Blueberry81

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Saw my surgeon today and he stressed me out. He changed my meds and stated if no improvement he wants to do a barium test and another scope.

Then he says he thinks he will most likely do revision surgery on me....

Huh? What? Why? No! Are my responses.

He's like i did the sleeve to better your life not to make you feel worse. You can't live like this for months. You cant work or function well so i want to do revision if no improvement ok. I need you to lose another 10 to 20lbs. 

In my head i started to have a meltdown like what? Why? I mentally and physically can't handle this as im drained. What will i do? How will my quality of life be? Maybe i can just live with the GERD and pain. Why do i have to be the 0.97% of patients that have ridiculous complications? 

My response to him. I really don't want to have another surgery and i just want to live life. I was better off before surgery.

I walked out having a mild panic attack holding back the vomit wondering why did i make this choice again? The answer so that i will live to see my kids married and be able to enjoy my grandchildren some day.

My heart is so heavy! I won't cry i won't eat i will just try and bare the pain and discomfort until it goes away....

This weight loss means absolutely nothing if i don't have life that i can enjoy....

Frustratedly yours,

Blue

Oh my my my.... my poor stomach.  I can't seem to find anything to eat or drink that's nutritional.

My only go to foods are melba toast/crackers.  Oh and Popsicle star wars ice pops that are 20 calories.

My acid won't stop rising and the noises coming from my abdominal area sounds like someones fighting inside.

Took me 12 hrs to finish one protein shake. Nausea sucks but hopefully tomorrow my surgeon will have some answers.....

1 month since surgery and i have lost 20lbs. I didn't know what to expect but i think i was hoping for a bigger drop.  The nurse says each person is different and there's no recommended amount to lose monthly. I read 10 lbs a month is good but the nurse doesn't agree.

Hmmm food for thought!

So i went to the hospital may 25th with heartburn and thinking i just needed bettera meds.   Needless tp say i didn't come until the 30th and then wenr back on the 31st and they kept me for extra testing. 

End result along with my pancreatitis. I had to do a scope that found i had narrowing of the incisura and i have milg GERD thats preventing me from eating now......

What a week now i have to go see my surgeon in 5 days...

GERD is horrible. I'm back to liquid diet and soups and sometimes a cracker....

I'm so hungry but my chest won't stop burning....

I am so hungry. I feel like I'm starving.  I have no energy and i just can't eat enough to hold me over.....

Its such an odd feeling to eat 2 teaspoons of anything and be full and then 2 hrs after be hungry again. 

So all i have been doing is sleeping in an upright position as this heartburn gets worse the hungrier i am....

Life is funny... so many people say they dont ever feel hungry. I kind of wish that was me.

Meh such is life!

What i have learned is i love food puree or solid i just love food....

Made the kids parmesan chicken and mini potatoes in the oven yesterday and blended it but it didn't agree with me.

I learned green leafy veggies cause excess gas.. you may want to invest in gas x strips.

Oatmeal is very very heavy could only have 1 teaspoon....

Lastly blended soup with chicken potatoe squash and bok choi is amazing... goes down smooth but the grease from chicken flares up my heartburn but its so worth it..... now i know to skim the top of the soup off before blending....

Happy Eating......

Its been a crazy recovery for me.  Been in and out of the hospital as I've not been well. I have been dehydrated, in tremendous pain and developed pancreatitis. 

Despite everything i have been trying to be a good mom. By setting an example for my daughters by walking in the house and cooking healthy meals. Taking my meds, making sure they get their meds and doing household stuff.

But its taking a toll on me.  The pain hasn't eased up enough and now I'm in bed unable to move properly.   Plus this head cold is making everything harder. I am not giving up but who knew the struggle was so real.

I am finally trying to eat food but most don't agree with me. I did enjoy crackers and melba toast this weekend.  Squash soup was hard on me. Oh and meats are a no go. I did poach an egg it was crazy i couldn't eat it all.  Before VSG I'd have 2 eggs bacon and 2 slices of texas toast.  Its such a change. Its amazing. I was able to have 3 baby spooms of oatmeal but its very heavy on the stomach. 

Still haven't become regular in the bathroom department but I guess that will COME!Lol lol...

So if you recently had surgery follow your medication schedule... i take 1 stool softner in the morning and 2 laxatives before bed...

I finally went #2 today.... i suggest you take a book listen to music as its a process.... also i found propping my feet on a low step stool eased the discomfort as the bowel movement came.

Don't forget to drink your n have a great day..

Ok so i thought when i had my children i had experienced heartburn but i was wrong.

After the sleeve it feels like acid is constantly rising in my chest regardless of wether or not i have eaten.  I have now been given medication that seems to lessen the severity. But women if you have big breasts i suggest you invest in a few good sports bras so those tatas are not resting on your stomach and so that you can allow yourself to heal in comfort. 

I find using a support cushion for my stomach so i can lay down on my side reduces the amount of acid i wake up with also.

Don't forget to take your reflux medication regularlyand it will get better.....

So i released myself from the hospital as it was not a great experience being on the geriatric ward. I took an hr long taxi ride to my moms which is down the street from me.  It was so uncomfortable.  From trying to maneuver into the taxi, all the potholes in the road, breaking at lights. I felt like my organs were displaced by the time i arrived.

When i arrived my dad had come by to welcome me back and make sure i was in one piece.  I tried to get comfy but it was so hard. I sat at my moms impatiently waiting for my medication to be delivered as i was in pain.  My kids got there before the meds and i knew i was in trouble.  My 3 yr old jumped on me in excitement and asked if i waa really there. My 10 yr old walked through the doors in a mood crying.  But it was nice to just see them again.

6 hrs after waiting for my prescriptions they finally arrived.  My 10 yr old and I packed up. Put our bags on our back and commenced walking home. This was the 1st time in my life being so winded.  The 3 minute walk turned into 10 minutes.  I felt horrible for my oldest daughter as she struggled to snail pace with me home. But i told her go ahead and do what she wants.  She was sweet ran put her stuff on the step came back grabbed my bag. I finally got to my steps and struggled to get up the 5 steps into the house.

No one tells you breathing will hurt, each step is a struggle,  sitting and getting up needs to be practiced or that you may be too winded after lifting your leg into the shower to actually stand up and shower....

But we made it threw the evening. I slept pretty well though turning has now become an uneventful event at night time.

One thing i learned is don't wait until you are IN pain to take your meds and pan your day so that you can accomplish things as your pain meds kick in.

Keeping it real 100% as there's a lot of things i never knew....

Next blog is n heartburn...... see you then 

Its 2 48am I'm still in the hospital.   The pain is ridiculous and my heartburnis not easing up.  If i could find a position to sleep in it would be lovely.

I would like to be home but I know I'm better off here.

I hope whoever reads this understands I'm just keeping my experience real. It hurts to pass gas.  Still haven't gone #2 since surgery though im on stool softners. Everytime i bloe my nose, cough phlegm up or go pee there's fresh blood.

It's so annoying.  By the way if you drink cold liquid you can feel it as it goes all the way down to your small intestine therefore if something doesn't agree with your new stomach you know right away.

On the upside I'm not aswinded when i walk and i am standing a bit straighter on my own. 

1 piece of advice if you are going to sneeze hold your belly tightly with your hands.  It helps a lot.

Night yall...