catherineangel
Two years post-op and it's still a daily challenge
Aug 31, 2012
So i haven't blogged for a while. like most of you my struggle with food is an ongoing one. This journey has been so much of a blessing, but so much of a daily discipline and challenge that sometimes the blessing gets blurred. Some of my weight loss goals have stalled because of some unexpected health issues, but I should not use that as an excuse. I have a powerful tool that helps me and signals to me when i am content. Listening to that is a challenge, but I am determined to get used to it. My weight is 256 as of today. Coming from where I was, that's a hell of an accomplishment, but as true to my form, I beat myself up about it. I chastise myself to do better and that stress does not help with the weight loss-Mind you I was asleep 10 mins ago and got a craving for something to eat. It's been two years since my surgery and i don't ever get up in the middle of the night to eat anymore, but recently old behaviours have been triggered and although i don't give in they are there none the less. So instead of eating I sucked on two werther's orginals sugarfree coffed candies- that did the trick. My 37 birthday is coming up and I really want to be at least 10 pound slimmer by then so that has given me something to work towards. It took a while for me to get used to my new 200 pound and change body becasue although in my mind I've always been a sexy vixen, the clothes I could wear at 400 pounds greatly hindered that. I found a picture of myself from costco that I took two years ago and I could not recognized the woman in that photo- that woman had no neck and looked sad, this woman has a neck and smiles. So two years post op my rny surgery is doing what it's supposed to do limit my eating and I am sure glad it does- although i can eat alot more than i could 8 months ago because it took a long while for my pouch to stretch to a comfortable place i am so grateful for the life lessons i've learned and i am still learning a long the way. This is for the rest of my life- it is a marathon, not a sprint, drink lots of water, eat healthy portions and the rest will take care of itself. So I will journal here again- it will continue to remind me why I did this to begin with- for a healthier better me.
