wedding pictures

atomic_bettie
on 9/28/11 2:01 pm - OK

My hubby and I were just married in May. Today, I was feeling nostalgic and took out the wedding pictures. For some reason, I got really sad looking at them...I keep thinking about how later on, when I've reached my goal that I will look back to our pics and see how unhappy and self conscious I was in that white strapless dress. And how, when we have a kid, is he even going to recognize his/her mom? Do I even want them to know who I was before surgery? Are they going to think differently of me? There is a part of me that wants to lock these pictures up and when I get to where I want to be to totally redo the wedding just so it's really ME in the pictures. Like, I don't want my kid when he's thirty to have a wedding photo of his dad and fat mom. /:). I have no idea why this is bothering me. It's almost like I'm wanting to create a new me and make the old me completely disappear and not to be thought of again. I know realistically that is not going to happen, but I'm seriously wanting to disassociate right now. Has anyone else felt this way when they look at old photos? If so, how did you cope? I guess I just need some insight.

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acbbrown
on 9/28/11 2:10 pm - Granada Hills, CA

VSG on 06/10/11

I can understand, but for me, my old photos are of WHO I AM. That has been my identity for so long that im still meeting the soon to be new me.

I look at my photos from my heaviest weight on a daily basis and have some on my phone that I look at constantly. It is a constant reminder of why I am doing this, and reminds me of the point to which I never want to return. My gym pass has a pic of me at my heaviest and I stare at it while I work out - when I feel like quitting, I look at who I used to be, and tell myself that's not who I am anymore, and im not a quitter, and im not going to go home and sit on the couch. Same thing when I feel like i have a craving for something - i look at the person who used to give in and indulge, and I make the decision to not be that person.

I never hated myself at my heaviest - i was more oblivious than anything, in major denial probably. I have no desire to hide that person - I would want my kids to know where ive been, and what ive learned, and hopefully pass that on. Id want them to know what happens when they each junk and sit all day. That's just me though - im not embarassed of my weight, but i dont want to return to that point.

Sorry for the long winded and kind of unrelated answer

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DrHollywood
on 9/28/11 2:21 pm - Harbor City, CA

VSG on 02/01/11

Awwww Hun.... I hear your shame. But be proud of you are you becoming and try to find some peace and acceptance with who you were on your wedding day. It can be a gift when you look at those photos. You dont ever have to go back if you dont want to today!

Another thing you both can do, is perhaps take more wedding photos when you get to goal.
Do you think that could be an option?

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atomic_bettie
on 9/28/11 2:36 pm - OK

VSG on 09/06/11

I've thought about just buying a cheap wedding dress and just take different pics. But, it just feels.....fake, I guess. I really don't know what is making me feel this way....I just thought rambling on would bring something to surface.

Maybe it's because we spent $2000.00 for photography and I am fat in them /:).

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Sweet_56
on 9/28/11 3:34 pm - Saskatchewan, Canada

VSG on 09/17/11

Not quite the same situation as you but.... I am getting married in the Dominican in Feb and I am very very worried about how the pictures will turn out... I will be about 5 months out at that point and its costing us quite a lot for the photography and wedding etc. I just want that day to be "Picture perfect" and I know its not going to matter what I wear or how I look 20 years down the road to anyone else, but it will still matter to me... *Sigh*

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kimbethin
on 9/28/11 3:47 pm - CA

VSG on 06/20/11

Maybe you could renew your vows for your anniversary in a beautiful dress with your future kids all around you in the pictures. Maybe you don't like what you looked like in the pics, but look at the ones with your husband looking at you. Does he look "in love"? You can't throw those pics away. Show your kids how hard you worked to change. What a good example you'll be for them. I don't have a lot of picture of me because I hate seeing them, but that is such a special day try to hold on to them and put a good spin on it.

putting one foot in front of the other...

atomic_bettie
on 9/28/11 3:59 pm - OK

VSG on 09/06/11

I'm not throwing them out and I felt pretty that day. I think what is bothering me is all the money we put into those pictures. Plus, I put a lot of stipulations on the photographer such as waist up as much as possible, no pictures of me sitting down, etc. Just kinda feel like it was all for nothing. Wow, that sounds bad.

As for the hubby, the first time he saw me during the "first peek" photo shoot, he said "holy ****" so I'm assuming it's a good thing. I'm so happy that I met him before surgery, so now I know that he will love me no matter what.

I've already talked to the photographer and we have it set up that once I reach my goal, I'm doing boudoir pics and I'm sure we will have fam photos. I just really wish I would have had this surgery five years ago when I first tried to do it. :). Thanks, ladies, for playing therapist for me tonight :).

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KarenP.
on 9/29/11 12:44 am - Augusta, GA

VSG on 06/20/11

I know what you mean... I was a size 24 when I got married 6 years ago. I've stayed around that size since then. I'm down 55 lbs. in 3 months. I feel better than I have in a very long time. I told someone before I even had the surgery that one of the things I want to do when I lose all my weight is to go and try on wedding dresses... I guess being a size 24 you can't find too many cute dresses. I couldn't even think about a strapless one. I can't wait to go try them on and take pictures of myself...

Jennchap
on 9/29/11 12:58 am, edited 9/29/11 1:00 am - CA

VSG on 01/27/11

Awe babe… I try to remind myself that who I was in a particular moment… well is who I was and my weight DOES NOT define me. Do I wish I was smoking hot in all my pics… **** YA… but I was still a-******g-mazing and I have to kind of just take it for what it is. I was at what would be a smaller size for myself when I got married.. I had bounced between 220 and 180 and was around 180 when I got married (2 weeks out from a miscarriage and a hot mess). Whats weird is when I looked at my wedding pics I felt thin as it was my thinnest as an adult but now I look at them and am like HOLY **** I was huge!! I think of the dresses I cold have worn… the kind of pics I could have taken… Like those ones where the groom is holding the bride

… Well next time I get married… lol… yes I said next time… I will be in something amazingly tiny/fitting and will love every moment of it. Although seeing as I was pretty ******g plastered within minutes of saying my vows I was pretty damn happy about the whole deal…. We should do a post with our wedding pics… and what we would wear now if we could do it over!!!!
Here I am drunk as **** and high on life at my Wedding in Vegas…

**PS… at big biggest… my kids didn't know it was me in my wedding pics cause I looked so different at 275.. that made me super sad :(

HW 275

SW 229

CW 136

J.e.t.
on 9/29/11 1:28 am

VSG on 09/01/11

Jenn, I think you were a vision of loveliness. Really, Now, if you get married again, and it's to Jimbo, you know you're expected to invite the entire forum, right? And please also give us a full report of the honeymoon. ;-)

HW 263, 3lbs lost prior to surgery, weight loss ticker is since surgery.

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