lookinglass
Going for goals
Dec 28, 2015
So...slow looser that I feel, I'm down 83 lbs. I've started working out regularily. I'm no gym rat but I'm finding if I just say ok, today Im going to go to the gym and I'm not going to worry about tomorrow then I don't get overwhelmed. I'm also trying to make the best out of my last week off work. I figure it's super hard for me to get in my workout during my regular work schedule (cuz I don't want to get up at 5 am and who wants to work out after work when they're tired?), so I'm going to do what I can to get in as many workouts as possible. I've been minding my food, slowly loosing and it's been a slow loss process but I am loosing inches.
I added up all my inches lost since I started and it's 46.5 inches lost on my body. I'm starting to see the change. Had to use 4 safety pins to keep my workout pants around my hips so later went to Macy's today to buy new pants and Walmart for cheap work out clothes. I decided to buy a 16 so I could "grow/shrink" into them. I figured they'd be way too tight. I figured wrong. I tried on several different designers because we all know that designers have ranges and all the 16's fit. I mean...seriously? And I bought a 1x sweater. I was so inspired I went home and tried on one of my old latex tops I had tucked away from another ice age. Oh man...I forgot how good latex feels. When I took the pic and then compared it to my before picture I was shocked. I finally am seeing the change. Finally. My before picture is 10lbs lighter than my surgery weight. My after picture is today. It's so strange that when I look at myself in the mirror 99% of the time I see the before, not the after. Finally I'm seeing the after and I'm getting excited. I'm excited to see the protective shell I used to keep people away disolve and another part of me emerge. A me I've never seen before. Since puberty hit and the pcos was activated I've never been "thin". I've never seen my adult self as a healthy weight. Only once was I briefly this size many years ago. This. It's a healthier version of me physically and I think mentally. This surgery has forced me to really look at my food and how my brain uses it to self medicate myself. And if I show just a bit of cleavage, it's not an effort to be slutty, it's a realization that I am a sexual creature and look at that...I've got great boobs! Go me and positive self esteem happening!
*In the interest of full disclosure..my boobs really aren't this great looking. That is the power of latex and it's ability to mold your body into perky shapes. Too bad latex isn't appropriate for every day wear.