Yanet120
My life after surgery!
Jul 23, 2010
So I don't really write about myself or my life but I feel like I need to just write down all my feeling and thoughts so I can go back and read where I was at each stage of my life after surgery!
I was never really a big girl just bigger then my twin and my older sister. Never really hit over 120 and thought I was fat because my sister stayed around 100. Now being a twin and always being known as the big twin never really bothered me because well I had big boobs and a nice ass. I like myself and really like that i had a nice shape.
Well that all changed when I got pg with my first son. I gain 80 pounds like overnight. And I played it off like "well I am having a baby no big deal it will come off after he is here". No such luck. Even the day I delivered this 9 pound beauty the scale didn't move a pinch. I let it go; my husband thought I was beautiful and we were happy. Two years later my second son came and another 40 pounds too. Hubby still thought I was beautiful but I felt ugly.. A Year and half after that we started trying for one last baby. And nothing happened. Being that I got pg on the first try with my first son and got pg on birth control with my second having trouble with the last baby was worrisome. Went to the Dr's and nothing, ran every test took lost of blood and they just had no answers for me. Then I went back to my ob that I had with my two sons and with one ultra sound and a blood test I was told I was diabetic and had pcos. Being 25 at the time and hearing the word diabetic scared me to no end. Am I going to die early will my kids have to take care of me when I am in my 40s. But I started my meds and went on with my life. Three months later I found out I was three months prego. What a surprise what a blessing. Oh wait what will the meds I have been on do to the baby oh no what have I done. How much weight will i gain this time.(another 25) Turns out I got pg the week I was told about the diabetes. Things went well till that first high res ultra sound. There's something wrong with the new bundle of boy. A hole in his tiny heart. Words like surgery, downs and complications were floating around us every where we went.
I couldn't breath I couldn't see I wanted to close down shop I was done. What have I done to my baby. After months of costly ultra sound my prayers were answered. What do you mean you cant find it? The hole just went away? Thank you lord Jesus you saved my baby! He was born at a lite 8.1 lbs (both boys were 9+) and was as healthy as could be. Like nothing ever was wrong with him. So then I started to hope that the diabetes would just up and leave. Went to the Dr's to hear the wonderful news and was told sorry you still have it honey and you probably have had it since you were in the early part of your twenty's. Okay just move on sister. That is when we started talking about my weight. Come on I just had a baby give a girl a break. Then 9 months passed and the scale didn't , then his first birthday came and well I had a choice to make. DO I want to be that parent that gets sick and depends on her kids to take care of her when she is in her 40s or do I want to do something about it and insure a long healthy life watching her kids grown up and become men. Well the choice was pretty clear. I took the first steps. Eight months later I had my surgery and as of today I and just about 4 weeks out. I feel great but in a stall and it kills me. I am losing inches and the hubby and the people around me say I am looking smaller and great but that number just looms like a black storm cloud over my head. Taunting me! You'll never reach your goals, your fat for life. I fight back no man I am doing what I need to, you will not win, I am stronger then you, I will beat you. I am down about 30 lbs but haven't moved in a week. Time to kick up my work out. Push the shakes and make this body know who is the boss. I Will reach my short term goal so that in time I reach my long term one. As for the scale he is not my friend and he will be locked away in the closet and only allowed out once a week. This is my battle and I am going to win.
