lookinglass
Feeling better
Jun 16, 2015
I woke up this morning feeling like my body had finally gotten a hold of whatever it was that was making me feel bad. Ceromas aren't uncommon, it's still there, but I've been feeling a tightness in my abdomen that has felt like someone gripping me and not letting go. It felt better to massage and stretch but I just didn't feel great in my body. Mentally I've been fine but physically my body seems to have been in shock. I woke up this morning feeling lighter, I felt like my body beat down whatever was making me unwell and now that I don't feel it, it's amazing just how unwell I was feeling. It took awhile to figure it out but the tightness in my abdomen is gone. The incision with the ceroma is tender but no more than one would expect. I'm so thankful the antibiotics kept any and everything at bay so my body could gain strength and now that I'm off of them a few days I'm strong enough to fight whatever was making me feel unwell. I'm also starting to sleep a bit better. I've had bad insomnia, a side effect of stopping and starting one of my meds and it's finally easing.
Weight loss wise it's slow. Looks like I'm averaging .5 - 1lb per day and it seems to be getting slower. I wonder if I'm starting to slide into a stall. I'm trying to prepare myself for The Stall, which seems to happen to everyone. My birthday is the end of next month. If I can average a 5lb weight loss per week I'd loose 30-ish lbs and be in the 220's range. I cannot imagine that. To be 220's on my birthday would be incredible. It seems so impossible, but with this tool it is.
In some ways it feels like I'm loosing this self created costume and I'm finally making it possible to let everyone see me, not the fat first clown, but just me. It's both scary and wonderful.