indygirl
November 14, 2006
Nov 14, 2006
Well, I finally did it...I joined the Y last night. I took my girls and we enjoyed our first step aerobics class together. I realized that I need them! It was much more meaningful having my girls steppin away right beside me. We've decided to do classes together 3 days a week and they can swim one day a week. That should get me into shape in no time.
On to other things, my day started out well, but as the morning progressed, I just wanted to go home. I had a meeting this afternoon that was so pointless that I just wanted to scream. So far, the afternoon is faring better than this morning and my day ends in about an hour. I have to go home and then caravan the children from school, to hair appt, to tutoring, then the Y and then go home a finish laundry. Tuesdays and Thursday are my busiest nights and I sometimes don't look forward to them.
Anyway, I let a few things get to me today and end up over eating. I made an observation that because I felt a little stress and apprehension, I chose the wrongs things for lunch. Wow, I never thought that person was me...until today.
November 13, 2006
Nov 13, 2006
It's Monday and boy am I ready to go home. It seems like everyone I know is sick or getting sick. I'm trying to fight off this cold with everything I've got. I can't let it win. Ok, now that that's out, I didn't make the best choices this weekend. We dined out everyday of the weekend. What I can say, is that I'm not hungry for hours after I eat. I'll get it right, I'm sure of it. We had a full weekend and I had a house full too. I was finally able to purchase something that I've wanted in a long time. I always get things for my children, but I made sure to get myself something. What did I get you ask? Well, I purchased a designer handbag. It was expensive and probably too big, but I'm glad I have it. Nordstrom had a decent sale and I just decided to go for it. I also spotted something that I want for XMas.
Oh, I found out what the deal was with all of the gas and bloating I've been experiencing. TOM is back and mad as hell. This has been the worst it's been in a long time. It's heavy and worrisome. It acts like it's not going anywhere because it is still very heavy and I'm on day 4...WTF? I guess I need to chill because there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
I'm going to the Y today and I'm really interested in taking a spinning class. If I make it out of there, I'll tell you all about it lol. That's all I've got today because I'm ready to fall out, but I can't because I'm at work.
November 10, 2006
Nov 10, 2006
Well, I didn't go to work today because my daughter wasn't feeling well. That worked for me because of the day I had yesterday, but of course I didn't want my baby to be sick. I think I must've broken every bandster rule there is today. I had lunch at Joe's Crab Shack and I ate just about everything (butter and all). It's not difficult to do because I have no restriction. To make it worse, I drank soon after eating which is a no no. So, in a nutshell, I ate too much, drank too much, and made the wrong choices. I ate at 11:30am. That held me until around 7pm. Then ladies and gentlemen, I ate some cheese pizza and SF Koolaid. Although I only ate twice today, I really went for it. Do I feel guilty...not really. I can't wait for that fill on the 29th though. Anyway, I'm so glad it's the weekend and I hope everyone gets the rest and relaxation they deserve.
November 9, 2006
Nov 09, 2006
I got up this morning and boy was I bloated and full of gas. I'd felt like that when I laid down last night, but I took a few Gas-X pills and just knew that all would be well in the morning. Nope! So needless to say, the scale had gone up a lb (227). I'm not really worried about it though. I'm the type of person that has to weigh myself each day. I've also found that I don't really snack like I did before surgery. I eat 3 meals and that's that.
This morning, I had 2 boiled eggs and half a tangerine. I think I didn't chew the fruit well or I swallowed too big of a piece but I felt it slowly going down my esophagus. It wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't stuck so I was okay.
Today, my job isn't the best place to be. I'm just to tired of negative, whiny, complaining people all of the time. Usually, I'm fine, but today I really need to be outta here. I don't have much longer to go so I'll be ok. Everyday, I just need to figure out a way to do my own thing. I know that I really need to get serious if I want to make things happen, but I know for sure that I don't want to continue being in such a negative environment.
Ok, that's all of the energy I'm going to give that, so I hope everyone is doing well and I wish you peace and blessings.
November 8, 2006
Nov 07, 2006
I feel good today. I got up this morning and my snug pre surgery clothes are starting to fit just right and my shirts are very loose. I guess the inches are coming off. I'm big around the middle so I've always had a problem with a smaller top and a larger middle even when I've lost weight in the past. I went to check out the Y last night, and I'm going to join this weekend. My children are excited and so am I. I met the nicest woman in the spinning class. She's the instructor and had no students. I told her that class was one the I've always wanted to try, but was always intimidated. I took inventory of the size of the seat and the size of my ass and something was just not adding up lol.
Anyway, I just had the greatest grilled chicken caesar salad for breakfast. Yes, breakfast. That is one of my favorite dishes. I'm here at work and it's an easy going day...no stress, no pressure. According to my scale, I am still between 226 and 226.5lbs. As long as the scale continues to go down, I'll be a happy girl. Oh well, I'm going to enjoy the first part of my day because I have meetings all afternoon. Happy!!
November 7, 2006
Nov 06, 2006
I feel better today. I must say that since surgery, I have been sleeping so much. I take my vitamins and supplements, but I just can't seem to get enough sleep. Anyway, I had 4oz yogurt for breakfast, protein supplement for snack and the best chicken salad for lunch...oh my goodness. I really want more, but I think it's my head that wants more and not really my stomach. I got on the scale this morning and it was a trip. I experienced this whooshing thing that a lot of low carb dieters experience. I got on the scale and it read 220lbs. I knew that couldn't be right, it was 1st thing in the morning and maybe everything hadn't shifted yet. I waited a moment and the scale finally read 226lbs. That's another lb. down according to my scale. If I continue at this rate, I may have to adjust my X-Mas goal. I won't pull the cart before the horse so we'll just have to see what happens. The day has been so far, so good. I have a busy evening which I don't like. Sometimes I feel like an overscheduled person. That's kind of stressful and I really don't like it. When I come home from work, I don't want to have to do things and go a million places. I like to chill out and enjoy my home. My children sometimes like to go here there and everywhere, but I have to explain to them sometimes...it's easy for you to want to go because you usually get a great nap on the way there and back. All the while, I'm trying to keep my sanity in the crazy traffic. That's kids for you. Have a great day.
weight: 226lbs
goal by X-Mas: 215lbs
lbs til goal: 11lbs
November 6, 2006
Nov 06, 2006
Good Day,
Well it's Monday and to be honest, I haven't been feeling well today. I don't feel sick like I'm coming down with a cold, but I felt nauseous this morning and I really couldn't eat. I tried to eat a pear this morning; which I like, but I ended up throwing it in the trash because I had no desire to eat it. I made it through the first part of the morning and I ended up drinking my protein supplement. I just had lunch a minute ago and that was a chore. I ate half of it and was no longer interested in eating. I've started taking my diabetes and HTN meds as normal this weekend because I really haven't taken them regularly since before surgery. Maybe that's what's got me a little messed up. I do realize that I have to eat so that I won't screw my metabolism up again. The scale hadn't moved for over 2weeks but I got up this morning and it read 227lbs. Now remember, I go by my scale and not my docs just because I feel like it. I also weigh myself first thing in the morning w/ underwear only, so of course my doc's scale is going to say I weigh more. Especially when I go after having breakfast, lunch, and tons of water, and with all of my clothes on. It's fall here and it's cold so I'm not wearing a short set either lol. Anyway, the heat is broken at work...let me explain. The heat won't turn off and is on full blast, so I oughtta lose some pounds just by sitting here and sweating. It's a sweltering jungle in here my goodness. Anyway, that's all I have as of right now. Enjoy your life!!
Short term goal: 215lbs by 12/25/06
Today: 227lbs
lbs til goal: 12lbs
November 5, 2006
Nov 05, 2006
I had french toast this morning and it was delicious. I just don't go back for 2nd's and 3rd's anymore. I'm sure after this fill, I won't be able to finish the 1st's.
Have a great day!!
November 4, 2006
Nov 04, 2006
We'll I'm posting but to be honest, I don't have much to say. Yesterday, the UPS man came to my door to deliver the Profect liquid protein I'd ordered like the day before. I was shocked and excited because I was getting sick of my protein powder. It has 25g of protein in only 2.9oz of liquid. I tried it this morning and it wasn't bad. I guess you can say that it was over before it started lol. My mom came to visit today. Of course she wanted to know how much weight I've lost since surgery. I told her none yet because I have no restriction and I believe that my metabolism is a bit confused right now lol. Anyway, she stayed for awhile and got back on the road. She lives a couple of hours away.
I can't wait until my first fill. I can't wait for the experience of it all because life is as normal right now. I went and checked out Curves yesterday. It was nice, but I think that I'm going to sign up at the YMCA next week. It has a pool and more options.
I didn't even get on the scale this morning which is highly unusual for me. I guess my weight not changing is old news as of right now. I'm not discouraged, but I'm not as hyped as I was before either.
My goal for Christmas is to lose at least 15lbs. that would put me at 215lbs (according to my own scale). It's a bit aggressive but...so what. I'm aiming for a 15lb loss by Christmas.
Oh well, I'll sign off now. Have a happy day!!
November 3, 2006
Nov 02, 2006
It's my babygirl's birthday. She turned 3 today. We are going to have a family get together this weekend to celebrate. I'm at work right now and I was really hungry this morning. I decided to eat my lunch for breakfast which was a Michelina's Lean Gourmet meatloaf meal. It was pretty tasty, but afterwards, I felt a little lightheaded. Maybe this is because I'm not used to eating this heavily in the morning.
Let me tell you about last night. I reluctantly left my home to go the Thursday night group. I beat the home rush hour traffic and made it to my doc's office only to see the nurse and nutritionist etc turning out the lights. They appeared to be happy to see me and asked, "Did you come for the party." I told them no and that I forgot about the party and came for group instead. They told me to go on over to the party which was held for bariatric patients at the Hilton. I felt kind of crumby (sp) because I had on sweats and my hair wasn't done. I said, "I'm not dressed for the party," to which they replied, "We've seen a lot of people that aren't dressed up, and you can come." A small sadness came over me as I went down the 3 flights of stairs to go to my car. I couldn't even get out of the parking lot, and a few tears fell. I really can't explain it. I had to get myself together because my tears were burning my eyes and I was driving. I stopped and got some gas for my car and had a small revelation. I took all of the candy/ gum out of my pockets and car and threw it right in the trash. I had of feeling of if it is to be, it is up to me. I then went to the grocery store and purchased a lot of the good stuff that Dr. Oz had recommended on the Oprah show. I came to a conclusion...eating healthy is expensive. Oh and I didn't tell you that my daughter has decided to become a vegetarian. I respect the fact that she doesn't want to eat meat, and I tried to purchase fruits, veggies, and Morninging Star products for her. Needless to say, prepared vegan meals are a bit pricey.
As far as my professional career goes, I have also decided that I need to make some changes. I'm not as enthusiastic about my current position as I was last year. I had an awesome year last year and this year, the momentum has slowed down or stopped in some areas. I'm the youngest person in my building and it's difficult at times to work with older people who are just here for the paycheck and have lost all passion for what they do. I can see myself going down that same road if I don't make some changes. I am thinking, once again, of going into business for myself. I will admit, that in the back of mind, I have a few limitations that translate into fear. I don't like to claim it, but it is what it is...fear. I always try and think of the verse, "God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." I know that fear is not of God. There is no failure in God, and maybe that's the realization that I am not as close and as in tune with The Most High as I should be. WOW!!! I guess this blog makes the truth come out, you know, the truth of that still small voice that you selective listen to.
As far as my weightloss goes, I am going to make the effort to make a better me. I started off ok, but it's only 8:30 am lol. Anyway, I'll sign off now. Be blessed
