Why do I feel BIGGER as I get SMALLER?!

 So it was my birthday on Friday and so my friends and I took some pictures together at dinner and later when we went out.  I was excited taking them because I figured that FINALLY I'd have pictures that I wasn't embarrassed by!  I mean, the dress I wore was a size 12!  a 12!!  Any my friends kept saying how good I looked.  And they seemed genuine too.  

Fast forward to today.  Finally uploaded my pictures.  Objectively I can see that I am smaller than before.  Objectively I can see that I am no longer morbidly obese.  but damn!  In the pictures I swear I still look massive!  I was so excited and now I'm just deeply disappointed.  I know at least a portion of this is just in my head.  But damn, I feel like I'm starting all over again.  

I'm a size 12, so I'm no longer "fat".  So why do I feel like I'm right back at 298 pounds?  What gives?  When I first started losing weight I swear I could see each ounce falling off.  Now, in my mind, I seem to be getting larger even though I'm losing weight and my measurements are shrinking.

 Any advice on how to deal with this?  I'm really bummed at the moment.  I looked at the pictures and I swear I didn't have a single nice thing to say about myself.  Not really sure what to do with this.  I don't really have a plan of attack.  I'm not going to do anything drastic or reduce food intake or anything.  What I'm doing seems to be working.  It's my head that doesn't realize it!

Thanks for listening!

Someone else posted something similiar on the forum today. I think it is just hard for us to get the image of ourselves being fat or large out of our heads. So yet another thing we have to try and work on. It is hard, especially if it is has been so many years being big - I have the same exact issues.

I feel the same way. I look at myself in the mirror and think what the hell??? I still see a 410 pound person looking back at me. I am not sure how to stop feeling like a failure even though I have lost over 200 pounds all together. If you find a cure, let me know please!!!!

It's like I was telling my son, who will be 30 this year, that in my head I picture him as a little boy, 5 or 6.  That is what I think when I picture my son.  It is that way with all my kids and even with some old friends.  I have a picture stuck in my head at some point in time that is frozen there.  Even now when I go to meet my son somewhere I am a little taken aback when he approaches me and I have to remind myself that he isn't that little boy again.
I think it is the same way with ourselves.  We have a picture in our mind of who we are and it has nothing to do with what we look like presently.  I have lost a lot of weight but sometimes when I look at the mirror my mind automatically goes to the "God I'm so fat" line before I remind myself that it's not me any more.
Will they ever match up?  Maybe, maybe not, but just because I may picture myself a certain way doesn't mean I am that way.  I just try to replace the old picture with the current one and move on.

 I truly understand because everyone sees my weight loss except me :-/

 When I look in the mirror its like "What?? I'm still fat???  I've lost nearly 80lbs...How can I still look so fat?"  I don't feel that fat but yet I still am.

We all have this picture of what thin looks like based on magazine photos, models, celebrities, etc. We don't know what the "average" american woman looks like naked, now do we? The naked women we usually see (besides an occasional flash at the gym) are models, bunnies, scantily clothed celebrities, or nubile youngsters.

What I'm getting at is that we probably will never match the picture of "slender, trim, thin" we have in our minds because of the influence of media. I'm sure the average woman has fat dimples, a roll or two of fat here or there, cellulite, stretch marks, skin imperfections and a regular shape -- one that is not Barbie like. Probably celebrities do too, we just never see them because they are air-brushed out.

So when I look in the mirror (nekkid as a jay bird), I'm working hard on not trying to compare the publicized image I've had sold to me of thinness or attractiveness. I try very, very hard to see myself realistically, with all the flaws, imperfections and years of living I have on my body. She's a good body...a sturdy, strong, capable, and interesting body with all her unique imperfections. Sure, I'd love to have perky breasts and unwrinkled thighs, but I'm going to continue to rave over my normalcy and enjoy the changes in my shape, proclaim the imperfections I own, and work really hard on appreciating all the good I've done for myself, instead of trying to see myself as this unrealistic (media imposed) image of beauty and thinness.

AMEN Christinalee. She is so correct about "our" image of thin is. Keep the faith! You are not alone.