Coming back online

Jun 27, 2016

Coming back online after a 2 yr hiatus. A lot has happened since last posted here. Life threw a few punches at me, I lost some folks I care about along the way and I used that as an excuse to fall back into bad eating habits and drinking. I numbed myself up real good and ignored the scale and my family wallered in my own self-pity for quite some time. When I finally came to my senses, I realized that not only had not reached my goal, but I had packed on 60lbs, before hitting my 5 yr mark. I basically went mustang for about  1 year. I'm lucky it was only 60lbs and not more. I turned myself into my bariatric, team and we came up with a plan to lose the regain and to go for hitting my goal weight, so far I've lost 50lbs of the weight I regained. I'm eating right and exercising daily. I love being outside, I can't seem to get enough of it. I run, walk, and bike all over the place. I'm also learning to love lifting weights. I joined OH the day after my surgery was completed, in the beginning, I used it as a lifeline to help me overcome anything I had not foreseen. There are a few vets that are a constant around here that I have gained lots of knowledge from reading their thoughts and tips. I don't always agree with everything they say, but I very much respect them as people and for what they have accomplished. Losing the weight is easy keeping it off is the art we all have to learn to manage. As they say this not a race it's not even a marathon it's a lifestyle we have to change as people and accept that this is the life we have chosen to live. It's not that we can't go back to the way things were before our procedures we sure can do that it will suck but we can,we can gain all the weight back if we so chose to do so, or we can conform to our new reality accept that these are lifestyle changes that need to be permanent and the rule, not the exception. It may seem like the hardest thing to do for some, it's not though it's all in your head flip the switch change survive, thrive and enjoy life.

Another thing I think I did wrong was postponing happiness until I reached a certain weight or pant size. I viewed weight loss as grueling and slow process not to be enjoyed, but  a necessary although, unpleasant requirement to reach my eventual happiness. It never even once  occurred to me that, the journey, not the goal was where I would find my happiness. What I mean by that is that I needed to pay attention to what it takes to get to goal and not fight and loath it at every turn, but to instead refine it learn what works for me listen to my body and my stomach. This is a lifestyle it's not going end if you want to stay healthy you will need to eat, and exercise both your brain and your body to stay healthy. You may be able to enjoy a special treat here and there. Maintenance is the name of the game folks or life as I like to call it. What's changed about me? I'm not just eating what I'm told to eat by my plan or others, I'm actively listening to my body as I eat, does this taste good? How does it make my body feel, am I full should I stop eating now?  I eat alone and not with the family, I have a goal to change that. I may not be eating what they are eating be we can have the meal together. Isolation is not the answer, I can't do this alone and I can't alienate my family to reach my goal we shall reach it together stronger as a family. When I exercise outside I'm not just going for time or distance. I'm looking around, I'm taking time, to appreciate the  blue sky the green grass, the trees , the other people I see along the way. I'm living in the moment and I'm realizing what a great gift it is to be to be out there. I feel alive and part of the world again. 

Another thing I've battled is procrastinating. I have what the psychologists call perfectionism procrastination. What's that mean, well it means that I put off doing things indefinitely if I can't be perfect at it. Say I, set a goal to run 5 days week for no less than 1hour each day and X amount of miles, if I don't make that goal one day I throw my hands up in the air and just quit. I don't finish the day and I just scrap the whole week. Here's the thing I'm not perfect not even close. I never will be, so how I could end with this is beyond me, but knowing is half the battle. So I've decided to allow myself to be perfect at not being perfect. If I miss a day or string of days of exercise or don't hit my self-imposed levels of excellence in my workout I will just let it go and the next day is a new day I'll hit reset and start to build another string of days together where I do hit my goals. I'll do the same thing with eating, oh no I had a cookie well guess I'll eat the whole bag and screw it, tomorrow I'll have another bag, nope that's not gonna happen. I'll log my cookie or cookies and then right then and there and I 'll start again with the plan not, tomorrow, not at the bottom of the bag, but right then and there after I've eaten that cookie or whatever it was that is off plan. At least that's what has been working for me so far. Your mileage may very, as human beings we are all unique individuals we have different strengths and weakness that's what makes us human. What works for me may not work for you or maybe it will or maybe just some of it. In the end, it's up to us to find what works for us and to use the tools and the knowledge we've learned to make this lifestyle change permanent.

1 Comment