and Happy New Year!!

Jan 11, 2010

Well, here we are in a new year and a new framework.  New mindset, new body, new experiences.  Sometimes the newness of things can be overwhelming at best.  At this point in time, I am about 4 months since my surgery.  I have lost a total of 122 pounds, 90 of that having been since I started this process in June of 2009.  I am soon going to stop breaking down when I lost how much and just give out grand totals.  At first I felt a bit like a fraud if I did that, but it's all hard work so why not acknowledge it!!  So there - first resolution - take ownership - I have lost a total of 122 pounds!! 

All kidding aside it has been an amazing ride.  My friends have been supportive as have been my family.  There have been some upsets, but nothing too drastic.  My husband (and I) are enjoying the differences with my body and all I will say to that is that everyone is beautiful with the lights off!!  Plastic Surgery here I come - where is a lottery win when you need one??  My son has discovered that he can close him arms around me when I give him a hug and that mom looks good in smaller clothes.  The two of them together are quite funny - hubby likes to see me in colours, while my boy thinks I look more sophisticated in blacks and grays - more dramatic...It's like I've become their life size barbie doll...  Shopping has gotten a lot more interesting!! 

My sisters and neices are all very happy as diabetes is rampant on both sides of our family and until surgery I was taking 5 pills and 4 needles a day to control it.  Since surgery - NOTHING!!  I am so happy about that.  I'm not sure what is better - diabetes free or currently wearing size 16 pants!! 

I must admit I am concerned though - weight loss has slowed down considerably from the "early days" and my fear is that it is going to stop before I am ready.  I think I'd like to lose about another 50, although my husband thinks I should maybe just try 25 first.  We'll see - I guess I'll know when I get there.  My biggest obstacle to overcome during this time has been not being a slave to numbers.  I have been reading about weight regain and issues tied to that for WLS patients and that scares me.  I haven't come this far to go backward.  I am praying and working towards making sure that I am aware of my body enough that if things start to change I will be aware and ready to rework what I need to stay on track.  In the past, I have just gone into hiding when weight gain happened and that just made it worse. 

My wish for all of us is this - Better Health, much happiness, to be surrounded by love and most of all - to love ourselves enough to recognize when we need to relax and enjoy the ride!!

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