kalifreya

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 Tomorrow I am going to go get the things I will need for post op, the baby spoons and cups, protein shake mix and s/f flavors, etc....  I'm gonna be pissed if I buy all this stuff and for some reason get denied tho. But I have the money for it now and think it would be the best idea. I go to Bay view on March 11th for my support group meeting and dietician meeting. They were kind enough to book it all in one day for me. I go to the psych on March 5th for eval. so everything is coming together. 4 more months to go before I clear the 6 months of "diet history" which is insane to me because I have been seeing my doctor for years!!!! just not in 6 consecutive months! I mean who really goes to their doctor EVERY MONTH and says , so Im still obese, ummmmm, now what??!  but Ill jump through the f-ing hoops for the ins co. they hold the purse strings, so I have to. Ok off to bed! Good night all

 Ugghhh... all this bad weather and bulky clothes are making me feel larger than ever.  Im really bummed right now because its seems like an eternity till my operation. So many things can go wrong before then, Will I get denied by my insurance? and I getting the right documents? so much to handle. And on top of that Im dealing with haters who think Im taking the easy way out. Easy for the 130 lb 20 y/o to say!!!  Went shopping with my daughter today and was looking at clothes in 8's and 10's wondering if I could ever be that small again.. doesnt seem possible. Ive been a 20/22 for so long now, its all I know.  Im feeling very ugly today. yuk! tomorrow  will be a better day I think. 

 Ok, so I found a hospital,and a doctor, got my list of hoops to jump through and Im on a roll. Im scared and excited all at once. Im sure my fmaily is going to be sick of hearing about this long before it happens. 6 months seems so far away. arrrgghhh!