New Decade on the Horizon

Nov 21, 2011

I am 190 pounds. This feels amazing and I am starting to really feel comfortable in my own skin. The visit with my ex is going super well......too well in fact. I know I look great and I feel great and this too will pass.
We spent the weekend in Victoria and had a great time. It was a little crowded with so many of us in the small suite but that's ok. Next time I will book two seperate rooms if we all go together.
Oh the feelings this visit is conjuring up for me. I still have feelings for him but not sure that I want to make myself available to sharing them. That would make me too vulnerable and I don't want to go there again. Trust is a huge issue between us given the water under our bridges.  We have barely had much sleep and for the past week, we have been surviving on barely five hours a night. We have been talking about way too much stuff and feelings we have. I am ready to take a chance but not sure that he is emotionally available. I just can't risk my heart breaking again.
That being said, I will be in the 180's next week if all goes well!!!!!!!!!

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