chimeraboo

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K so its been awhile.  My goal was to be 225 by this weekend.  As of this morning I weigh 232.8 lbs. I am not upset.  I also had a goal of getting into a size 16 comfortably and I am indeed a 16!   I have been doing a lot of weight training this past month and the weight loss has pretty much been at a standstill.  I think its because I'm building muscle mass and it is replacing the fat (i.e I lost inches but not weight). I'll take it!  Its really helping me to stop focusing on he scale so much, but to focus on the non scale results...smaller sizes, better fitness, improved health.  I still want to meet my goal though, but Im going to give myself sufficient time to meet it.  i'm going on a cruise on August 14th, and doggone it, I want to be 225 or lighter by time I do!  Until next time..peace.

Weight from last week:  247.2 lbs

Hooray! I've surpassed my goal of 250lbs.  Next goal: 225 lbs! I hope to be there by July 4th.  Not for any particular reason, just because I generally like to lost 25lbs every 10 wees. It's kind of a personal, unofficial goal I have set for myself.  This milestone of getting under 250 lbs is kind of a big one for me.  I always aaid if I ever got under 250 I would get into a martial arts class.  I've always wanted to do that.  I've always been too big, even as a kid.  Now I believe I can do it, and its suppose to be really good for getting into shape.  I always wanted to do Kung Fu, but Its not offered too much around here, so maybe tae kwon do would be better. I'm also considering Krav Maga which is supposed to be for self defense too.

NSVs:  I recently started teaching 1st grade Children's church.  I would NEVER have done that if I was larger.  My confidence was very low, and I was scared one of the kids would make a comment about my weight.  I tell you, 1st graders are a challenging group, but I feel like I learn as much from them as they hopefully learn from me. 

I was able to buy xxL tshirts from target. This is huge.  I could NEVER wear clothes from target before.  These shirts are very form fitting, and honestly I think they are small for a 2x but they fit!

I can walk for leisure at lunch time and I love it! When the weather is perfect (sunshine with just a slight springtime nip in the air) I walk all over downtown, exploring different areas.  As a person who used to hop in a dar just to drive a few blocks, this is a great accomplishment.

GOALS:  I am still trying to get my protein and water in. I really suck at getting my water in!  i don't know what to do except pay more attention and swear off non-water drinks.  I'm trying to get my protein in by sipping on protein drinks for snacks.  My exercise has tapered off, but I'm hitting the gym hard this week! Hopefully by the next update I will also be involded in martial arts.

252.8 lbs.  Not the greatest these last 2 weeks, but every pound off helps.  My 6 month surgiversary was yesterday.  If I keep losing at the same pace, I should be down about 120 - 130 lbs by my 1 year anniversary.  I have been dealing with higher blood pressures these last 2 weeks. I went to the doctor and they discovered my blood pressure is sky high even with the meds I was on prior to surgery.  The doctor threatened to put me in the hospital because she was concerned I could have a stroke or heart attack.  I have had high blood pressure since I was 12 years old.  I've been on regular meds for it since I was 18.  My blood pressure has been going up since having weight loss surgery.  I saw my surgeon on Friday and he was surprised that my bp was getting higher instead of going down.  I think its because my medicine is not absorbing properly.  There isn't enough info on the SADI (my WLS) to know if this is true.  So unlike other WLS patients, I am now on triple the original dose of my meds.  I was told I had to take it easy and miss ZUMBA for a week, but I went back to ZUMBA this past week.I love it.  My surgeon told me I need to be eating more protein to speed up the weight loss, although he was very pleased with my progress.  So to maximize my weight loss i will try my best to focus on amping up my protein ( the thought of this makes my stomach churn, I am not hungry).  I'm going to try the unflavored protein (Unjury) on my food.  I suppose I can put it to the test.  We'll see what the scale says in 2 weeks.  Until next time...peace.

Didn't check in last weigh-in because my weight only changed by 1lb (I blame it on my menstrual cycle.  The carb cravings and appetite were ravenous, but I digress). I did my latest weigh-in on Thursday since I wasn't going to be home on Friday.  My weight is now 255.2 lbs!   It feels so good to be in the 250s.  I always said from the very beginning that as long as I got to 250, I would be happy.  Some call it lowered expectations, perhaps it is, but after failing with the band, I wanted to keep my goals in perspective.  I am so thankful to be only 5 lbs from this goal.  i hope to lose even more weight.  I'd love to be under 200 lbs. but I prefer making small attainable goals as opposed to having one big ultimate goal. My goal in the next 2-4 weeks is get to 250 lbs.  I am really going to focus on diversifying my workouts, drinking my water...which is still a huge challenge for me, and concentrating on my protein intake.  I had a big NSV (non-scale victory) yesterday.  I got into a size 18 pants yesterday! I haven't gotten into a size 18 since 7th grade!  I also got into a 1x shirt. This is a huge victory for me since I started at a size 26 and 3x-4x.

Weight today: 262.6 lbs. I like it  !     I have been really lax with the gym these past 2 weeks, but I don't own all the blame for that, the weather where I live has been pretty severe for most of the last 2 week.  I am very grateful to have lost 6 lbs despite that.  I have been experimenting a little bit with learning to run.  I have never been a runner, even as a kid.  My trainer told me I should do sprints on the treadmill for 15 seconds and then walk for a minute and keep alternating.  I like it, it amps up the calorie burning.  

I also experienced a non-scale victory.  I got into a size 20! Down from a size 26. I haven't been in a size 20 since high school.   I also was able to get into 18/20 panties.  It's so hard to see results in the mirror for me, but the clothes sizes don't lie.  Still though, it's weird.  How is it that I can wear a 26 or 24 without the clothes falling off and still wear a 20 too?  I mean granted 24/26 fit baggy, but they stay on.  This makes it hard for me to let go of my higher sized clothes.  I'm slowly letting them go, but it's just not easy.  Thankfully my mother in law is about one size larger than me so I let her borrow my old clothes until she drops a size.  I really want to donate to the less fortunate. Anyways that's all for now!, stay blessed!

So it's been 2 weeks, and I'm down 8 lbs! I reached (and surpassed) my goal of getting under 275 lbs.  Weight today 268.8 lbs.  My next goal is to get under 250 lbs  I can't recall ever weighing less than 270 lbs. I wish I could say I've been hitting the gym hard...I have definitely tried to exercise more but there is still lots of room for improvement.  Same with my diet.  I am noticing I can eat more so. Try hard to portion control.  I don't want anything to sabotage my weight loss. It was very freeing to limit my weighing on the scale.  I need my control back.  I got it.  I could've waited longer to weigh, for now I will keep it at 2 weeks.  For the next 2 weeks I will concentrate on what goes into my mouth and how I move my body.  I want to really work more protein rich snacks into my diet and limit my carbs. I hope I can report similar or even better results in 2 weeks. 

As promised, I'm reporting the bad and the ugly.  My weight is 276.8 lbs! I have gained 1.6 lbs since last Friday.  I've been told that it's probably because I gained muscle from working out this week (it's been awhile since I've been back in the gym).  That very well might be, but in the absence of evidence to support the muscle theory, I refuse to make excuses for my gain. My scale is supposed to measure body composition in terms of body fat%, but It never changes it's percentages!   If I've lost 42 lbs I would expect body fat % to be changing.  If it's muscle, my metabolism should be better and I should see some loss when I weigh in 2 weeks.

In the meanwhile, I accept what the scale says for what it is and I am going to work my tool with all my might for the next 2 weeks.   I am going to track all my food daily, do 2 days of water aerobics and 2 days of cardio and weights, get 5000+ steps in per day and increase my water intake to at least 90oz (I was told by someone yesterday that I should be drinking half my body weight in water..I will have to work up to that).  I have my meals planned out and will be eating on schedule.  Most importantly I'm going to pray that these efforts will result in some noticeable weight loss in the next 2 weeks, but in case it doesn't, I'm going to take measurements too.  I will report my results in 2 weeks.  Until next time, God bless!

Yesterday evening I stepped on the scale to get an unofficial weight to see if my exercise and tighter restriction on eating carbs was paying off.  It wasn't.  The scale says I gained a pound between last Friday and yesterday.  Immediately my mood changed. I went from being optimistic about my weight loss and the efforts I've put forth this week to feeling depressed and discouraged and wondering why I even bother to do the things I am supposed to do to make this tool work.  I just don't get it.  What am I doing wrong? My goal to be at 275 is tomorrow morning and last Friday I was so close, only 0.2 lbs away.  Tomorrow I wonder if I'm going to meet my goal or not.  If I don't, I may feel like a failure. It was right around this weight with the band that I started regaining weight.  I don't want that to be the case this time.  I haven't been below 270 since I was in high school.

I was reading my Bible last night and this phrase jumped out at me: " trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God" I Corinthians 2:5. So, that had me thinking maybe I'm dwelling too much on the numbers instead of just doing what I'm supposed to do to the very best of my ability and trusting God (and my tool) to do the rest.  I can't force my tool to do more than it was designed to do, but maybe God can.  I always pray that He will help me get this weight off, maybe I'm just too focused on the numbers.  I talked to a lady today who said now that she has removed the scale from her house she is able to focus more on getting her eating and exercise right and working at it with all her might.  That's what I feel I need to do.  I'm not removing the scale from my house, but I'm putting it away and weighing myself only once every 2 weeks.  I need my sanity back.  The scale makes me anxious all the time.  Why do I give it the power to destroy my day? Who says I am supposed to lose weight every week? Maybe I'm supposed to drop weight every week and a half or 2 weeks.  Maybe my expectations need to be adjusted. 

I am am going to weigh myself tomorrow and record the results on here whether it's good bad or ugly, and then I won't weigh again until February 13th.  Naturally I have some concerns about suddenly gaining 5 lbs and not knowing about it for 2 weeks, but to regain my mental health while diligently working at creating good exercise and eating habits is worth the risk.  My psych told me in my first post op visit that I should focus on doing my part and letting the tool do it's part, so I'm giving this a shot at least for a month.  Hopefully this will relieve me of the anxiety I constantly feel about losing weight.

Very disappointed.  I feel let down down.  A little discouraged, but a bit determined to do better next week.  My weight is only 275.2.  I only lost ONE measly pound this week!   I need to amp up the water, decrease the carbs, its not  because I skipped any meals I don't think and I worked out this week (next week I'm going to work out more, and utilize my fitbit).  Perhaps I need to start tracking food.  I'm not sure.  I just want to be under 275.  Hell, I want to be in the 260's.  The lowest I've ever been in my adult life is 270.  That was from working with a personal trainer.  Every once in awhile I worry that my weight loss is going to suddenly stop and then I will just be fat for the rest of my life.  I think its lap band PTSD. Anyways don't want to linger on my negative feelings. I just need to be about the business of doing my part to get this weight off. 0.2 lbs from my short-term goal of 275.

Weight 276.2

its my own fault. I let carbs get the best of me this week and I've been skipping meals.  My hunger is crazy this week. I don't understand why.  I feel like I could eat a walrus. Oh well next week I WILL hit my goal (in fact I will surpass it).