One year post-op - Feeling pride and shame all at once (pics)
Thank you. This is my favorite, most helpful response. :) It truly is a journey that I will be on for the rest of my life.
My reason for posting my story was simply to, I had hoped, show others that may be pre-surgery or newly post-op that things may not go perfectly. You may not reach the goals that you set for yourself in the timeframe that you have set for yourself, but that does not mean you are failing. Sometimes you just need to redefine what "success" is. And for me, it is no longer the number on the scale, it is the healthy, happy life I now have. I am a work in progress and there are bumps along the road of this journey (twizzlers) and it's how you deal with and get over those bumps that measure your success.
My reason for posting my story was simply to, I had hoped, show others that may be pre-surgery or newly post-op that things may not go perfectly. You may not reach the goals that you set for yourself in the timeframe that you have set for yourself, but that does not mean you are failing. Sometimes you just need to redefine what "success" is. And for me, it is no longer the number on the scale, it is the healthy, happy life I now have. I am a work in progress and there are bumps along the road of this journey (twizzlers) and it's how you deal with and get over those bumps that measure your success.
Jenny HW: 268 / SW: 254 / CW: 180 / GW: 140
First 5K: 4.21.2012 - Time: 34:45 - 2nd Place in age group
Second 5K: 6.2.2012 - Time 37:09
First 5K: 4.21.2012 - Time: 34:45 - 2nd Place in age group
Second 5K: 6.2.2012 - Time 37:09
Jenny,
You have got plenty of ra-ra posts and indeed, you have done a good job of losing 88lbs and becoming a runner - I envy you that!!!!
However ... you are still in your honeymoon period and yet you and your body are behaving as if you are in maintenance. I am concerned that once you stop malabsorbing (probably the next six months or so) your eating habits will push you into a considerable regain.
I would strongly urge you to consider therapy and get back on track - this surgery really is a "miracle" for a few months but it doesn't last. What does last is habit and lifestyle changes and as you say, you have no where near embraced these.
It would be sad to see you back here next year bemoaning a 30-40lb regain - and believe me, this is wholly possible if not probable if we don't follow the rules!
Eating a kingsize portion of twizzlers and a pint of milk for a nightime snack will never constitute a workable RNY plan for a lifetime - a twizzler or two and one small glass of milk could be a part of a plan (although it wouldn't work for me in maintenance)!
Kim
You have got plenty of ra-ra posts and indeed, you have done a good job of losing 88lbs and becoming a runner - I envy you that!!!!
However ... you are still in your honeymoon period and yet you and your body are behaving as if you are in maintenance. I am concerned that once you stop malabsorbing (probably the next six months or so) your eating habits will push you into a considerable regain.
I would strongly urge you to consider therapy and get back on track - this surgery really is a "miracle" for a few months but it doesn't last. What does last is habit and lifestyle changes and as you say, you have no where near embraced these.
It would be sad to see you back here next year bemoaning a 30-40lb regain - and believe me, this is wholly possible if not probable if we don't follow the rules!
Eating a kingsize portion of twizzlers and a pint of milk for a nightime snack will never constitute a workable RNY plan for a lifetime - a twizzler or two and one small glass of milk could be a part of a plan (although it wouldn't work for me in maintenance)!
Kim
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
Thank you for this. I think you said what "Garfield" up there was driving at, but in a much more constructive, helpful way. :)
And you are probably right. I'm still on the fence about whether the whole malabsorption thing is true or not - I read the 2009 Harvard study - but if the malabsorption does exist and is what is keeping me from gaining weight right now, then you are right and I am in trouble if I don't make some changes.
I appreciate your advice.
And you are probably right. I'm still on the fence about whether the whole malabsorption thing is true or not - I read the 2009 Harvard study - but if the malabsorption does exist and is what is keeping me from gaining weight right now, then you are right and I am in trouble if I don't make some changes.
I appreciate your advice.
Jenny HW: 268 / SW: 254 / CW: 180 / GW: 140
First 5K: 4.21.2012 - Time: 34:45 - 2nd Place in age group
Second 5K: 6.2.2012 - Time 37:09
First 5K: 4.21.2012 - Time: 34:45 - 2nd Place in age group
Second 5K: 6.2.2012 - Time 37:09
I hate that study LOL!! If we were not designed to malabsorb, why oh why did my surgeon dissect and remove a part of my intestines? To ensure I malabsorb vitamins for the rest of my life?
I have absolutely no proof that I malabsorbed carbs or proteins, but my toilet held the evidence of my fat malabsorption every morning ... (and still does if I eat too much!)
I always say I could have sat on my sofa and eat bon bons every day during my first two years - I literally could eat ANYTHING and not put on an ounce (after losing 120lbs, and 120% of my excess weight!). Then one day ... I put on a pound and another day ... I put on a pound etc etc etc ...
I knew then that I had to rein in my laxer habits or I have no doubt I could have had a CONSIDERABLE regain. As it was I regained (or what is charmingly called - bounced back) the 20lbs I didn't need to lose and doubt I'll ever see those numbers on the scale again - and I'm not willing to starve myself to see!
I have made my lifestyle changes and I really do live them! I'm not perfect, who could be 8 years out and have never overeaten ****** (insert name of something tasty here)? But I know that at this stage in my journey and at this time of my life I have to stick with it - eat well, exercise habitually, and always be mindful ...
Good luck in the rest of your journey - now starts the hard part!!!!
I have absolutely no proof that I malabsorbed carbs or proteins, but my toilet held the evidence of my fat malabsorption every morning ... (and still does if I eat too much!)
I always say I could have sat on my sofa and eat bon bons every day during my first two years - I literally could eat ANYTHING and not put on an ounce (after losing 120lbs, and 120% of my excess weight!). Then one day ... I put on a pound and another day ... I put on a pound etc etc etc ...
I knew then that I had to rein in my laxer habits or I have no doubt I could have had a CONSIDERABLE regain. As it was I regained (or what is charmingly called - bounced back) the 20lbs I didn't need to lose and doubt I'll ever see those numbers on the scale again - and I'm not willing to starve myself to see!
I have made my lifestyle changes and I really do live them! I'm not perfect, who could be 8 years out and have never overeaten ****** (insert name of something tasty here)? But I know that at this stage in my journey and at this time of my life I have to stick with it - eat well, exercise habitually, and always be mindful ...
Good luck in the rest of your journey - now starts the hard part!!!!
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
I just wanted to tell you that your post brought me to tears... I am SO proud of you and your accomplishments! In my opinion, alot of what happens in your life depends on your attitude and you are heading in the right direction! I wish you the best!
Kristy 5'5" HW-224 SW-207 GW-140 Goal reached in 40 weeks! PRE-OP - 17 MTH 1 - 15 MTH 2 - 13 MTH 3 - 12 MTH 4 - 8 MTH 5 - 5 MTH 6 - 4 MTH 7 - 2 MTH 8 - 3 MTH 9 - 0 MTH 10 - 0
(deactivated member)
on 6/4/12 5:43 am - waukesha, WI
on 6/4/12 5:43 am - waukesha, WI
Thanks for posting............. I share your struggles.
Yes, we do all share your struggles or we wouldn't be here. I have always said that a goal is just a number picked straight out of the air. We change as we age and I have heard that a little weight gain is healthy for older people. That could be wrong...I don't know. I wish I could run but I can't today, maybe next month. I do think that body types are inherited and we can work like hell and never get that shape or ideal goal. Your realistic reasoning is appropriate and I think you will continue the progress with success.
I guess my advice would be not to look at the year as an end. This surgery is forever. It feels to me from your post that you feel that it's not or that you have "failed it like all others"
We constantly get the opportunity to make it right. No one is perfect but is is easier if you can find a way to make it work for YOU. What things make you feel successful? What things could you do that would increase that feeling?
For me daily movement has been a great thing. It allows me to keep my weight in range.
Eating protein first still works. When I don't do that I will have a crappy day of eating. It will be carbopoloza for the rest of the day.
You have two beautiful children. You are healthier now than you were a year ago. It's an ongoing journey toward health. A great benefit for me is the energy I have for my child.
Happy first and on your way to many more.
Deb T.
We constantly get the opportunity to make it right. No one is perfect but is is easier if you can find a way to make it work for YOU. What things make you feel successful? What things could you do that would increase that feeling?
For me daily movement has been a great thing. It allows me to keep my weight in range.
Eating protein first still works. When I don't do that I will have a crappy day of eating. It will be carbopoloza for the rest of the day.
You have two beautiful children. You are healthier now than you were a year ago. It's an ongoing journey toward health. A great benefit for me is the energy I have for my child.
Happy first and on your way to many more.
Deb T.
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