Kaley J.

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I am two days shy of reaching the three week mark on my liquid diet and I have now lost a total of 22 pounds (at least according to the scale in my new pulmonologist/sleep doctor's office). Yay! Even though I am getting tired of this I know I need to keep pressing on to complete it because it is working and getting me further than I would be able to get on my own in this amount of time. I am really hoping that I don't gain it back after switching back to real food. I don't think I will because I was already losing on my own when I started this but who know's what metabolism will do?

So the liquids are going okay. It's getting harder though with each passing day because I just want to eat something. Not binge, just actually have variety and stuff to chew. I am having dreams in the night, very vivid ones, about food and eating food. Sometimes something as simple as orange sugar-free jello. It's a little irritating because I am also at the point where I have done this for almost 3 weeks and my mind tells me when I want to quit that it would be SO not worth it to quit because of all the effort I've put into it thus far. I just want to CHEW! And have something to eat besides chicken soup for every meal and snack except for one little bar thing! I just have to remind myself that it is working. I've lost 11 pounds as of last Wednesday and my watch and rings are looser.

I was so excited about losing those 10 pounds yesterday that I completely missed the fact that I met and exceeded my first weight goal - to get down to 350 pounds. Yay me! I'm excited about that but I'm also happy because I can do my walks a little faster now without getting all out of breath. The only downside is that I still can't walk very far because my calves start to hurt really bad and my knees get real wobbly. Oh well, I just have to keep on treking.

I had an appointment with Dr. Myers' dietician today and since I saw him five days ago I have lost 10 pounds! I'm still retaining water like crazy, not much change in that respect, but yippee! Hooray for liquid diets!

I have decided to change surgeons. This new surgeon I found (Dr. Brian Lane) is in Bowling Green which is only 1/2 hour extra driving for me in the opposite direction from Dr. Myers. I think it will be better for me in two ways:

1) he has a lot more experience than my current surgeon (as a plus his reviews on this site are exceptional), and

2) I have decided to try to get the Duodenal Switch rather than the Roux-en-Y because I think in the long run it will be a better surgery for me. Dr. Myers does not do them but Dr. Lane does.

I have a consultation scheduled for Oct. 26 with Dr. Lane that I am excited about, though I am not excited about the $250 fee. I expected it because I had to do this with Dr. Myers too but to pay that fee twice and to know that the $250 I paid to Dr. Myers (which was going to be part of the surgery costs) is now lost to me. I'm not regretting this decision to switch, I'm just like "ouch." I don't know what this means in terms of the liquid diet I've been on with Dr. Myers, whether Dr. Lane will continue it himself or just have me stop it when I stop seeing Dr. Myers. I'm not going to say anything to Dr. Myers until I know this will work out. I'm a little nervous about whether or not he will accept me as a patient. I've heard that he doesn't always accept everyone who wants to do it so I am hoping he will see how committed I am to this process. *sigh* I'm such a worrywart.

Frequently I go on my walks in the hallway of my apartment building rather than going outside to do it. Tonight as I was walking (or pacing if you like, as I go back and forth down the hallway) one of my neighbors who is probably in her 60's and looks pretty healthy came out and saw me. She said, "Going for your daily stroll?" I said yes and she laughed and said, "It never works you know." I thought that was an odd thing to say. Not mean or discouraging or anything but very odd. Why would someone say that? I thought it was common knowledge that going for walks is good for you.

I saw Hairspray (the new one) this afternoon with two of my friends and it was SO good. I had seen the original so I knew what to expect in terms of the plot and characters but I did not expect it to be so empowering. It wasn't just about equality for other races, it was also about equality for people of size and that was so great to see. Plus it was great to see plus-sized characters and actresses portrayed in such a positive way. And it dealt with the isolation and self-esteem issues that keep many people of size alone, at home, isolated, and insecure. Wow! What a great movie. The last movie I saw even previews for with plus-sized characters was Shallow Hal. I didn't see it because it seemed like the light it protrayed people of size in in terms of laughs was not good. I could be wrong, I am basing this on the previews but all that to say I thoroughly reccommend Hairspray and want to buy the DVD when it comes out.

I had my appointment with my surgeon today after one-week on his reduced calorie liquid diet. I have lost a grand total of...da da da dah...1 pound! A little disappointing to say the least. He said that I am definitely in fat-burning mode now but poked my lower legs and said that I have excessive water retention in my legs. Not a big surprise to me, they have felt more swollen than usual. Anyway, he said that's why I haven't lost very much weight this past week. He told me to ease back on my water intake, take a water pill (which he prescribed), and take a potassium pill (which he also prescribed so that, being on the liquid diet and a water pill, my potassium won't drop too low). The funny thing is my first reaction in my head was, "Not 2 more medications!" I had to laugh at myself on the way home for this because that is really the least of my concerns right now. And at any rate, at least being temporarily off the diabetes medication gives me a little money with which to pay for these two new medications. So it's all good.

...that just when I decide to do something life-altering in terms of how I deal with food, therapy all of a sudden gets real intense?  I am in therapy for bulimia turned binge-eating disorder and today I had a VERY intense session.  Very hard.  Normally I would have driven through a drive-through or a gas station to get food to cope with but because of this liquid diet thing I couldn't.  Well, I suppose couldn't is the wrong word... I could have but chose not to (Yay!  Small victories!).  So now I am home and safe in terms of food but still a little shook up.  Doing okay now but for a while it was rough.  Just wondering whether it was more than coincidence that made the two situations meet.

Okay, so I started this liquid diet four days ago.  My surgeon said I should see results within the first three days.  So when I went to his office today to trade out some supplement packages I used their scale to sneak a peek because I don't have one at home.  I have not lost a blessed ounce!  What's the deal?!  I know that it's only four days into it and I need to be patient, I probably just threw my body into a stall with the sudden reduction in calories but still.  Even though I was worried that this wouldn't work for me I guess I still had an expectation that it would work, and work right away.  *sigh*  I know when I see my surgeon on Thursday he'll probably adjust my intake because of this so I am not too concerned that it will never work, at any rate not yet.  I just wish it would soon.