being noticed: cant handle it

I'm 9 weeks out. People are noticing and remarking @ my wt loss: strangers in the gym and pool approach me. I am only @ 50# down. Last nite I couldn't control my eating for love or money. There was no feeling of restriction. There was no urge to vomit. I didn't even put the two events together...just ate jello, yogurt, nuts, olives and drank. Today, I've gained 1.8#. Its the first gain since 12/5

I can't get my mind off it. Lay in bed and feel my stomach missing from my abdomen. Don't want to move. I keep saying I want to disappear...I need to lose anothr 150 at least so this 50 doesn't really mean that much. My body is so mishappen that is really hard to see progress except for my face.

I have no resources for dealing with this. Does it strike a cord in anyone else?

Thanks for constructuve ideas

 There are LOTS Of reasons we choose to be MO .  Often its for self - protection against  sexual ior physical  abusers from our childhood , or a FU reaction to remembered hurtful schoolyard taunts .. .  It IS  a CHOICE .  

Though we had an eating disorder and an addiction ... we COULD have chosen to become bulimic ...normal weight ..  not fat .  We CHOSE  that  layer of protection and DISGUISE for  concrete reasons ! 

When we start to lose in QUANTITY  people  DO notice and treat us VERY  differently .  We are no longer " the invisible woman " ( or man ) .

This is one of the many reasons  support  is SO  Important to us -  because without  it  , we often choose  to  eat the butter and the full fat cheese  and the nut buters and slider  ice cream ( not to mention fast food ) that makes us regain to  our comfort zone .  

((((()))))) congratulations on successfully TALKING about  the issue .  Please  keep sharing here  if you can't /won't get  Urself to a therapist  or a ( free )  OA meeting ....  or just BECAUSE  .  

Many , Many others are going thru EXACTLY the same issue as U ..

I am with a therapist. It doesn't help

The anxiety and behavior you are describing isn't normal, find another therapist if your current one isn't working out.

What's abnormal @ it?

First: If you felt your behavior was normal and healthy, you wouldn't have posted here about it asking for help and advice.

Second: "I'm 9 weeks out. People are noticing and remarking @ my wt loss: strangers in the gym and pool approach me. I am only @ 50# down. Last nite I couldn't control my eating for love or money."

Do you think it is normal to binge eat as a reaction to people who want to strike up a conversation with you? 

Binge eating triggered by social anxiety is not health, and not normal.

IF your therapy is not working, either get a different therapist or see where you may have a communication barrier with your current one so that you can work through these problems.

Your sudden "what's not normal about it?" question following your initial cry for help about not being able to "handle it" is extraordinarliy suspicious. I wonder if you truly want to get better. For your sake, I hope you do.

I don't know how to interpret what you are saying here. And I don't like it, either. It makes me feel criminal. The message sounds unforgiving and accusatory. I'm glad you aren't my therapist.

I don't really care if my beh is seen as normal or abnormal. Its my behavior. And second, I was soliciting strategies for dealing with what makes me feel uncomfortable not labels.

I'm not sure if you just wanted to jump on me or if you really believe your comments can help me.

Apologies if I am misreading your message or the tone.

Yes, you are misinterpreting my tone, probably because I didn't mention what you wanted to hear and you mistook that as criticism. It is not.

I am pointing out that your behavior is very confusing here. On one moment you ask for help regarding your unhealthy and abnormal behvaiors, and then a few moments later asking what is abnormal about it- which is just a way of defending the very behavoirs you asked for help with.

So which is it? Do you consider your social anxiety and binge overeatting to be normal and you wish to protect these habits by arguing the normality of it? Or do you want to change these behaviors because you recognise that they are not normal and healthy?

I'm not here to play games with you, I would like an answer to this and here's why:

Insinuating that such behavior is normal is merely a way of enabling yourself to continue the said behaviors, and it leads me to wonder how devoted you are to making yourself better.

I'm not giving you labels, it's a fact that Binge eating and social anxiety isn't normal and is very unhealthy for a number of reasons. I think you know this or you wouldn't have posted here asking for help. I am very glad that you seem to recognize that you have a problem and that you've sought therapy over the years. But if your therapist has not been effective, it is time to find a new one.

I read in another post that your therapist's techniques are "holistic", and don't seem sufficient for the kind of problems you're facing. Since the anxiety/binge-eating has been an ongoing struggle for you, I think it's safe to say that this is not something you can work through on your own. There are lots of good therapists out there, but you have to go out and find them.

But therapy is a two way street, the patient needs to be ready, willing, and cooperative in order to confront unhealty behaviors and anxieties. Since you were debating the normality of your problems to protect your current behaviors, I wonder if you're truly prepared to tackle these problems with the help of a therapist.

I would think long and hard about that, it is pointless to work with a therapist if you're going to sabotage yourself by being your own worst enabler. If you're having mixed feelings about that, then you may have more work to do and find out what is holding you back.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Ok. Thank you.

Are you exercising?  If not, I suggest you take walks.  Walking is just as good for the head as it is for the body.

Also, you are going through hormone hell when you lose weight so fast.  It is going to mess with your thought process.

The foods you were eating go down easy so you will not feel restriction as much.  Olives and nuts can be very salty and will cause you to retain fluids.  Drink lots of water today and lay off the salt.

Don't beat yourself up when you slip up, just get back on track and don't let the food demons take over.  Most of us know how difficult this is and it doesn't go away.

When you get complements, just smile and say thank you.  Use them to spur you on.  You deserve to be healthy and look good and it ain't gonna happen if you stay fat.  In the meantime, start making an effort to look as good as you can.  Get some new clothes that fit you better, wear make up and just generally take better care of yourself.

Take it one day at a time.  Don't project into the future, just do what is good for you and keep it up.  Get interested in nutrition and eat not only for pleasure but for long lasting health.

Good luck