The last fifty pounds or so

Sep 03, 2012

 For most people, the gripe is about the last 10 pounds, for me it's about the last 50 pounds. For the past six months I've battled with the scale. I've lost a ton of weight but so desperately want to get down to 200 pounds that i am becoming obsessed and nervous that I may never get there. I know i have to relax about it because the stress does not help- neither does not being able to move as quickly as I used to 9 months ago. 9 months ago i fell ill and was eventually diagnosed with a virus that attacked my peripheral nervous system and contributed to balance issues- it seems unfair that after losing all this weight and gaining back my independence that i would be semi-confined to the house unable to drive at least for now and have therapy every other day. It seems strange to me and a little upsetting.  I have tried to keep the perspective- keep my eyes on the goal, journaling water intake the fact that most of my clothes are now an xl...which in itself is a huge accomplishment- but some days I can't help but feel cheated, cheated of the joy that comes with losing all this weight Still I will persevere to my goal- my birthday is a couple of months away and i look forward to reporting at least a 10-20 pound weight loss by then. Fiingers crossed.

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