Following Surgery Desires!

Mar 12, 2012

1. Rollercoasters!!!  Omg… I love them.  I have been on a couple in the past decade or so – but each fun experience has been marred by my weight.  It’s incredibly hard to fit in the seat, and then if the belt doesn’t strap right, or the bar doesn’t come down, or the overhead restraint squishes but doesn’t seem closed… ugh – just terrible.  And my worst time: Sitting on any amusement park ride with my kids and the bar that is supposed to go across both of us doesn’t fit…

2. Tying my shoes.  I don’t.  Not on a regular basis anyways.  I usually tie them once and then leave them that way until they become untied on their own.  It make me out of breath to try and tie my shoes.

3. Shoes in general.  I can’t wait for my feet to be smaller.  They are just blocks right now.  So if I buy a larger size to accommodate the width and depth – the length is way off.  And if the shoe zips, I am out of breath and sweating my ass off after trying to get one on.

4. Sweating for exercise – and not for EVERYTHING.  I swear, I can’t get ready for a decent night out without sweating through the prep period.  Doing my hair and makeup is an adventure.  I then get dressed.  Because of the sweating, I wear an extra-extra strength anti-perspirant and deodorant.

5. Flying.  I hated not fitting in the seat.  I just barely could buckle the buckle, but the looks I would get from people sitting next to me.  And when I flew overseas, omg, that was a nightmare.  That long with the seat arm digging into me, I thought I was going to be sick.  Needless to say, I got no sleep and was more jet lagged than ever. 

6. Playing with my kids.  My son has vague memories of me chasing him around the yard during one of my many crash diet low weights.  My daughter doesn’t have any.  She tells people that this surgery will mean her mommy can play with her again.  I hope so.

7. Shopping.  I have enough clothes in bins to keep me for a while.  At least down two sizes, and maybe another.  But I can’t wait to get into the even lower sizes and go shopping.  Being short and overweight, I am shaped like a pear.  Not top – all over mess from the chest down.   It didn’t seem fair that I could be overweight and never seem to get the bigger breasts.  Lol.  No plus size tops fit me well.  Shopping leaves me depressed and agitated.  Dresses are a misery, but don’t get me started on the suits!

8. Swimwear.  I hate it… absolutely hate it.  I know it may be a very long time before I like it again, and I tell you… that’s fine with me.  It may be possible that I will always hate it.   But if I could at least learn to be comfortable at the pool, that will be enough.

9. Rollerskating.  I enjoy taking my daughter skating.  But once around the rink and I am out of breath.  And gods forbid if I fall.  I want to go for a couple of hours with my little girl and have just as much fun as she is!

10.  Chairs.  I don’t know if this has happened to someone else recently, but I broke a fricking plastic lawn chair.  It might not have been so bad if we hadn’t been at a place with at least 100 other people.  My kids and fiancé were there.  I was mortified for myself and felt like crying.  But I was also mortified that my fiancé and kids had to share in my embarrassment.

11.  Public Seating.  Pretty much anywhere.  I always have the problem of my feet hitting the floor wherever, but when the weight of my own legs cuts off circulation, that just makes it worse.  Not to mention the fact that I barely fit into the chairs width wise.

12. My beach bike.  I bought that thing cuz we moved here to Cali and I love the beaches.  But after getting on it and seeing what my size did to the tires, I haven’t used it much at all. 

13. NO more funny/nasty looks or name-calling.  One of my worst memories was sitting at a hair wrapping booth at an amusement park.  A couple of jerks walked by making animal calls and noises.  It was humiliating.  The hair dresser even snickered.  I didn’t tip her.

I guess this is it for now, the dirty baker’s dozen of what I hope is in my future.  My near (more than ever) future. 

0 Comments