My Mom Won't Support Me and Is Being Very Negative!

Hello Everyone!  I have been visiting my mom for the past four weeks and I don't leave until the 20th of September when I fly back home to Washington State.  I finally got up the courage to tell her about the DS I will be having on the 27th and she went kind of crazy on me!  She told me she knows all about these surgeries by what she sees on TV and from her doctor who told her that it is very dangerous for someone like me.  (I have fibromyalgia and wear a cpap, I am hoping the surgery will take care of the cpap) Anyway, she is comparing me to Carnie Wilson, who I explained to her had a different kind of surgery.  Now she is saying that she doesn't want to be heartbroken when I die on the table and that she has a premonition that I will.  She won't listen to reason.  She won't look at dsfacts.com.  She won't look at obesityhelp.com.  I am just out of my head trying to reason with this woman and I am here for over another week.  I don't think I can take it.  I love my mother very much but she is being so unreasonable....Did anybody else go through this???  Any advice???

Thank you in advance,

Deanna

She is just scared.  Leave the links available.  She will eventually look at it and hopefully open her mind a little.    Hope you can make it through the week in peace.
Regards,

My parents were the same, and I'm in my 40s. My mother tried all the same stuff yours did (what she'd seen in the media, Carnie Wilson, Rosanne Barr, blah blah blah). By the time I made up my mind to do it, it wasn't negotiable. I didn't want their input, I was just informing them. I got so sick of the hand wringing / fretting bull**** I told them to either read the studies, and have an informed conversation with me about it, or shut the **** up. I had the extra stress of leaving the country for my surgery (and, I'd never had any kind of surgery before either) so I was nervous enough. I needed support, and if they couldn't provide that, then they at least needed to not make things worse.

Of course your an adult making choices for your own health and well being, and you cant let others ignorance hold you back. 

Almost every last relative and friend that knew what I was going to do, was against it. I will say, that almost right out of the gate, they could see immediately after surgery, that it was the right thing to do. I was off my CPAP and medications IMMEDIATELY! I'm now over 3.5 years post op, and my parents, as well as all my relatives and friends that thought I was certifiably nuts, are all now very enthusiastic about the DS. 

When I remembered that you are going to a doctor who did not want to do the DS on you and didn't have a single DS paitient here...I changed my response to you.


The fact that you are proposing to have a guy build you a Mecedes because your friends were happy with the Fords he built for them IS frightening.,,and not very logical.

Even if you mother did look at OH, what she's see is people telling you that you need an EXPERIENCED DS SURGEON...something you don't seem to have bothered with.

We had someone like you about a month ago.  Stephanie.  We warned her off of the surgeon she wanted...told her he couldn't be counted on to show up.  But she like him and ignored us.  He didn't show.  She got handed off to some other surgeon...NOT an experienced DS surgeon...and Stephanie is dead.

We had someone else like the OP as well. She insisted on going to Stephanie's surgeon right after Stephanie died because she couldn't get instant proof of cause of death. That person flounced away from here rather than be sensible and at least POSTPONE her surgery with this guy (who had a spurious legal record that was already publicly viewable).

Now we don't know whether she's dead or alive.

To the OP: We warn away from unknown surgeons for a good reason. Open your mind and pay attention.

Simply horrifying. I wonder if she went through with it......

My guess is probably.

this is a reason why i told NO ONE that i revised to the DS.  there is so much ignorance out there, fear stems from ignorance.  sometimes those that you want to support you can actually hinder you the most.  you have to come to a point in your life in which you decide who you tell what.  you have to decide i really don't care waht you say i know what is best for me and i am willing to take the consequences of my decisions.  you can't change people, only yourself, do what is best for yourself, that is the only person you can control.  i understand your problem very well as i have lived it.... i wish you the best, it is very difficult, but morbid obesiyt living that way is worse----do what is the best you know is in your heart......

 Deanna, I don't recognize your surgeon.  Is he a for real DS surgeon?   And, this is why I didn't tell my mom, dad, or sister.  I knew this would be their response.   I treat everyone on a need to know basis when it comes to my business.  I wish you the very best with all of it!

 Also, have you been to DSfacts.com to check out real DS surgeons.  It's not too late to cancel your surgery!  Really and truly, do this for yourself.  Don't make the mistake that so many others have made.  I can't implore you enough.