gonnadoit

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I went back to work 2 days ago, on 1/29 - exactly 6 weeks post-op.  By 10:30, I was exhausted, but I managed to stay an entire 8 hours... a few less yesterday... and today, I'm even more tired and would love to leave now, after 5 hours.  

It was good to be back at work and seeing some of the people I work with.  However, on the first day, I lost my office key and always threw up my lunch.  Today, I went with a 'safe' lunch of refried beans (which seemed really dry today).    I am having a hard time focusing and haven't been really productive.  Guess that is to be expected (for this week).

I went to Avenue the other day to find some work clothes.  I took a bunch of size 26 and 28 dress pants into the fitting room along with 26/28 shirts.  To my surprise, everything was too big.  I guess it shouldn't be too much of a surprise after losing 40 pounds, but I wasn't thinking that was enough to matter with my clothes.  Jeans are different, the 28s from Lane Bryant are loose, but they still fit.

The pain I was having yesterday ended up 'passing'.  I feel much better today.  

And woo hoo... a foamie free day!  

We went to a birthday party today.  I ate a couple Wheat Thins and two very small bites of ham roll-up.  There were lots of bad foods tempting me, but I did not cave in!  Hooray for me!  I also was armed with Propel and pretzels.  I had other emergency food, but it was out in the car.

Tomorrow is my last day of freedom (before returning to work).  I'm going to sleep in late (probably because it's midnight and I'm not in bed yet), and maybe do some scrapbooking before I have to put all of it away... I know I won't work on it when back at work.  My first week back, I'll be concentrating on getting all the right foods packed for the next day and making sure to get in my time on the treadmill.  

Because we are out of bananas and PB is too thick without it, I decided to jump ahead and try swallowing my BP med (a small pill) with applesauce - NOT crushed!  So far, so good.  I'll have to get some bananas tomorrow and get back on the plan.... at least until I get the OK (at my 6 week check up) to swallow small pills without crushing.

I'll be uploading my 6 week pics.  

This is definitely a learning process!  I'm doing research tonight on what might be the cause of pain I started having this morning.  When bending (even slightly), I have a sharp pain in the upper right abdomen.  It's not directly under any incision.  The pain goes away as quickly as it comes.

If it continues, I'll have to call Hurley.

My weight today was still 291, so none lost in the last week.  That's kind of ironic, because I have been throwing up all week.  I was truly expecting a loss, but that's OK... better luck next time.

I'll be heading back to work on Tuesday, Jan. 29th, after much confusion.  Hurley finally sends my FMLA to work, and they have a return date of the 31st.  Work states they never received it, so I call Hurley.  They tell me it was sent, but they can't find it.  So... They have work resend the form and they send it back with a return date of the 29th.  Work has received 3 forms - each with a different return date.  The most recent is the 29th, so that's when I'll go back.  It's crazy though, because work said I could not come back until the work doctor saw me or I got examed by the surgeon...  Now, they are setting my date based on the FMLA paperwork.  I don't even go for my 6-week follow-up appointment until February 5th.  Go figure.  I'm too frustrated to discuss it anymore.

Back on eating... I've had a rough week - throwing up at least once each day.  I'm supposed to be able to eat cereal and canned meats, but they don't work for me.  At this point, I'm also wondering when I will be able to go out to a restaurant without having to puke in their bathroom.  I've gone out 3x, and threw up each time.  All I had to eat was soup.  The problem was likely the broccoli, then the chicken, then the clam in the chowder.  So basically, that leaves me with nothing on the menu that will stay put!

I've also been going to the psychologist to work on food/stress issues.  I think it helps to talk it out (something I used to do with friends over lunch).  DH will be going with next month.  I'm sure my BP will be up during that session!!!

Exercise has been going OK.  I'm slowing working my way up to 3mph on the treadmill - doing 30 minutes each time.  I miss some days, but average at least 5 days a week. 

My weight is finally on the move (again).  I lost 7 pounds since last week - bringing me down to 291 (according to the doctor's scale).  I'm happy with that.  My goal is to lose another 11 in the next two weeks.  (Although, it isn't a big deal if I don't.)  I'll just stick with the plan and see how things go.

As for food, I am able to add moist meats, which hasn't worked out.  I had a couple bad episodes of the foamies.  YUCK!  At least when you are done, you are done!  I'm scared to try any other meats, but tonight I was brave enough to try some pan fried, moist chicken and a little bit of peas.  So far, so good. 

We leave tonight for a weekend away from home.  I'm a bit concerned about how I will handle eating when away from home, but I think I'll do OK.  I have lots of things packed - crackers, cheese, chicken/tuna lunch to go packs, and all my other nuritional 'requirements'. 

I hope the hotel has a treadmill, so I can continue my walking.  I missed it today, so I absolutely need to walk a lot this weekend. 

I tried some tuna in a bag yesterday.  It was OK, but didn't feel real settled.  I tried again for lunch today... I had a few bites mixed with mayo and a bite or two plain.  That was not a good idea!  I felt like I had a baseball in my chest.  I finally started with the foamies and then some tuna made its return.  Today, I've been really off track with my eating plan.  I only got in 5 oz of a 50 gram slam (so far) and a bit of yogurt.  I've got a long way to go before I can go to bed!

I weighed myself at the doctor's office today.  I'm still at 298.  Very frustrating!!!  I'm wondering how long this will last.  I know I'm not supposed to concentrate on the scale numbers, but who can help it?  Not me!

I know I'm not supposed to feel hungry, but I do.  I'm not sure if it is head hunger or real hunger, but it feels very real to me.  This is a difficult week, and I just can't wait to get on some real food (pureed meat) next week.  This is where if I had a normal stomach I would be binging on whatever I could find in the kitchen.  I miss food.  I miss fast food, meat, tacos... everything my family has been enjoying without me.  I'm sick... I know.  I admit it... I'm a food addict.  I love the taste, texture and comfort I get from food.  

And to top it off, the scale still isn't moving.  I'm barely eating and the scale just taunts me.  I know I shouldn't weigh myself and focus on the numbers, but I do.  I want to see some progress!  

On a good note, I'm back on the treadmill.  I put in 30 minutes yesterday.  I'll be getting on it in a few minutes to get another 30 in.  I would do more than 30, but my tummy starts to complain.  (I'm sure my binder would help if I could find it.)

Still have 5 oz of protein to drink, a prevacid and 2 calciums to take... and my blood pressure medicine...  I'll be staying up late again!

I've been sick the last 2 days.  As such, I haven't gotten in my treadmill walks or good nutrition.  I feel behind on my protein and fluid... will try to get back on track tomorrow.  I'm just praying that I don't need antibiotics.  Who needs another med!