catherineangel
I am the 7 of 9 children. My family was not perfect...far from it. A father whom I loved, but his passions and life style took him away from one family at one time or another. My mom, has always been overbearing, oversuffocating, but always there for her kids.
I was a chubby baby. A chubby toddler, a cute chubby caravan student. Then I started to grow into a fat pre-teen. My father who would feed me constant sweets and anything else I wanted, realised that the appetite that he had created had taken on a life of its own. I wanted food. When I was denied it, I felt rejected and un loved. I could not understand why he was telling me to watch I was eating. I did not understand. To me it translated into him not loving me. I ignored him.
At 13 he started saying to me to eat less. Cut my plate in half. I had no idea what he was talking about. 13 years of bad habits and always getting my way led to a rebellious teenager. I began trying to watch what I ate, but with no success. I was active, running, playing, jumping rope with friends, going out. I was popular. Fat or not. I was cute.
13 years old, led to 16 years old. Still fat. Liking boys was put in the back of my mind. I liked a lot of boys. Boys at church mostly, well this one boy at church. :) I was too fat for him, even though I had a fantastic figure.
16 years old led to diets, fasting for religious purposes. I would lose and re-gain - a story like many others I suppose. Finally after going on the mission field for one year and being rejected again by a guy because of my weight, I fell sick. My parents brought me to a nutritionist and a herbalist. WOW! At 21 I was 135 pounds. I had no idea what that meant.
I was outside of my body. I was never in touch with me. The real me. I just knew that I loved to exercise. I watched what I ate and I was not in bed sleeping from exhausation. I was out rollerblading.
Reality hit. I needed a job. I found work and started to re-gain the weight... slowly. Diet, after diet, after diet....
Many diets later I am 443 pounds and sick and tired of being sick and tired. Married last year to a wonderful husband (we've had our run ins) who hasn't? I am ready to take back my life, even if it means doing this surgery.
