Wrenegade

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* Plan meals ahead and shop using.... a LIST!  

I read labels carefully. I know the calories/carbs of everything I buy (http://www.calorieking.com). During the day, I eat low carb, high-protein bars (Quest Nutrition, 20gr protein) which are a bit expensive (I buy thru Amazon), but I actually like them. This saves time, and keeps me out of the fast-food joints at lunch. I don't do protein shakes anymore because I don't like to drink my calories.

For dinners, it's mostly steamed fish, skinless grilled chicken or veggie burger. Salads and plenty of veggies of course, but no starches and very few grains. FYI: "Miracle Noodles" rock! (I subscribe thru amazon.com) No sweets, other than fruits (mostly berries, no bananas!) An occasional drizzle of olive oil, maybe. Diet soda is back on my list, since I found out the "drinking soda will stretch your pouch" thing is a myth. Yes, and I use.... a straw! Hasn't stretched my pouch at all! 

I never drink with meals and I stop eating before I feel full. When we go out, I’ll order an appetizer or side salad only, or just share my husband’s meal. My BMR is only 1080 cals/day, so I eat often, but lightly. I'm lucky, because my appetite has not returned to anything like it used to be!

* Keep it moving!

Exercise is a priority in my life and I look forward to my daily walk. I find that keeping a regular routine makes things easier - no decisions about when, if or what. It's too easy to fall off that wagon. I do it now, because it's on the LIST!! I do it just for me.

Beyond the food and exercise stuff, my home has benefited by my new outlook as well. It is clean, organized and in control. I watch much less TV these days; I've got better things to do! My garden is weed-free, my laundry is done, the dogs are walked and fed on time. I lay tomorrow's clothes out the night before... yep, because it's on my LIST!  I was the queen of procrastination, now I just DO it.

Isn’t it amazing how one change can lead to another, and another? This can be a very good thing, or not - depending on which direction one is headed.

If anyone gets anything out of this, and I hope someone will....BE the change you want to see...  JUST DO IT! 

I can't believe it's been over two years since my last blog entry! Time flies when you are busy living your life... and I have been living a busier, happier and far better life since WLS.

In just over 3 months, I will reach my third "surgiversary", and things could not be better. I have lost ALL the weight I expected to - and more!! And, thanks to the new, healthy habits I adopted (and have kept) after surgery, I am finally *keeping it off*.

I look and feel much younger, I can buy clothes anywhere I like - and look fab in them. Even skinny jeans! I can sit anywhere I like, and cross my legs (and ankles too!) I can polish my own toenails... hell, I can see body parts I haven't seen in years!

My weight-related health problems are gone. I no longer need meds for diabetes, high blood pressure, or high cholesterol. Despite my high-protein, low carb lifestyle, my cholesterol numbers are perfect! Take THAT, FDA!  The arthritis is still there, always will be, but it is much improved -- especially in my knees. Stairs are no longer an issue.

Today, I weigh 103 pounds. At 5' 7.5" that is a bit low on the charts - but I am comfortable at this weight. My body fat is down to 14%, due to exercise. To strengthen my bones (I have Osteopenia in my hips) my prescribed activities are primarily weight-bearing.  I started out with Nordic Walking (using 2 poles) which was great. Now I do Zumba and Belly Dancing for fun. These days I speed walk - daily - 5 to 7 miles @ 4.5 mph. I am trying to hit 5 mph, but this old body is not cooperating the way I would like it to. No worries. I'll get there in time.

Time! I like to think about all the extra time WLS has given me. Imagine the good years this has added to my life! The surgeon and nutritionist gave me the tools, but *I* made the necessary changes. Now it is all down to the choices I make every day. WLS gave me a green light. My body is my vehicle; I am the driver, not a passenger. As long as I follow the map (nutrition plan + exercise) and make all the right turns (good food decisions), I won't get lost along the way.

MY STATS:

I'm 61 years old.  Married 21 years (3rd + last time!) to a patient and tolerant man. I’m an only child of an only child, mother of one, grandmother to one. I am a graphic designer by profession, an avid reader and an equally avid gardener. I love classic movies, classic rock, art and mystery books. I ride my own motorcycle. I have two opinionated Terrier dogs and I breed and sell Zebra finches. I live in the mid-west and am a (politically disappointed) middle of the road, ex-hippie type. Just your typical, somewhat over-educated, ageing worker bee - with a colorful past.

BEFORE: 265 pounds, US size 26, BMI of 41 and tired all the time 

AFTER: 103 pounds, US size 2, BMI of 16 and full of energy (and loose skin!)

I was fat, and miserable about it, for most of my adult life. Either "on another diet" or gaining it all back, all the time. It has taken me over three years of total dedication to change all that. I am not going back there, ever!

MY PLAN GOING FORWARD: STAY ORGANIZED

* Plan ahead, plan a lot. Make a LIST... lots of lists!  

I am a bit OCD, especially about tracking foods. Gotta be! I weigh and measure all foods. I pre-portion and zip-bag goodies and such, and label each bag with calorie/carb info. I log EVERYTHING I eat and drink on the LoseIt website, and wear a FitBit 24/7. I weigh myself daily, and my Withings scale automatically uploads my weight, BMI + fat % directly via wifi to the LoseIt and FitBit websites. All three websites are free. The FitBit was just $99, and worth its weight in gold! The scale was $160, and is very accurate and easy to use. I cannot recommend this combination of tools/accountability highly enough! It keeps me on track and lets me know exactly what my body needs every day. No cheating. No denial. Awesome! My husband does all this too, and has also lost weight

So now it's June and just 2 days to my 6 month surgiversary. After feeling like the backside of an old dog for several months after surgery, I am now feeling better than I have in quite a while. Yay!

I'm down nearly 100 pounds from my highest weight (January 2009) and just 16 pounds from goal. My BMI is just .3 above normal range!

I have very few food issues now - which is both a good thing and a bad thing. I was kinda counting on the "dumping" thing to help me get over my sweet tooth. Sadly for me, almost nothing makes me dump. I can eat cake, bread, cookies, fruit, candy -- you name it -- with very little effect (in small portions, of course). One thing that does seem to set me off is coffee creamer, even sugar free. Go figure! Still having issues with meats, but I find that grinding it up, or chopping it small, makes it more tolerable. The small amount of food it takes to "fill me up" still amazes me! I'm a cheap date -- an appetizer and one drink is all it takes!

I have a new shape and a new wardrobe to match. My husband said he has trouble finding me in the store because I don't look anything like my old self anymore. Some people have told me I am getting "almost too thin". LOL! Not bloody likely! I have lots of loose skin these days, but the wrinkles compliment my balding head, so it's all good. As long as I keep my clothes on and my head covered, I'm a babe!

On a high note - I am off ALL medications. Diabetes? Gone! High Blood Pressure? Not me! High Cholesterol? Well, yeah.... I've still got that - but Doc says that is probably inherited rather than weight or diet related. But even so, no pills for now :) I still have joint pains and that rotten heel spur, but I get around pretty good considering....

I am so grateful for my RNY! I feel like I have a new chance at life. There are aspects of the surgery, and life afterwards, that are not easy - and there are certain foods (Panda Express Orange Chicken) and drinks (Diet Pepsi) that I will always miss - but what an equitable trade this has been so far!

I hope to post some photos soon.

　

It's almost spring and time for new beginnings. My question is - where is mine??

I have lost close to 75 pounds from my highest weight, with only about 35 more to reach goal. I thought by now I would be doing the happy dance - but I feel crummy.

EXERCISE:

Pain is my constant companion. I have lost much of my "honeymoon" period to it. My knees are still trashed and now I have developed Plantar Faciitis (heel spurs) from walking. Walking! LOL

My surgeon says I need to exercise. Silly man. Walk? Heel spurs! Pedal a bike? Knee pain! Swim? Shoulder pain!

So I have been trying to walk in the pool. It does take some of the stress off my feet and is a very good workout. The down side is BIG blisters on the bottom of my feet from the rough concrete. I tried wearing aqua shoes, but the extra weight and drag bothered my knees... so, back in the recliner!

EATING:

I can't get enough protein. Meat just will NOT go down. I've heaved up chicken too many times to eat it again - ever. Other meats hurt my pouch so much that I don't want to even try. I live on protein bars and greek yogurt (ick!) and crackers. As a result, I am very tired all the time and look and feel like hell.

My hair, which was already fine and thin, is falling out at an alarming rate. Nearly bald on top, I have ordered a wig - had to! I bruise easily, my nails are paper thin and hurt, I have dark, puffy circles under my eyes. My skin looks like crushed silk draped over cow bones. I look pale, old and tired. My mind is foggy, I'm depressed (ya think?) and my career is suffering. Whoopie!

At least I wear a slightly smaller size now.... not as small as everyone else reports at the same weight, but still - smaller. I've lost 75 pounds but I am down just three sizes. From a size 26 at 260 pounds, at 184 I am just now wearing size 20. How it is that others can jam into a size 16 at 200+ pounds I cannot fathom.

I hope things will start to get better soon. Bicycling, swimming and walking are out, so I just bought a new Honda Silverwing for fun. Sure, no exercise will be involved, but at least I can get some air -- and sun, if it ever comes out for me again.

Bleech.

Well, I got what I wanted. Yep. Sure did. As Mr. Spock once said on Star Trek, "The having is often not so pleasant a thing as the wanting."

My surgery went well. Not too much pain with the lovely morphine button clutched in my clammy hand. The private room I was promised turned out to be a revolving door of various roommates, which ticked me off no end. Impossible to get any real sleep.

The first day I was mostly out of it, which made the IV fluid drip a godsend. I don't think I drank anything that day, except for a particularily noxious radio opaque fluid to check for leaks. NOT my first beverage of choice, I can tell you. Started me gagging, and gave me four days of uncontrollable runs.

My bad day was day three. I had been directed to swallow several ground up medications every day; diabetic meds, blood pressure meds, Zoloft. There is a very good reason these bitter compounds come in PILLS! I did my best, but by day three my chest felt on fire and the throwing up started. Misery incorporated. I refused any more ground up pills. The puking stopped.

I came home on day 4 still sporting a blood-filled JP drain, which I have to empty (and measure the output) several times a day. Ew. Smelly and gross. Also painful. Oh yes.... and my Doctor has no time to see me next week for the surgical follow up appointment. Am I supposed to walk around with this awful drain for two weeks??? My plan is to show up at his office and just sit there, talking to his prospective patients, until they fit me in.

I've decided I will go on Insulin if I have to until I can either swallow pills again or don't need diabetic meds anymore (my dream result!) And the Zoloft will just have to take a hike. My BP pills - well, not sure about those. Right now I'm not taking anything except for the Lovenox injection every day, which are not as bad as I thought they would be. And vitamins.

Unfortunately for me, hunger is still an issue. A BIG issue. I woke up from surgery hungry. It is not just head hunger, it is gnawing, growling, full on starvation. This is not making me happy, because I can't eat enough to stop the pain.

Enough whining for today. Maybe this is all part of the "hormonal and emotional changes" we hear about. Apparently, they make you hungry as well as grumpy.

Oh, and I've lost 4 pounds since Monday.

My RNY is scheduled for this Monday, Dec. 7th. I plan to spend these last few days tying up loose ends around the house and stocking up on stuff like broth, SF jello & pudding cups, SF popcicles and such. I'm not totally sure what I will be able to eat when I get home, but I'm pretty sure those things will be on the menu. I have all my vitamins and other meds already, and those yummy protein shakes (not).

I plan just to relax as much as possible and get psyched for Monday. I spent the long Thanksgiving weekend cleaning house and doing laundry instead of cooking and eating (and eating). I had already started on the pre-op liquid meal replacements before the holiday, and my husband, who is doing well on WW, claimed he did not really want all that food anyway. Smart man.

I am apprehensive, of course -- this will be a huge change to one of the most basic parts of life. Since I started on my pre-op diet, I've really noticed how much my life revolves around things like fast food and the clock-based routine of breakfast, lunch & dinner times. I never realized how ingrained my food choices really are. Driving down the road, my eyes are drawn like magnets to places like Wendy's or McDonalds. I see every one, and every one makes me want to pull in! How ridiculous is that? It's the power of TV marketing; Pavlov would be proud.

I'm not taking much to the hospital: lip balm, my own pillow, a comb, my toothbrush, my robe and my Kindle are probably enough. Oh, and my checkbook, since they require the deductible up front!

I will be in a private room (hurrah!), so I expect my stay to be filled with pain meds and sleeping, sipping and walking... lime jello and maybe a little brain-dead daytime TV. That will be enough.

This is a very important time to stop and take stock of my life. It is my new beginning, and I am very excited! I look forward to better days ahead.

I am content with this.

Well, it's been a loooong summer. Time marches (or limps) on... and so do I. Still dieting, still exercising and STILL WAITING!

All my records have been submitted to Cigna. After two requests from Cigna for additional information -- a letter of medical necessity and a correction of one date -- I am waiting... and waiting... and waiting. Actually, it's only been 5 days since the last round of "we need more information" -- but when added to everything else, it feels like forever! They were very quick with their first two "no's". I hope that the silence this time is a good thing, but the waiting is hard.

Everyone on my medical team says it's in the bag for me - that I meet all the criteria, have two co-morbidities, etc. From their mouths to god's ears!

I have lost almost 10% of my body weight on Weight Watchers doing the Cigna-required 6 month diet. I have actually started maintenance there, because I am just on the edge of 35 BMI. Don't want to get too skinny before I get that approval!

Crossing fingers for that "APPROVED" letter next week. I wonder if the mailman thinks I have a crush on him -- rushing out to the mailbox fast as I can every day?

Well, I decided against the electric tricycle from WalMart. Too big and heavy. Instead, I splurged on an electric-assisted bicycle from Schwinn. It really is fun to ride and lets me enjoy getting out without overtaxing my sore knees. As an added bonus, my DH dug his dusty bike out to go with me! This will benefit both of us, in many ways.

    

As for the GoWear Fit... well, it's OK on my skin, but it's now sitting on my dresser. I have not activated it yet. I find it very bulky and obvious under clothes. That is all so far.

OK, so.... over the last few months, I have spent probably way too much time lurking here on OH and similar sites and blogs, not to mention reading at least a dozen books, devouring all the info I could about "Life After RNY". In reading the honest, up-close stories shared by real people living with RNY, it came to my attention that RNY is a PERMANENT CHANGE.

As in really, really permanent - and really, really changed.

I thought I had this thing in perspective when I first started the process toward surgery. I thought I *knew* what to expect "after".... but it turns out I really hadn't fully grasped how it would affect my entire life going forward. I knew RNY would not magically allow me to live on pizza and ice cream without consequence, and I realized that my eating habits would drastically change, but I did not fully appreciate the danger of continued malabsorption.

Most books don't detail the dedication to diet and supplementation - particularly supplementation - that is necessary for success, even life, post RNY. Part of the reason I am pursuing RNY is to GET OFF PILLS; pills for diabetes, pills for high blood pressure, pills for high cholesterol, pills for overactive bladder, pills for depression, pills for insomnia, pills for joint pain, pills for migraines. Will I simply replace one set of pills with another? Sure, I'll be thinner, and most of my co-morbidities will "probably" go away - which would be great - but my life will still revolve around dietary restrictions, pills and blood tests.

So the real truth is, I will never, ever be able to put my weight and health issues totally behind me. Both will change, hopefully for the better, but I will still have major, attention-consuming health issues, always. And I will still need my pill minders.

*SIGH*

Was I, deep down, actually expecting a miracle cure? I guess maybe I was.... yes, very likely so.

It rankles me that I probably "did all this to myself" with my sedentary ways and poor eating choices, (and poor choice of parental genetics.) I expect loose skin, but don't envision it. I know I'll never be what I was at 21, but perversely, that I do envision! I'm afraid I may look older, which bothers me more than I ever thought it might. And after the surgery, what if my quality of life does not improve as much as I hope? Suppose I am thinner, but still not.... well, normal?

I find myself wondering if I am doing the right thing. Do I really want to do this? Will I be able to accommodate the necessary changes mentally? Will I finally succeed this time?

The only thing that does not seem to bother me is the chance we all take of dying on the table. That reflects my desperation for change, and the depression caused by not being able to do things I love to do because of my weight and joint pain. Some people would question if being able to tend my garden again is worth risking my life. For me - yes, it is!

　

My new GoWear fit Lifestyle and Calorie Management System and the optional display device will be here tomorrow. Got it on sale thru amazon.com - $209 for the whole package, with free 2nd day delivery with Amazon Prime. (Yeah, I shop Amazon a LOT). That sale is over, though... Sorry!

I think the best thing to do is to try wearing the arm band for a couple of days & nights before activating it, to see if I get an allergic reaction to the metal, or if it's too uncomfortable on my (oh so delicate) arm. I'm such a princess!

I'm really interested in seeing what it says about my sleep quality. I'm going to have a sleep study done soon anyway, but I  want to know ahead of time what I might expect that test to reveal. All I am sure of is that I am always headachey and really tired in the morning, and that I wake up a lot during the night.

My next toy will probably be an electric-assist adult tricycle. On clearance thru WalMart online only $699. Jeez, I hope they don't sell out before I have the bucks!