Yanet120

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Okay so i have been hearing about so many people and wow moments and final its my turn. This morning i got up to get ready for church. I was going to dress to the nines. Show my presents to the Lord as a thank you for this wonderful timein my life.. And to my amazement nothing fit.. In the best way possible. Everything was too big and baggy. all my pants could go up with out unsipping all my shirts were like tents.. I couldnt be in a better mood.. SO heres to my first wow moment.. I rasie my glass of protein up and cheers to myself and the Lord for helping me make the choice to better my life! Amen to  today!

I am so annoyed right now with weight loss. I was in a three week stall and then last week i was doing great. now for the pass 4 days nothing.. I uped my eating uped my protien and uped the workout  and nothing.. I am so annoyed.. I know some say that you lost the most from month 3 to 6 and i am only 6 weeks out but come on are you kidding me.. all this hard work for nothing. Thats how i feel i wish my body would make up its mind.. Just shoot me know. Someone please!!!!

I am so happy with my choice to have wls. I feel so much better about myself. And i see that my choice is helping my husband to get his life back on track. He is down 15 pounds and doing great. Which in turn is keeping my kids healthy. I have been blessed so many times over by making this life change and i am loving it.

Yesterday I went into my hubbys work place for there 20 year celebration and was stoped by so many people just telling my how much it looks like i lost and how great i am looking. I Was very happy to see that everyone can now see all the hard work i am putting into myself.

So i am one month out.. I cant even beileve it! Where did all the time go. Where did the inches go. Because thats all that is leaveing my body. I droped two pound when my period came but really havent droped anything eles. Its driving me nuts.
But i am really proud of myself. And I am so greatful for my husband and family that are always there with there support. When i am down they are there to lift me up. I am so greatful for them and all my friends that keep me in there prayers.

Its been such a stressful week as we are surrounded by fires. It is super smoking out here and i am sick to my death with broncitics and a pretty bad sinus infection.  No working out not much eatting going on and having to force myself to drink all my fluids that at 7 30 at night i am way behind on need to try and keep down a protein shake down tonight. Kinda sad though because this is the week that i get to start trying to get in reagular food but with being so sick  i cant really do any of that this week..

My kids go back to school in about a week and i am so excited as it will be just me and the baby her for most of the day. I will get a few hours of me time to work out and just do things for me. I cant wait but i will be sad that my 5 y/o wont be home with me anymore to hang out with mummy. But i am excited that i will have time with my youngest by himself.

I feel like i am all over the palce today. Lots going on and my mind is jumping from one thing to the other.  I am so ready for bed its not even funny. I think i will take a long hot shower and get some nice cool pjs and just sit in the bed and watch some junk tv. .

So I don't really write about myself or my life but I feel like I need to just write down all my feeling and thoughts so I can go back and read where I was at each stage of my life after surgery!

I was never really a big girl just bigger then my twin and my older sister. Never really hit over 120 and thought I was fat because my sister stayed around 100. Now being a twin and always being known as the big twin never really bothered me because well I had big boobs and a nice ass. I like myself and really like that i had a nice shape.

Well that all changed when I got pg with my first son. I gain 80 pounds like overnight. And I played it off like "well I am having a baby no big deal it will come off after he is here". No such luck. Even the day I delivered this 9 pound beauty the scale didn't move a pinch. I let it go; my husband thought I was beautiful and we were happy. Two years later my second son came and another 40 pounds too. Hubby still thought I was beautiful but I felt ugly.. A Year and half after that we started trying for one last baby. And nothing happened. Being that I got pg on the first try with my first son and got pg on birth control with my second having trouble with the last baby was worrisome. Went to the Dr's and nothing, ran every test took lost of blood and they just had no answers for me. Then I went back to my ob that I had with my two sons and with one ultra sound and a blood test I was told I was diabetic and had pcos. Being 25 at the time and hearing the word diabetic scared me to no end. Am I going to die early will my kids have to take care of me when I am in my 40s. But I started my meds and went on with my life. Three months later I found out I was three months prego. What a surprise what a blessing. Oh wait what will the meds I have been on do to the baby oh no what have I done. How much weight will i gain this time.(another 25)  Turns out I got pg the week I was told about the diabetes. Things went well till that first high res ultra sound. There's something wrong with the new bundle of boy. A hole in his tiny heart. Words like surgery, downs and complications were floating around us every where we went.
I couldn't breath I couldn't see I wanted to close down shop I was done. What have I done to my baby. After months of costly ultra sound my prayers were answered. What do you mean you cant find it? The hole just went away? Thank you lord Jesus you saved my baby! He was born at a lite 8.1 lbs  (both boys were 9+) and was as healthy as could be. Like nothing ever was wrong with him. So then I started to hope that the diabetes would just up and leave. Went to the Dr's to hear the wonderful news and was told sorry you still have it honey and you probably have had it since you were in the early part of your twenty's. Okay just move on sister. That is when we started talking about my weight. Come on I just had a baby give a girl a break. Then 9 months passed and the scale didn't , then his first birthday came and well I had a choice to make. DO I want to be that parent that gets sick and depends on her kids to take care of her when she is in her 40s or do I want to do something about it and insure a long healthy life watching her kids grown up and become men. Well the choice was pretty clear. I took the first steps. Eight months later I had my surgery and as of today I and just about 4 weeks out. I feel great but in a stall and it kills me. I am losing inches and the hubby and the people around me say I am looking smaller and great but that number just looms like a black storm cloud over my head. Taunting me! You'll never reach your goals, your fat for life. I fight back no man I am doing what I need to, you will not win, I am stronger then you, I will beat you. I am down about 30 lbs but haven't moved in a week. Time to kick up my work out. Push the shakes and make this body know who is the boss. I Will reach my short term goal so that in time I reach my long term one. As for the scale he is not my friend and he will be locked away in the closet and only allowed out once a week. This is my battle and I am going to win.