100 pounds ---GONE

Jul 23, 2011

Yep, a few days ago, I finally lost my 100th pound.  It seemed to take forever to get there -- that last two weeks was pure torture because the scale decided it was time to take a pause, and do some catch up work.....Left me high and dry.....and pissed off !!!! 

But as I just finally relaxed and let it happen, a few ounces a day started drifting away.....sooooooo slowly.....but it happened. 

I have been trying to get myself to Curves 4x a week - this really seems to speed up my metabolism and I can and need to eat a little more, in order to lose weight.  Nothing bad about that ! 

Things so tough on the home front with loss of job, new lower paying job.....but still have the bills to pay.....but all in all my stress level is lower without the high stress job.  BP staying down with the loss of the high pressure job, so that is wonderful.  I feel so much better -- even with the financial stress.

I am happy and healthy; and today weighed 198.8.  So pleased with myself.  I'm still not used to myself in the mirror -- I don't really know who that woman is at all.  I have found myself glancing in the mirror as I walk by, and looking to see who is behind/next to me.....and realizing it's me. I haven't been this weight for many years.  It's hard to see myself as others do now. 

I had a conversation with a client (a newer client) about her weight.  She was commenting on how difficult it was to manage her diabetes, because of her weight.  She was bemoaning her health insurer - (the same HMO that I have !) that they were not supportive......(and I'm thinking to myself -- lady -- look who you are talking to !) and then realized that I am looking fairly "normal" these days....yes, I am still clinically obese, but she is much heavier than I now......I had to take a reassessment as to how I  "use myself" as a therapist, as I lose this weight.   Interesting.  Had not thought of this previously.  --- That my outsides no longer "match" how I see myself -- and more importantly how others see me. Time to do some thinking, some talking with colleagues, maybe a few meetings with a therapist to some point to work it out myself.....

Changes. 

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