My husband's expectations on my weight loss

I am having a hard day. My husband and I had our first conversation last night about my surgery on Thursday. He hasn’t been supportive; so I was glad to have this conversation - well I thought I would be glad until I heard his outrageous expectations.

We were watching football and Faith Hill comes out singing in her size 0 black leather one piece suit thingy. My husband says “Oh man she’s hot, will you be that skinny"? I said, I will try. He then said something that just makes me sick. He asked me how long it will take to lose the weight. I said around 8 months to a year. He looked shocked and said he thought it would only take a month to lose the weight. He was like, why are we paying for this surgery if it will take you a whole year to lose the weight. Why don’t you just diet and exercise again?
 
I was “awe struck" and just left the room crying and didn’t talk to him the rest of the night. Drop 80 lbs in one month…really??? My husband has obviously laid out these unattainable expectations for me along with not being supportive and sugery is Thursday. Oh geez, this is going to be a long road. Thanks for listening to me vent!!

Dang! I'm sorry that he's being so close-minded.

Do this for you - NOT for him.

Hopefully he'll come around.

Good luck on Thursday.

wow he sounds really uneducated on it all..he needs to go to a seminar on WLS!

Hang in there...you should be able to lose a decent amount of weight. Hopefully he will change his opinion as he sees you losing weight.

I started off at size 18-22 depending on the brand...I am now mostly 8's, and have 1 size 6 skirt. I had been overweight all my life and don't remember ever being in the single digits. When (if) I can afford a tummy tuck, I'll surely be in 2-4-6 I would think. For reference, on surgery day, I was 194 lbs, size 16-18, today I am 135 lbs. It took me 6.5 months to get to my goal of 140, and I've maintained under that for 4.5 months now.

Urghhh I am so mad for you sweetie! I do have to wonder though if maybe he is just afraid. Guys have a really hard time expressing things sometimes and often they say rude crap in an attempt to get our attention that they are having a lot of emotions. Maybe he is trying to sabotage you because he is worried about surgery? The way he's acting is totally rude and childish but maybe its just him expressing. Maybe try sitting down with him and saying how that really made you feel bad and that this is something you need to do for you. He obviously married you for a reason. I don't have think he expects to be married to a barbie lookalike. I can't say he will change his attitude but try educating him more on the surgery and express why you are doing it.

I hope things get better! You'll do great on Thursday!

BOYS ARE STUPID THROW ROCKS AT THEM!

No, seriously!  It is hard for anyone that has never had a weight problem to understand how we feel and how hard it is, surgery or not, to lose the weight.  Try not to let him deter you from your goal and your expectations. Don't let his remarks get to you as hard as it is.  My hubby is supportive but he can still say some really dumb ass things.

One more thing...my bet is that once you start to lose that weight and start to look good and feel better his expectations for you to be a "Faith Hill" will start to diminish because he is going to find you more attractive I am sure.  My hubby now thinks I am the sexiest thing alive and I am FAR from a size 0.  And I think personally it is because I carry myself a bit differently too. 

Good luck on your upcoming surgery and remember YOU come first and hubby will soon follow :)

Okay, Okay..not all boys.  :P

Next time something so arrogant and ridiculous leaves his lips, push a mirror in front of him and ask him if he has seen perfect.. cause you havent.. buckle up.. he is going to be jealous!

What a tool!!! Seriously!!! I agree with Dawn....I just bet he has TONS of faults...does HE look like Tim McGraw???  I highly doubt it.

Why do overweight/obese/morbidly obese women put up with such arrogant BS from our significant others? Is it our own insecurities? Probably.  co-dependencies? Probably.

What does he think about how much healthier you will be? Is that a concern? Is it only about how you're going to look?

You need to stand up for yourself and focus on how you will feel -- NOT on how your husband is going to feel.  The surgery is about your health and wellness.  Looking "better" is a bonus...not the real issue!!!

Good luck on thursday.

Sorry if this comes across as bossy, but I just hate it when men take advantage like this.