OH bullies

 If you've ever spent any time at OH, you've undoubtedly encountered certain individuals who abuse their status within the forum. I'm not talking about trolls. They're easy to spot - and just as easy to dismiss. But rather, a different kind of malicious person - the OH bully.

An OH bully is a throwback to Junior high.  Remember that nasty girl with her pathetic little band of subservient followers? That's an OH bully. In ways the OH bully is like a troll, but with a major difference. While the troll's behavior is condemned by the group, the forum bully's actions are condoned by the group. Established members of the group, who don't agree with the bully, usually remain quiet while the bully tears apart people just for sport and as a demonstration of power within the forum.

Basically an OH bully is a popular troll-- a troll with power within the group.  There lies the danger. Picture that popular girl in high school who takes pride in belittling others less popular. Then toss in a few of her friends, along for the ride, who derive their own sense of power by picking up her table scraps, and you have an OH bully!


How  to spot an OH bully

Look at her replies to posts.  Notice how most forum members reply to comments. Most are polite. They may disagree but they do so with a level of respect for the thoughts of others.  The OH bully does not respect anyone but herself. She respects the power of others in the group, but nothing else. Everyone is beneath her. Her comments are made without regard to the feelings of anyone but herself.

And if the OH bully is wrong, she will not admit it. To do so would undermine her power. While others in the group will soften their comments or phrase their comments in the form of suggestions, the forum bully will tell others what to do, like a master issuing orders to slaves. When called on this approach, the forum bully's followers will claim the bully is just being blunt. That she has to act this way to save others from themselves  Remember the bully is the source of ALL TRUTH, and her followers sense of power.

When you are attacked by an OH bully, disagree politely then get out. Show your strength with silence.  Even the most skillful defense will dash you up against the walls of the OH kingdom. 

You probably have more people rooting for you than you think. OH bullies are not necessarily liked by the more respected members of the forum, they are merely tolerated because they are part of the inner circle

Well put, and amen!!!!

I think people are too scared to take them on and draw their own line. Ignoring, while it makes sense, still allows for their power.

Hurting people hurt people. It makes me very very sad for all sides.

you say "both sides" - but there are NOT 2 sides all well defined like you think, it's not that simple. the fact is, we have seen this "you are a bully and I will call you out on it" many many times 

Anne, this is not new

I get that it's new to you & you have to work through it but it's old for a lot of us. bottom line, we do not and will not agree on what is support, what is mean, what is being a bully, what is over the line, what is too nasty, and so on.

I have not seen bullying lately but you say you've gotten nasty PMs - so post them.

first forward one to me since the posting will eventually disappear but post them.  then we can see - as individuals, not as one cohesive group which we are not and will never be - if we think they are bullying.

other than that 

 PS

people are not scared!!!

it's a damn internet forum, we are all safe in our homes with our fuzzy slippers on!

How  to spot an OH bully  

Look at her replies to posts.  Notice how most forum members reply to comments. Most are polite. They may disagree but they do so with a level of respect for the thoughts of others.  The OH bully does not respect anyone but herself. She respects the power of others in the group, but nothing else. Everyone is beneath her. Her comments are made without regard to the feelings of anyone but herself.

 And if the OH bully is wrong, she will not admit it. To do so would undermine her power. While others in the group will soften their comments or phrase their comments in the form of suggestions, the forum bully will tell others what to do, like a master issuing orders to slaves. When called on this approach, the forum bully's followers will claim the bully is just being blunt. That she has to act this way to save others from themselves  Remember the bully is the source of ALL TRUTH, and her followers sense of power.

 When you are attacked by an OH bully, disagree politely then get out. Show your strength with silence.  Even the most skillful defense will dash you up against the walls of the OH kingdom.

 congrats on your weight loss, Pup, nice photo!

Thanks!

Thanks, Pupcake.

Just for clarification, it is not my intent to take on the bullies, nor to change the culture of this particular forum. I have no interest in that whatsoever. Whatever floats people's boats- not a problem.

My interest is practicing standing my ground, and that only. This forum provides wonderful opportunity for that.

Lots of truth here.

There is a huge difference between an on line forum and junior high school. No one takes attendance on a forum, no one has to show up for classes here, no one has to be here period. School is more of a captive place, OH certainly is not. People are here because they want to be here, they do not have to be here. Big, big difference.

The other major difference is the block button. There are no block buttons in real life but fortunately they do exist here. One click and any perceived bully disappears, end of problem.

Why do you suppose that only a handful of posters seem to have problems with bullies? Do you think it could possibly be that we ignore the posts we don't like and concentrate on the ones we do? That option is available to everyone, I highly recommend it.

You see bullies, I see people who keep running to the teacher to tattle. Should I start a post (or a dozen posts) about whiners?