not Gods plan for me.. I will give her until Monday.. then I will keep it moving. Steven (the new guy) is pissing me off.. I am pissing myself off as well( with being overly emotional and not as happy lately).. hell everything is pissing me off. I interviewed for a part time job and the place called me back and made an offer (which was a slap in the damn face). I declined gracefully but inside I was very angry. They basicallly wasted  my time. I just want to have a sense of control within certain areas of my life. I wish at times there was 1 day out of the month where I could have a break from this surgery and just self medicate myself the best way I know how to (eating).. I wish I could just eat a Big Mac with extra sauce, some supersized fries ( loaded with ketchup), 2 apple pies crushed up in a caramel sundae with extra caramel on the top and bottom, and then have a big ass cup of Vodka and Orange juice. I just want to hide from my issues, this is what I am accustomed to doing. I know that I cant do it anymore. Yes, to all the  know-it-alls. I know the best way of dealing with issues is to confront them head on. I have no choice now.. I dont have anything to grant me that temporary numbness or fake resolve. I have been listening to this song by Chaka Khan entitled Angel. I will post the lyrics below. It is making me cry and it helps with a release. I am moreso just frustrated right now because things arent going my way with the move, part time employment, all of it. I know it will get better.
Jazz

Chaka Khan - Angel lyrics

Troubled little angel Inconsistent... flying blind most of the time Drama queen Preening and untanglin' Feathers in her wings Captured by her dreams Desperately she sings Needy little baby Open up your heart Don't you be afraid to feel Needy little baby Hidin' deep inside Don't you know your love can heal Troubled little angel Inconsistent Flying blind most of the time Don't know who to be [yeah] Always rearranging the wreckage of her life Ever holding tight to the hope that she'll be free Needy little baby Open up your eyes Don't you be afraid to feel Needy little baby Hidin' deep inside Don't you know your love can heal I'm talking to you angel Angel Deep inside of me I'm talking to you angel Angel One day you'll be free Angel [Angel] Angel [Angel] Deep inside of me [inside... inside] Talking to you angel [Angel] Angle [Angel] You'll be free

Greetings ,

So much has been going on with me. Lets see where to start. The stall has said Adios and now the scale is finally moving. My anger with the scale was horrid for the past 3 weeks.. I stepped on today and what did it read ???? How about I am 295.6... WOW. I am out of the 300's. I have been over 300 lbs since I was 18 years old. This kind of blew me back. The weird part about all of it.. but I guess is also a good thing, is that I started my period yesterday.. so far it is coming like clockwork (which it never did before) I went for my two month check up with my surgeon and she told me (surgical nurse) that the weightloss is causing this. I am so happy that I dont have to take medication any longer to aide Mother Nature every month.. the body is truly something amazing. 

My home life is going haywire. Before the weightloss even with my age I was turning into a hermit. I was so miserable that all I would do was work and come home and eat between those periods. I am my fathers only child. My mom has 2, me (26) and my lil sis (13)... yes there is quite a gap. My mom has a crazy work schedule so since I was always home.. helping out keeping an eye on her (my sis) was never a problem. Well.. lately I have been partying, spending some nights out and just doing shit I guess someone my age with no kids would do. My mom called me a few weeks ago and basically told me that my sis was my responsibility and that I could get the f*ck out her house since I didnt wanna help her.. this was like crazy to me.. first off.. it's not my fault you chose to have a child later in life.. I have no kids.. I work.. I pay u and I watch your child all the time (atleast that was the old me..lol) It has been very bad here.. so I am doing something I have proscrastinated on.. I am moving. I am truly excited about this.. nervous that I may sink.. but I guess those feelings are normal. Peace is priceless.. and besides I am a slave to no one. I have been going through various emotions and have distanced myself from alot of people because I have been a wreck. I saw a place that I truly liked. A one bedroom with a livng room, seperate dining room, eat in kitchen and 1.5 baths.. alot of things are included with it and it is in my price range. I submitted the application today and dropped off the fee they require. Please guys, if you pray.. pray for me that this is mine. The lady who was with me at the viewing got my check stub and employment verification information and she said she would let me know within 5 days. I have been slowly packing my shit here.. and she hasnt noticed(mom). I dont have furniture or anything.. half of my clothes are too damn big..lol.. so packing is quite easy. I will just feel better and more relieved once this goal (my own place) comes to pass. I have an interview Monday for a part time job... a chick is trying to make it happen.

My love life is hilarious right now. The guy I met the day before my birthday and I are still getting along ok. I dont think he is" the one".. but  I am just having fun right now. I have given my phone number out and received so many phone numbers within this last month from the 
opposite sex that it is a bit humorous. I like the attention.. I am an Aries..LOL.. but.. the attention is different now.. I am still a big girl.. but the kind of guys that are hollering at me I truly dont think would have been hollering at me when I was a bigger girl.. u get my drift ? I love you all and will update soon.. keep me in your prayers!

Good Night,
Jazzy

Wow.. 8 weeks.. amazing!! I can honestly say that I am not looking back.. no regrets so far and I am feeling great! I am still at a stall.. I am down 63 lbs since surgery. I am currently at 301. The scale has been moving at a few ounces a day or then up a pound down a pound. I am grateful for the loss and I just cant wait to break out of the 300's and move on to twoterville...lol. Lets take a quick journey via pics.

This is me surgery day (before bed time.. sorry for the cleavage shot..lol)



This is me now 2 months later



Do You see a difference ?? I do in those cheeks

Okay well for an update on my last entry. The guy (Steven) and I have been on about 6 dates since we met. Things are going alot better than expected. I was honest with him and told him about the surgery. As soon as the words passed my mouth and he saw a few of my before pics he asked to see my belly .. I am used to this with people.. kinda how strangers are amazed at a pregnant womans belly.. people wanna see the scars.. he found it hard to believe that I had such a serious surgery with minimal incisions. He seems to be amazed each time we go out and the bill is so cheap....LOL... I can only eat so much.. cant drink liquor or have desserts.. he actually shares his soup and a very small portion with me at times. He gets a kick out of it.

Now as far as my weight loss I am fluctuating betweent 299.8 and 302.. the scale has been jumping. I also know that lately my pouch has been pretty grouchy. I am trying alot of new things per my nutritionist to know what I can tolerate. I want to be officially 299.0 in four days on my two month surgiversary. I am trying my best not to get so flustered because of this stall.. I am just focusing on the good. I am happy with the results so far. I know that stalls are normal. I have energy and a new pep in my step. I am grateful for this tool and how well it has been to me so far. I will update in a few days on my 2 month surgiversary.

Jazz 

Today I turned 26. I am at work now in a cute top I got on sale for $3 and some jeans I bought two years ago that I was never able to fit. I am officially down 62 pounds. Two more pounds before I get into twoterville. God is good. Hmmm.. well I guess I have a story to share. I met someone (a guy) yesterday and he is taking me out today. The men are starting to come out in bigger droves..LOL. He is a cutie pie and I look forward to our date later this evening. I am posed with a slight problem. he wanted to take me out for dinner and drinks. I am six weeks out and sometimes I feel iffy at restaurants.. I can go but food is still hit or miss.... also no liquor for a year per my nut. I havent told him about my surgery. i told him that liquor doesnt agree with me. He seems to be a talker so I can probably go out to eat and maybe he wont notice that I barely will touch my food. Hmmm..LOL.. Pics coming this weekend and an update.

Jazzy

Greetings All,

So.. I finally made it back in the office and wow!! The compliments were pouring in. One of my co-workers even walked right past me on the street while entering the building to my job. I did a 360 with everything. I went to the beauty supply and found a really cute (full) afro puff.. a look I have never worn before.  I was doing the urban soul look. complete with my Chuck Taylors..lol. One of my co-workers told me that I was glowing.. and I probably was from the big bright ass smile on my face...lol... I felt so good. It surprised me that I didnt get as tired as I thought. I was doing about 2 naps a day last week so I was a bit worried about the adjustment. Maybe it was the adrenaline.. but I was feeling full of energy. The day pretty much flew by and I know tomorrow it is going to be back to business as usual. I had two personal wow moments that I want to share... one is the fact that I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). I usually use birth control pills to bring on my cycle every month. I made a decision (a bit risky) but hell I took it and it worked. I decided that I wasnt going to take those pills anymore and let nature take it's place. I know with the weight loss your body does its own thing and I was expecting to have a period by maybe June or July but it surprised me and came on by itself and left in a timely fashion, about a week in total which is the norm for me even while being on the pill. I used to bleed for months on end without relief but this time it came and went.. so we shall see what happens next month. Now on to the next one.. I work downtown Chicago and I usually take the Orange line to my job.. the steps to get to the platform are stupid crazy unbelivable, is this legal type shit..LOL.. I walked up those stairs for the first time ever without feeling like Jesus was sending angels to come get me..LOL.. I was slightly tired after making it to the platform.. but I wasnt gasping for breath for 5 minutes after the trip which is my norm. I know this sounds cheesey.. but I have to do like others and say " I love my RNY"...lol.. I truly do.. this tool is amazing. I will holller at u guys when I shake these last  4 lbs off and get into two-terville.... I haven't been under 300LBS since.. Hmm.. I dont know. When I was 18 I was 312.. so this is an accomplishment for me.

Good Night,
Jazzy