jennlin2697
Roller Coaster of a Lifetime
Aug 11, 2009
Almost 4 and 1/2 months from the day my life changed forever- almost as monumental as getting married or having my daughter.... I’ve been on an up and down roller coaster- losing consistently, but still learning all over about eating- especially the emotional attributes of eating- and how even though my stomach (or as my husband says, “my guts are re-arranged”) is so much smaller, the same things are attractive even at the risk of throwing up- I’m over being upset about barfing and find myself giving into the desire to satisfy my craving—without connecting that the craving is mental. How I wish they would have operated on my brain as well as my stomach. So, now I’m working actively at this process. For me that often means, taking note of things: I feel better and lose more if I exercise; I don’t throw up if I don’t eat fast; Eating things that are “bad” aren’t worth it; Small portions, spread out throughout the day make sense; Water and Protein intake are crucial; People aren’t looking at me as a fat person anymore- especially when I meet someone for the first time- they see the actual me?! My brain is actively processing these things; my body specifically, my tongue- doesn’t always agree or cooperate. I like sweet things. I desire salty things. I don’t need any of it. If I didn’t have God, active in my life- a real, true relationship with God, I couldn’t handle this new life. I couldn’t handle the changes in eating- what I can eat, how I eat, when I eat. I couldn’t handle how rapidly my body is changing- how I feel about it as I move from size to size and how people see me- the compliments I’m not used to and even the aforementioned meeting people for the first time- I’m no longer looked at as a fat person- my mind can’t handle, but God tells me, “this is how I made you.” And He’s happy with me. So, all in all, I’m ready for this ride. The timing is perfect. I have the hope to see it through to the end, I’m convinced I can’t do it alone- but- I’m all in.
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About Me
NJ
Location
31.6
BMI
Surgery
03/31/2009
Surgery Date
Jan 12, 2009
Member Since
