Fat2Flaca R.
Life was amazing for my brothers and I up until I was about 12 years old. We had a beautiful home, our parents worked nine to fives and took us on frequent trips to our country, Puerto Rico, to learn about where we came from and meet relatives. We started noticing the financial situation going downhill, along with our parent's health. No one, including us knew that a horrible addiction was taking them over and slowly destroying our lives. Our belongings were slowly sold (by our parents). There was rarely ever a steady flow of food, the utilities were often turned off and finally we lost our home. My parents addiction to heroin eventually took my fathers life and my mothers health was severely affected.
When our life was normal, my mother never discussed healthy eating. We'd eat whatever, whenever. She weighed 360 lbs her self at her heaviest and cooked traditional Puerto Rican food in large quantities and bought unhealthy snacks to make us happy. I never counted a calorie, the word "carb" sounded scientific and my mother would always try to lose weight the easy way (pills and fad dieting). Once I took custody of my brothers, our quality of lives improved in many ways, but the eating and level of physical activity (or lack there of) remained the same.
I have gained over 150 lbs since I was 17 years old when I became responsible for the care of my brothers, Jay and Sam, after our parents became addicted to drugs. I really had no guidance from anyone and was taking on a very adult responsibility that I had no idea how to tackle. I felt lost, alone, scared and even turned to cooking my mothers recipes and eating constantly for comfort. I worked 2-3 jobs to support my brothers and I and would eat from vending machines and fast fried Puerto Rican food all day because it was what I could afford and I was also a student which meant coming home late some nights. I was never very thin and have always been the larger girl at school because I am so tall, but the smallest was grammar school to sophmore year in high school. I was the MVP player on my volleyball team, starter on the softball team and homecoming princess. I have steadily gained weight since after that and only lost small amounts from fad dieting.
Recently my youngest brother has lost 60 lbs and now leads a very active life. I am beginning to realize that I am doing exactly what my parents did, but using food to sedate myself. I promised my brothers I would never leave them, but can die before I'm 30 years old if I don't get the help I need to learn how to completely change my life. I need to prove to my brothers that I am as strong as I pretend to be. That I meant it when I said I would do my best o be in their lives forever, or as close to forever as I can get. I know I am ready because I have nothing else to lose, but myself and I am not willing to go without a fight. I let my weight spiral out of control and have thought it was too late for years now. Finally hearing myself talk to my family about the reasons I work so hard to get on the show, has pushed me to make changes in my regular life and I have NEVER been so serious about dropping the weight until now! I know that learning more about nutrition and working out, along with the space to focus on mysel and FINALLY be selfish is exactly what I need to save my life.
I want to show my Puerto Rican community that it is possible to change our traditional ways of eating and become a stronger people. When I lose the weight I want to share every piece of knowledge I have and show other people how to take control of their lives. I want to run/bike with my brother and prove that they are worth me doing the very thing I have run from facing my entire life. I want to do simple thing effortlessly, like walking up a flight of stairs, breathing throughout the night without interruption, wear clothes that is in style, but those arent the bigger picture. I want to live without fear, be free of this body that is a prison and not a temple. I want to feel like Im in my twenties at some point in my life. I want to prove to myself that I am worth this fight.
About Me
Before & After
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