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This is originally posted on my facebook and I didn't want to rewrite for here.

Many of you have wondered. Many of you have asked. Many of you know but don't understand exactly what in the world I have done. I am going to do my best to explain. I've had many people ask me would I do it again....how much weight have I lost and where and who did it. I know you find it hard to believe but I'm not shy and I will tell you if you want to know. If this spurs questions ask me. 

I had a surgery called Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy on December 27, 2010.  

I have been up and down in weight most all of my adulthood. I was always built differently than the girls in high school and even then thought that because I wore a size 12, I was huge next to their 7s! Boy how I've longed for a 12! I remember being in the 8th grade and drinking TAB for the first time to lose "just alittle" weight! EIGHTH GRADE! Since that time I have tried diets, exercise, starvation and overeating. Nothing seemed to be working. Oh it would work for awhile but eventually you get hungry and eat, you lose and fall back into the same habits and during this time your already low self esteem takes a larger and larger hit with each "failure". 

I know many people say calories in calories out but you know sometimes it just doesn't work that way. The old devil named Coca Cola was as much a drug to me as alcohol and cigarettes. And like many addicts I got the same attitudes about it. Touch my coke and DIE! Many of you know I don't like veggies and as long as there was meat, bread and a coke all was right in my world. My last coca cola was consumed December 18, 2010. Yes, I have craved them....TWICE! Christmas morning I wanted one so bad I could taste it (and I could have still drank one but didn't!) Then last week while at the Mexican restaurant all of a sudden I HAD to have one....I didn't die so I guess I didn't HAVE to.

 There were many tests that I had to go through to be able to have this surgery. According to the medical community and my insurance there are certain criteria one must meet. A BMI 35-40 with co morbidites or a BMI over 40 with no co morbities. Co morbidites are conditions in which you are at risk for health problems or are already having health problems because of these. I have been on anti depressants for YEARS and anyone who has been overweight can tell you weight is alot of the depressive issues. I also was diagnosed with sleep apnea along with pre diabetes, drug controlled high cholesterol and arthritis (joint pain). Falling apart at the ripe old age of 47!

 I ( as well as ALL bariatric surgery patients at Erlanger) was evaluated by a fantastic team. The bariatric nurse Kathy has "been there, done that" and speaks from first hand experience. From 299# to 145# she smiles ALL day and is so ready to help others be happy. There is a dietician, an excersise physiologist and a psychitrist that all get their turn with you to make sure you can and will be able to have the surgery. Then, the doctor: Dr Christopher Sanborn gets his shot. An informative meeting with others, presents all the different options for bariatric surgery. I can only tell you a little about all and why I chose what I chose.

 

 Please understand that just because I've been in the medical field forever this is not any kind of medical advice but merely why I did what I did and only MY reasons.

 RNY surgery is what most people know as "bypass". This is the surgery where they make a little pouch at the top of your stomach; bring the small bowel up to meet your pouch and leave the remaining portion of your stomach where he sits. I have had so many patients that have had complications with this surgery that it really scared me. Since I've been in our support group I have seen some success stories but I've seen ALOT of people gain all their weight back and then some. The pouch that is made is made from the top portion of your stomach. This is important to remember when comparing the RNY and the Sleeve as you will see.

 Lap Band has become the latest and greatest to the community at large and I noticed right before surgery that GMA was talking it up. I have seen many successes with this type of bariatric surgery but again I've seen more failures. With a Lap Band, a foreign object is placed inside your body around the top portion of your stomach. Fluid is added or taken away from this device as needed to constrict or loosen the area that is being controlled. As with any weight loss surgery you are restricting what can be taken in. You have to be diligent about what you put in and you can "eat around" anything. If you have a steady stream of sugars and empty calories you WILL stay fat. You may lose eventually but without drastic changes what have you gained? (or lost in this case). The whole idea of putting something foreign in my body and expecting it to stay didn't sound good to me. What about adhesions? What about allergies? What about the fact that you may have to go over and over to the dr to have it adjusted? Too many unknowns for me to consider.

 Then the infamous Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. The VSG...THE surgery for me. Notice in the other two surgeries I stated that they dealt with the top of the stomach? This is where the sleeve is so radically different.

 It is hard to describe that shape of a stomach without drawing it. Let me describe it broadly as half of a drawn heart with a sloping side. In the top portion of this heart a hormone called ghrelin is made. This is "the hunger" hormone. This portion is left behind with a Lap Band AND the RNY. If someone is going to the pain, the psychological roller coaster, the whole life style change that bariatric surgery entails, why leave the hormone maker behind that is going to sabotage you? Yes, studies have shown that the body does regenerate this hormone around 2 years after surgery but in 2 year I hope to have my habits in place and  the last thing I want to worry about it hunger. I have 24 months to get my life in order. How much time do the RNY and Lap patients have? None....they still produce this hormone the day they entered the hospital and the day they leave...they take it home.

 RNY and Lap Band are both reversible. There is a way out. An escape plan if you will. The VSG is permanent and drastic. They remove 3/4 of the stomach leaving only a "sleeve" looking stomach. This new and improved stomach only holds 4 to 6 ounces at one time. I am to eat three meals a day and water or sugar free fluids throughout the day. I am unable to drink these fluids thirty minutes prior to eating my meal and thirty minutes after my meal. If you think this is an easy way out...try not drinking thirty mins before and 30 mins after your meal and eat only 4 ounces of food when you do eat your meal. I challenge everyone reading this to do it ONE meal. Throughout the course of the day I must ingest 75g of protein and I must make sure and CHEW my vitamins, calcium, iron and B12.

 Now for the ugly truth. My highest weight was 213# on my 5'3" frame. REALLY??? TWO HUNDRED THIRTEEN!!! I saw the surgeon at 206.8#. How could I not make a choice to save my life? I have children that depend on me, a husband that loves me and parents that are healthy that I want to outlive. As of this morning (Monday)....exactly 4 weeks since surgery I weighed in at 174#! The five measurements I have taken were compared this a.m. and I have lost 14 inches! My goal weight is 110# and I KNOW a lot of you are telling me that is TOO little. Well, it may be and I may never make that goal but it is still in the healthy range for my frame and my husband and I have promised one another, if I start to look like a booble head, I WILL eat a cheeseburger! LOL  I doubt that the bobble head will ever emerge and really it is only 8# less than my lowest high school weight. As long as I become healthy, the goal doesn't necessarily define me.

 There is a huge learning curve and this by far has not been easy. Sometimes I feel life isn't fair, but really, what is? Sometimes, I'm finally one of those people who "forget to eat"! NEVER thought people like that were normal....oh wait that's me now! LOL I miss my food until I go to swallow and I've about decided that I don't miss it...it misses me!! It begs me to eat it and I"m getting strong enough to say NO WAY! This has taught me that the surgery is not an easy way out. There is nothing easy about this. There is more work involved here than I think people realize. Try measuring, weighing, not drinking, excersing, and doing your usual busy schedule and see how you feel. Add to these things being post op, emotional and not feeling "normal" to the mix and then you can board my roller coaster.

 I've been through ALOT of tough things in my life. 99% of the time I beat the tough things down. That 1% weight devil is now being pulverized and man does it feel good! Can't wait to excerise EVERYHING and beat those ole jigglies. My 50th birthday present is going to be plastic surgery IF I need it. There will be no more jiggilers in my life. I can float just fine in a pool without them. I am tired of wasting money on drugs that I don't need and bigger and bigger clothes. I am already saving money on food and medicine so imagine when I get the hang of this! I may be able to send Hunter to college:) I will save on the medical expenses and after the initial clothes purchase there will be money in my pocket...sounds intriguing doesn't it?

 There you have it....everything in black and white and probably more than you would ever want to know. I have answered the personal message questions and will continue to do so. Again, anyone who knows me knows I'm not shy and if you want to know I will tell you. Easy? no. Exciting? yes.  BRING ON THE QUESTIONS

Been another one of those days. I'm glad I have friends here that are going through this with me otherwise I really would be wondering.... WTH? Got up this morning with a smile, got my clothes out for church and off to the shower I went. Sadly at the end of the shower I was so weak I could hardly move. I motivated down the stairs and headed straight to a chocolate protein shake...30g that is! I started feeling slightly better but still things were askew. My skin was dry and my scales said my water was only at 28%.  Time to head to the quick care and get some fluids. It is AMAZING how much better you feel when you have the RIGHT balance going.  Will have my visit with my surgeon tomorrow and my second local support meeting.
I have such great support from my friends and family that it can make a girl smile for hours!

Today was one of those days. One of those "they" warn you about. The one where you are wondering what in the world you have done to yourself. The one where you are weak because there isn't enough protein getting in. The one where you feel if you drink one more thing you would drown. The one where you think you are all alone in these feelings. I don't think I have ever been so happy to see the sun gone down than I have tonight.
I told my husband that is how I am getting through this hard time. I'm just waiting on sunset and bedtime. I know that God will grant me a beautiful day if only I will get up and try again. I am never too low that He isn't with me. He probably got tired of hearing me today. I'm glad He gets me in all my craziness. Bless my family they are trying so hard but it is breaking their hearts to watch me cry and not eat. My husband took me out to one of our favorite soup and sandwich places tonight and instead of getting chicken noodle soup they gave me just the broth. I have never had anything so wonderful in my entire life! I took it very slow and placed my spoon down between each sip. It took a long time but never was I uncomfortable and I didn't feel like I was missing out because the broth was alittle thicker than at home....not to mention TASTY!
The scales are amazing and they tell me I am already losing. My daughter's best friend came in from college tonight and she said she could tell. So happy are my thoughts now.  I will get up tomorrow knowing I can have alittle thicker liquid and that in the morning I get to not only start again but I get to add:)

The countdown is on. It seems so surreal. Christmas eve tomorrow, Christmas Saturday, Church Sunday......then.....well, then, everything changes. Alot has changed just this week! I feel like I'm hungry ALL the time when I know I'm really not. I've lost 4 pounds since Monday a.m.!
My first friend on here that was pre surgery with me is having his surgery right now. I've never met the man and by our profiles, other than the fact we are both overweight, we have nothing in common. Yet, I am sooo happy for him for I can understand our struggles are so similiar.
All of us here on the website are loosely woven in the fact that we are all humans struggling with one common thread. I feel we must uplift and support because "out there" we have all been looked down at, laughed at, or whispered behind. Here we KNOW we are worthy of so much more than the people "out there" will ever realize. Our struggles show on our bodies. Their struggles may never be apparent but trust me, they have them too. EVERYONE has struggles, unfortunately overweight people are seen as weak, unable, smelly, gross, when really we have something we need to deal with inside. Really, we are people just like the skinny girl down the street. We are people just like the model we see on the Victoria's Secret ads. (btw, Victoria doesn't have a secret!)We are here to do something about it! We are here seeking help! We are here screaming "let me out of this body!" You know, we are here because................. (you finish your sentence).

I walked into work this a.m. and realized I won't be here this time next week! I will be on the surgery table getting a life changing procedure. WOW!  It is mind boggling to me. I'm excited yet nervous, happy but scared, laughing but teary. So many emotions that only my friends here understand. I started my diet yesterday and did really good until we went to the movies and you know I ate the popcorn! Well, I look at it as I didn't drink the coca cola. Gonna look at the good I did instead of focusing on failure. Today is a new day. Have had oatmeal and will be eating lean and fruitty all day. Watch out world I am off the chain today!

The surgery is now scheduled! December 27 will be the start of a new life for me. I am excited! My mom did go with me yesterday and I think she left feeling alittle better about "needing" the surgery and alitte more comfortable since she met Dr Sanborn. She is. of course, still worried about her baby:) I have two weeks left to "eat it up!" Our family Christmas celebration is the 18th and that will be the last day to eat as I want. The next day starts preop. December 19th I will weigh and measure to have a starting point and it WILL be the last time I have to face those numbers. Many first and last to go along with the new year. I can't think of a better way to start 2011 than healthier and happier.

I will be meeting with my surgeon tomorrow to set a date! I am so excited yet nervous. My mom is going with me. When I asked her if she wanted to go and ask any questions she said "all I want to know is ARE YOU GOING TO BE OK?" Bless her heart she will always be my mama no matter how old we are:)

Well, here I am. www.obesityhelp.com. How did I get here? What I have done to deserve this distinction? Am I finally gonna get off this roller coaster?

Let me start by saying, HI

I've never written a blog but I have written alot. I have never been on a weight loss website but I've been on many websites. I've never had weight loss surgery but surgeries are no stranger. I ask alot of questions only because I think the answers may change. They don't... the answer is still the same. You are overweight. You are pre-diabetic. You are not able to do simple things that you enjoy. I want to change these answers to YES, OK, SURE, LET ME DO IT! Negativity has no place in my vocabulary.

I am a very upbeat and pleasant person but my internal dialog is horrible. When I am in the shower and my husband comes in, I am embarrassed. When I get out and the towel doesn't go all the way around, I am heart broken. When I try to put on my clothes and realize they no longer fit and I'm out of breath from trying, I can do nothing but cry. My husband didn't marry this woman! I'm not this woman! I'm the one that can do anything, be anything, and go go go anytime there is something to do. When did this woman show up?

I love my Lord Jesus. I love my children. I love my husband. I love my parents and family. I love others! Why can't I love myself? It is time. Time for me. Time for health. Time to look the world straight in the eye again.

I have been in the process of getting VGS surgery for a few weeks now and all that is left is meeting with the surgeon again and setting the date. I have a date of December 27, 2010 in mind. I have been to our meeting. I have attended consults with the surgeon, the bariatric nurse, the exercise physiologist, the dietitian and the psychologist. I've had an EGD to get a road map of my esophagus and stomach. I have received a wonderful test called a sleep study and gotten a new sleeping partner. Now...I'M READY! Let the new year begin with a new start, a renewed mind, a renewed sense of self and a NEW BODY!  Come on 2011 it's you and me!