Kaley J.

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Tomorrow is my appointment with the neurologist and I am getting so anxious about "When will it get here?" I am so hoping that I get some answers or at least some direction at this appointment, and that I can at least find out whether or not I can start driving again. Big day... Here's hoping and praying it goes well.

Super Obese (BMI over 50)             265+ pounds

Extremely Obese (BMI 40-50)          212-264 pounds

Obese (BMI 30-39.9)                     159-211 pounds

Overweight (BMI 25-29.9)              133-158 pounds

Normal (BMI 18.5-24.9)                  98-132 pounds

Underweight (BMI less than 18.5)     97 pounds or less

I had my physical today and got the written report on my MRI (but not an explanation) with instructions to take it to my appt with the neurologist.

Before I get into that the physical showed that my heart beat is slow enough that she thought I was taking beta blockers (which I'm not). So she's rechecking my thyroid and has ordered an echocardiogram and something else (can't remember) on my heart and neck arteries. She also said my balance is terrible (which I knew, I can just be standing there and I will fall over).

As far as what I can glean from the MRI report (and from talking to a friend of mine who has a special needs daughter who has seizures) this is the results of my MRI possibly.

1. The report says "No evidence of acute intracranial hemorrhage, midline shift, or mass-effect. On the contrasted images, there is a subtle blush of contrast noted, I suspect on the posterior limb of the internal capsule, best seen on [reference to images]. I suspect this is a focal area of gliosis or this could represent a subtle venous malformation. There is no suspicious rim enhancement or surrounding edema to suspect that this is an aggressive lesion, clinical correlation recommended."

2. So it doesn't sound like cancer or tumor? My friend said that if it is a focal area of gliosis (which results from trauma) it could be an indication of trauma from seizures, which would make sense with everything else. If it does turn out to be seizures it would certainly explain my car accident in college that we could never figure out.

I'm still planning on going ahead and checking this out from every angle so I have an appointment with my endrocronologist tomorrow, with my sleep apnea doctor on Friday, my psychiatrist next Wednesday, and then the neurologist on the 24th unless I can get in sooner (which I am going to start pestering them in that regard tomorrow).

So that's where things stand. No definitive word on the MRI but my guess is that it's going to help with a diagnosis of seizures or something.

End of last school year I posted about some problems I was having at my job (pre-WLS). They were making vague comments about my "health issues." I was not aware of anything related to the comments they were making so I assumed they were making things up to get rid of me (they were doing other stuff as well so I had good cause to be suspicious and paranoid). So out of all that they transfered me from my position at the middle school to an elementary position for this year because "It's less stress and less responsibility.

About 4 weeks ago my new principal pulled me into his office for a closed door chat and told me that my new co-workers had been expressing concern to him about my health because they were observing me having episodes where my eyelids flutter, my speech slows down significantly, and I am unaware/asleep/unconcious (they don't know?). I was not and am not aware of this happening. I told my principal I would get with my primary care doctor to try to get it figured out. He said is might be low blood sugar and told me to ask my coworkers to prompt me to check my blood sugar when they see this happening (I asked them but they never did). I started checking my blood sugar more regularly and it's fine so we know it's not that. I made appointments which are coming up in the next week with a sleep doctor, my endrocronologist, my primary care doctor for a complete physical, and am also working on getting in to see a neurologist.

This last Tuesday (2 days ago) my principal pulled me into his office again and said he had scheduled a meeting for yesterday between himself, me, my boss, the union, and human resources to "discuss my health, what they need to do in regards to my health, whether or not I am safe to work with children, whether or not I can meet the legal and job requirements in regards to providing my students with the education they are entitled to, etc." At the meeting I learned that the teachers (who by the way have still not told me this, I am hearing about it second hand) who work with me are still reporting this, that they are saying it happens "every day, all the time, constantly." I am frankly pissed that no one has been concerned enough to come to me with all of this but whatever. My principal also said that it has happened at the last two professional developments and that at the most recent one (about a week ago) some of my colleagues were laughing at me while it was going on rather than trying to help me. And I am not aware of any of this happening. So it was decided that I can no longer be alone at work, my kids that I've been pulling to my room for pull-out I have to see in a corner of someone else's classroom. I can't even do my planning period in my room because no one would be in there with me. My job is literally hanging by a thread.

So last night I went to the ER to see if I could get a slam bam diagnosis and get this over with. They gave me a CAT scan and blood work/urinalysis, said I was asymptomatic and the CAT scan looks clear pending being looked at by the radiologists and sent me home with instructions to follow up with a neurologist.

Tonight was parent teacher conferences so I was at work until 7 pm. At 5:20 I got a call from the chief nurse at the ER saying the radiologist looked at my CAT scan and there is "a questionable area, an area of concern" in my right temporal lobe and I need to come in for an MRI. So that is scheduled for tomorrow night (Halloween) at 10:30 pm assuming I can get the precertification insurance is requiring in time, otherwise it will be delayed.

I've also now been told I can't drive so I am going to have a dickens of a time getting to work and to all of these appointments I'm supposed to be having to figure out what the hell is going on.

Sorry to vent but I am worried, anxious and frankly pissed off at most of the people around me who are telling other people that it's happening but not coming to me and/or are laughing at me when it obvious something medical is going on.

Total Inches lost in the last month: 6.5
Total Inches lost Post-Op (June-October 2008): 32.5
Total Inches lost Pre-Op (March-June 2008): 16.5+
Total Inches lost Since Started Measuring (March-October 2008): 49+

Date         Pant Size      Bra Size     Shirt Size    Shoe Size
3/2/08       4X/32W      52G          30/32        Men’s 7WW
4/7/08       4X/32W      50F           30/32        Men’s 7WW
5/3/08       4X/32W      50F           28            Men’s 7WW
6/1/08       4X/32W      50F           28            Men’s 7WW
6/23/08     3X/28W      48DDD       28            Men’s 7WW
Surgery!
7/25/08     24W           48DDD       22/24       Men’s 7WW
8/25/08     24W           44DDD       22/24       Men’s 7WW
9/25/08     24W           44DDD       22/24       Men’s 7WW
10/25/08   1X/22W      44DDD       22/24       Women’s 8.5W

Date          Upper Arm  Forearm    Wrist            Neck
3/2/08       17”            13”           8”              17-1/2”
4/7/08       16-1/2”      13”           7-1/2”        17-1/2”
5/3/08       16”            12-1/2”     7-1/2”        17-1/2”
6/1/08       16”            13”           7-1/2”        17”
6/23/08     16”            13”           7-1/2”        16”
Surgery!
7/25/08     15-1/2”      12-1/2”     7”              16”
8/25/08     15”            12”           7”              15”
9/25/08     14”            11-1/2”     7”              15”
10/25/08    13”           11-1/2”     7”              15”

Date         Thigh             Calf             Ankle            Waist
3/2/08       34”            24”          12”             57”
4/7/08       34”            23”          12”             56”
5/3/08       34”            23”          12”             56”
6/1/08       34-1/2”      23”          12”             55”
6/23/08     34”            22-1/2”    12”             55”
Surgery!
7/25/08     32”            21-1/2”    11-1/2”       51”
8/25/08     31”            21”          11-1/2”       49”
9/25/08     29”            21”          11-1/2”       49”
10/25/08   29”            20”          11”             48”

Date          Knee           Elbow          Hips               Ribcage
3/2/08       20”           13”           **              52”
4/7/08       20-1/2”     13”           **              47-1/2”
5/3/08       20”           12-1/2”     **              48”
6/1/08       20”           12-1/2”     **              46”
6/23/08     19”           12”           **              44”
Surgery!
7/25/08     17”           12”           63”             44”
8/25/08     17”           11-1/2”     61”             44”
9/25/08     17”           11-1/2”     58-1/2”       43”
10/25/08   17”           11”           56”             43”

1. If I hold my arms out perpendicular to my body I can see that I am beginning to get the so-called "bat wings" of skin. I can actually see where my arm is versus where the skin is starting to be. I know this is normal and to be expected but it is a little weird to see it happening.

2. I have become a side sleeper as opposed to the stomach sleeper I was before my surgery and last night as I was trying to get in a comfortable sleep-ready position I found that I can no longer sleep with my arm in the same position I have always been able to sleep with comfortably. Interesting. That I don't mind so much.

3. My watch is becoming looser on my wrist so now it is sliding around instead of staying in one fixed spot like I like. I have the option of taking out a link but part of me is afraid that if I do that my arm will swell up like a balloon and I will have to add it back in and it still won't be enough. Slightly irrational I know. I think, to be safe, I will take the link out and put it in my jewelry box so that should I gain weight as a result of taking the link out of my watch I still have it to put back in :)

Okay, I can't see any of them yet but I have had a persistent worry (having been too large to feel bones most of my life) that some of my bones are missing (silly I know, but true). I have a cold that's moving down into my chest and I was rubbing under my neck and I FEEL STUFF!!! What's it called? Clavicles and such? So freakin' cool!!

Today, for the third day in a row, I did not meet my food goals by a long shot. I have been very stressed out today by how my food goals have been going and by how unskillful I've been. I've been doing some thinking all day today about how off track I've been and have been trying to strategize as to how I can get back on track. So here's my plan, to get back to doing what I was doing when things were going well in terms of staying on track with my food. So,...

1) I went to the store and got the protein drinks I used to drink and plan on having 2 a day, one for breakfast and one for evening snack. That will get in 42 grams of my protein for the day with only 4 carbs.

2) I am going to try to save the bulk of my carbs for the end of the day with the exception of things like nuts which have protein and carbs together.

3) On days that I do not have something scheduled that interferes I will go to the Y directly from work at least 3 days out of the week. Any time spent at the Y on the weekend is just gravy.

4) I am going to plan out my food for the day the night before so that I have a guide to follow. That way I can make sure I am getting all of my protein in and reduces my stress about carbs.

5) No grazing on "don't count" foods such as pickles because my mentality behind eating them is not healthy and they are not productive for me nutritionally and interfere with me getting in the protein I am supposed to get in.

6) No more diet sodas except on rare occasions (no more than once a week) because something about them makes me more likely in thoughts and cravings to overdue my carbs.

This sounds like a lot but when I was having more success with following Dr's orders about my food that was what I was doing (although I was actually doing no soda but I am working back to that).

Doctor Set Food Goals:
>90 grams protein
20-25 grams of carbs
>64 ounces fluids

Total Inches lost in the last month: 7

Total Inches lost Post-Op (June-September 2008): 26

Total Inches lost Pre-Op (March-June 2008): 16.5+

Total Inches lost Since Started Measuring (March-September 2008): 42.5+

Date         Pant Size      Bra Size     Shirt Size    Shoe Size
3/2/08     4X/32W      52G          30/32        Men’s 7WW
4/7/08     4X/32W      50F           30/32        Men’s 7WW
5/3/08     4X/32W      50F           28            Men’s 7WW
6/1/08     4X/32W      50F           28            Men’s 7WW
6/23/08   3X/28W      48DDD       28            Men’s 7WW
Surgery!
7/25/08   24W           48DDD       22/24       Men’s 7WW
8/25/08   24W           44DDD       22/24       Men’s 7WW
9/25/08   24W           44DDD       22/24       Men’s 7WW

Date          Upper Arm  Forearm    Wrist            Neck
3/2/08     17”            13”           8”              17-1/2”
4/7/08     16-1/2”      13”           7-1/2”        17-1/2”
5/3/08     16”            12-1/2”     7-1/2”        17-1/2”
6/1/08     16”            13”           7-1/2”        17”
6/23/08   16”            13”           7-1/2”        16”
Surgery!
7/25/08   15-1/2”      12-1/2”     7”              16”
8/25/08   15”            12”           7”              15”
9/25/08   14”            11-1/2”     7”              15”

Date         Thigh             Calf             Ankle            Waist
3/2/08     34”            24”          12”             57”
4/7/08     34”            23”          12”             56”
5/3/08     34”            23”          12”             56”
6/1/08     34-1/2”      23”          12”             55”
6/23/08   34”            22-1/2”    12”             55”
Surgery!
7/25/08   32”            21-1/2”    11-1/2”       51”
8/25/08   31”            21”          11-1/2”       49”
9/25/08   29”            21”          11-1/2”       49”

Date          Knee           Elbow          Hips               Ribcage
3/2/08     20”           13”           **              52”
4/7/08     20-1/2”     13”           **              47-1/2”
5/3/08     20”           12-1/2”     **              48”
6/1/08     20”           12-1/2”     **              46”
6/23/08   19”           12”           **              44”
Surgery!
7/25/08   17”           12”           63”             44”
8/25/08   17”           11-1/2”     61”             44”
9/25/08   17”           11-1/2”     58-1/2”       43”

I found these links on body image and thought I'd share.  Feel free to explore them:

Building a Better Body Image

Ten "Will-Powers" for Improving Body Image

Tips to Improve Your Body Image

Affirmations: Healthy Body Image & Self-Esteem

Healthy Body Image

Body Image Affirmations To Feel Good About Your Body