xcherryblossomx
Going ahead with revision
Jul 14, 2019
I've decided that despite the fact it will take me a LONG time to pay it off, I am going forward with revision surgery. My life is more valuable than money. What is a bit more debt in a society where most of us are in debt? I am going to get VSG to mini gastric bypass revision surgery.
I contacted many different surgeons. Because I live on Vancouver Island, flights to San Diego are significantly cheaper than flying to Mexico. Due to this I decided on getting surgery in Tijuana. I narrowed it down to four choices: ALO Bariatrics, Tijuana Bariatric, Pompeii Surgical Bariatric and Mexico Bariatric Center. I had my VSG in 2014 with Dr. Lopez with ALO Bariatrics in Puerto Vallarta.
This time, however, I have decided to go forward with Dr. Louisiana Valenzuela with Mexico Bariatric and I am beyond excited. I have been impressed with my patient coordinator so far as well. I will let you know when my surgery date is! Once we set a date, I'm paying my deposit and booking my flights pronto!!
My first surgery in Mexico feels like a distant memory. My life 5 years ago was completely different. My career, where I lived, relationships, family, pets, vehicles, everything! By needing revision surgery it is hard to not feel like a failure.
I need to remember a few things. At 15 I was put on an insane cocktail of anxiety meds, anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, ADHD meds, EVERYTHING they could think of to get my anxiety disorder and major depression under control. I began to have an insatiable appetite and major cravings. Even for food I didn't even like before that. I gained over 100lbs in 1 year. This was the beginning of my struggle with weight. On top of this I developed polycystic ovary syndrome when I hit puberty during the same timeframe. This was a recipe for disaster.
Thankfully, as an adult in control of my own life, I was no longer taking an insane amount of medication and very cautious of side effects. By the time I had my VSG at the age of 27 I cold "turkeyed" my medication and wasn't on any medication until 2018.
For the last couple years I had plateaued in my weight-loss and was stuck at 195-205. I never gained outside of this range and never lost either. The positive was I maintained being in this weight-bracket.
It was time that I needed to be on an anti-depressant again. I was adamant that I would not take anything that had any risk of weight related side effects. I was put on trintellix. No weight side effects - awesome! However, it didn't really help my mental health. I had what I would call a breakdown in December of 2018. I couldn't function, couldn't work, was unable to sleep, had crippling panic attacks, etc. I was referred to a psychiatrist who put me on Zoloft (sertraline). I was diagnosed with having PTSD due to my childhood which was causing anxiety, etc. I was told there was a 1 in 4 chance it could affect my weight but being alive was more important.
Well between December 15, 2018 and now I have went from 195 to 225. This may not seem like a lot to some people for me this is extremely worrying. I know I need to be on the medication to get through life right now. Yes, I want to work with my specialists to get on a medication that doesn't affect weight but in the 1 - 2 years this could take I refuse to gain another 100lbs+ and be back where I started. I cannot do that again. People in my life have noticed and are extremely scared for me.
This medication has messed with my appetite and I'm having insane cravings. It's horrible. It's like my past is happening to me all over again. It's great having free health care in Canada but it sucks that it will take months to get in just to see my psychiatrist to discuss a med change. This is totally unacceptable and I see why we are having a mental health/addiction crisis.
It is time to put myself into more debt to save my life.
I had stretched out my stomach some with drinking while eating and introducing carbonated drinks. I won't make that mistake for a second time. Perhaps if I hadn't done this I would have gone below 195lbs. I have to remind myself that 340lbs to 195lbs is a victory and something to be proud of. It is nice to know that the only thing that changed in my life causing me to gain weight this time is the medication. I'm still scared to death by it but I'm happy to know it wasn't just emotional eating or me losing control. It is this stupid frigging medication!!!! Ugh!
That's enough b*tching from me. The next step is to break this to my boyfriend. I am worried he won't be supportive. He knows I struggle financially and cannot afford to do this. I know he loves me how I am. Despite how much I love this man, if he can't support me in this he obviously isn't the man for me and I'm leaving. Ideally I would like him to come with me to Mexico. I'll post how that conversation goes (yikes).
I cannot believe I went alone the first time. I hadn't even been to Mexico before lol! I think I had 3-4 connecting flights each way last time too. At least after having surgery I was able to pre-board each time.
Okay, time to run!
Good luck to everyone out there right now on whatever stage of your journey you are at! 
