KikiRox85

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and I STILL can't believe I'm on the otherside. I'm now on the losers bench... POST OP. Its so weird and finally sinking in. So today I feel little to no pain. I've been sipping, walking and resting. I haven't weighed myself yet, I'm waiting for my post-op meeting with my surgeon on the 8th of April. I want to be surprised.

Planning on going to my support meeting coming up on April 4th. It should be nice to meet people in my area who are going to go through or are or have been going through the same thing I am. I'm just very HAPPY and feel very lucky that everything is going smoothly.

My operation took two hours because of how LARGE my stomach was. lol. I always knew I had a huge stomach but seeing it in the photos and having them tell me shocked me anyways.lol No wonder I was AWAYS hungry and could never keep off the weight. I had my surgeon, Dr. Doraiswamy and Dr. Lamar who BOTH worked on me. Dr. Lamar is part of the 3 surgeons at my Bariatric center and postponed his surgery to help my surgeon out. I was thankful that I had two amazing surgeons working on me.

1st day was... painful.
                      The gas pain and fighting the anesthetic was the worst.
2nd day was... much better
                      I was weak but could do things by myself, like walk, go to the restroom. I was frustrated because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get enough liquids in. If I drank too much, I would feel so full and my tiny tummy would be stuborn and not process it, just let it sit in me making me feel nausious.
3rd day was... Amazing
                      My tiny tummy was working with me and I could reach my 4oz an hour so I could come home.
4th day... I'm an incadecently happy.

I'm going to start working on my Hospital Vlog tomorrow when everyones at work and school and the "good" computers available. lol. My sisters and momma took lots of pix and video. It should be very informative and fun.

All pre-ops... Its going to happen
All post-ops... you truly INSPIRE me everyday

Take Care
Kristen

Been sip, sip, sipping, walking and resting as much as possible. Pain is at a 3 out of 10. Not too bad. I had to stay an extra day because I needed more time to get in liquids. All in all the first day, painful, second day MUCH better, Third day, great. So little by little I've been getting back to myself, except the whole eating part.

I am NOT hungry at all. I'm forcing myself to drink my liquids so I don't get dehydrated. Its so weird. My family are all munching out in in the living room watching movies, eating ALL my favorites and I'm NOT HUNGRY!!! Its a miracle. lol

Will work on hospital video later in the week. All is well, I'm alive and thriving, gtting to a healthier me.

Take Care
Kristen

And I'll be off to the hospital ready to start my journey. Man, I thought getting approved would be so... stressless. Boy was I wrong. lol. I guess everything happens for a reason, and now I'm less than a day from being Sleeved. Its just amazing. I feel so luckly and blessed to have this opportunity to get my body back and my life.

Everyone has been so great on here and on youtube. Really been awesome and made me feel great. I can't sress how great you all are.

I'm going to tape my "Eve of the Sleeve" video right now. Tell you all how I'm feeling and dealing with STARVATION. lol. I hope I'm one of those Sleevers whose Grehlin leaves with the extracted stomach.

I am SO hungry. I've locked myself away in my room. My stomach is growling, I guess it knows it has its hours numbered. lol

I just can't believe it. Its just... amazing. Here I am and things are actually working out.

My whole families coming to visit me at the hospital. Miss SleeveGenie says she'll come by afterwork too. I never knew we lived so close. lol So I'm very excited and happy. Hopefully I won't be too drugged up. lol 

Video should be up around 5 or 6pm.

Everyone Take Care. I'll soon be on the losers bench, on the otherside.

Kristen

So I weighed myself this morning and am down 13 pounds since starting my liquid diet. Thats 13 pesky pounds I will NEVER see again. For the next 3 days I'm cleaning house, floors, kitchen, bathrooms, the works. The night before surgery I'm washing my clothes and my sheets so I have a nice clean bed to come home too. I even made a list (me and my lists) lol.

I have to admit its been hard to get some rest with all the excitement, anticipation for Thursday to come. I've already packed my hospital bag, I'm going to go over it on my last Pre-op vlog... "Eve of the Sleeve" and add some fun stuff too to it. Its just a very exciting time, like when I first started this journey and allowed myself to think of a future with a healthier me.

Its been raining so hard here in socal, especially last night. I do love the rain and the sunshine too. Makes me think of this summer, being able to go to the beach and no one wanting to harpoon me. Just being comfortable with myself and my body. I'm just so excited for whats to come.

I've been watching alot of youtube vlogs and they inspire me so much. This community is just... awesome and I'm glad to be apart of it.

Everyone Take Care
Kristen

Today went out to Costco (took a new picture for my card and... I'm still a butterball) and got 2 more premier protein boxes, tubberware set and a brand new bullet since mine bit the dust. Also went to Walmart and got some more frozen popcicles, jello, crsytal lite (pink lemonade... Yum), V8, beef and chicken broth, more vitamines and the best for the last... GAS EX strips.

I'm planning on packing my bag tonight, so I'm set for surgery for Thursday.

I've been losing steadily. I'm really happy with that. Its easier now than the first week. I'm not tempted and the head hunger isn't there anymore.

Yesterday I went out to the snow. On the way up I got nausious (was litterally green lol) and tried to not vomit (my worst fear). Frolicked in the snow with my girls (will post video on youtube... hilarious). On the way down from our snow romp, I puked and let me tell you puking out premier protien and pink lemonade... no fun. I was so nausious it came out in curds. GROSS. I know.

After I puked my head off, I wanted to EAT. lol I was so hungry and all I could drink was my premier protien drink. We all went to BJ's for dinner and it was torture but again I stuck to my preop diet. I wanted to try the new ahi salad but I couldn't, I just couldn't cheat with less than 5 days to go. So I ordered water with lemon and an extra cup for my shake. Woo Hoo

So today going out to "family night" at my aunts. My close family go to my aunts house and play games and eat dinner. There having speggeti and my mom was in charge of making a meat marinara sauce. My aunts making alfredo. My cousin who was sleeved on Feb. 17 has lost 45 pounds so far. YAY. I'm very proad of her. She looks great. Makes me look even more forward to my surgery.

So there it is. Still throwing around ideas for "Eve of the Sleeve" vlog. Probably work on it tonight. What I'm feeling now: Anxious, prepared, confident, excited with a small pinch of hesitant. Why hesitant you ask? I guess becuase I've been overweight my WHOLE life and its going to be tough trying to reprogram my mind from "eat whatever you want, as much as you want" to "Eat and sip slowly, protien first, small portions, MODERATION." Its scary to me but I know I NEED to do this. I need to prepare myself for the ride of my life.

Everyone Take Care
Kristen

Maria Camilo got "the final countdown" song stuck in my head. lol

But I think its a perfect song in this situation. I posted a new vlog on my pre-op liquid diet and vitamin regimen. I have 6 more days till my surgery and I'm the first one up on the 24th.

Liquid diet has drained me a bit even though I've been taking my vitamin's. I feel less energetic. And I've been cold lately. lol. I doubt its weather related. The pounds have been flying off. I don't want to reveal my weight until the day of surgery. My pants have been fitting comfortable, not digging into me and my blouses a bit looser.

Its just CRAZY all the support I've been getting lately from friends and family. I'm just TRULY thankful for everything and it makes me want to stick it out and do the best that I can. My mom has been my enabler my WHOLE life and she's the only one giving me a hard time. Like just five minutes ago she calls me and asks me if I want a shrimp cocktail at my favorite place and I was like, "What part of 'I'm on a liquid diet' don't you understand." lol

Throughout my whole life she's always been like that. "Want another serving?" "You can jump back on your diet on Monday." "You deserve it." "You can burn it off at the gym." ect... Its hard enough fighting my head hunger but then having my mom telling me "its ok," thats the hardest part. I guess I NEED to be the ster one with her and just say "NO!" or "HELL NO!" which ever one gets the point across. lol

What's been helping me through my liquid diet...

The Food Network. LOL

Who knew. I have been watching the food network nonstop and I'm not hungry at all. It actually calms me down. I've been writing down lowcarb recipes that I want to try when I can start eating again. I love cooking and eating. lol My sisters think I'm crazy but it truly does numb my cravings for food. lol

Not too much else to report. Just counting the days.

Take Care
Kristen

Had my pre surgical visit today and weighed in. I didn't want to because I've gained weight since my consult (which was 295) and am at my consult weight. Well... I weighed in and was 299. WTF!!!! My scale at home says I'm at 295????  So my surgeon coordinator was upset and made me feel HORRIBLE. I know she was doing it for the better of me, she's tough and I knew it was coming but I just don't understand where those 4 pounds came from.  Last time I weighed in at home and the scales were in sync.

Anyways... she kept saying how this may push back my surgery because I was supposed to lose weight. I felt like telling her how I've BEEN on my diet since last Monday. I wanted to tell her that my scale at home said I was right at consult weight and 7 pounds down but I didn't want her to say the scale there was right and so on. So I just took it. I let her rip into me.

Once I was thoroughly scolded, things cooled down and we went over my vitamins and what I've been drinking as for my diet. My problems with the shakes and so on. She was pretty happy with hearing what I've been doing and giving me tips here and there. Then we went over whats happening after the surgery, diet wise and what to expect. The rest of the visit was good and as I left she brought up the weight gain and told me that she was going to go over it with the surgeon and let him know. That he probably won't push the surgery back but to just be deligent on my diet.

After, I went to the hospital and pre-registered for surgery. It was quick. They took my blood pressure and blood and told me everything that was going to happen. They were extremely kind and thorough. I even met my surgical nurse. She was awesome and since they do alot of WLS she went through Sleeve recoveries and told me how many ounces I need to drink and hour, how many times I'll be getting up and walking, EVERYTHING. Its was awesome. I asked her about the drains and she said they don't typically have to give there patients drains since there basically, kick ass center of excellence.

Leaving the hospital I felt a million times better. I felt like the hospital had my back. I felt empowered and educated and ready to kick some butt on the losers bench. I really needed that after I was chewed out by my surgeons office.

I'm just going to keep up my liquid diet and today I'm going to go walking (right after I post this. lol). I need to lose some more weight and show them that I am dedicated because I'm sure they don't think I am.

More power to prove them wrong.

Tomorrow I'll make and post my youtube vlog on liquids.

Take Care
Kristen

and yesterday I cracked on my liquid diet. Mom made spanish rice and right as I was cleaning the kitchen and putting away the leftovers I had a spoonful of rice, then another and another... lets just say I had about a cup of that rice. Feeling like a failure I had a huge hunk of brownie. This morning I woke up and felt awful.

I was doing so well and then... BAM I messed up. I have 9 days till my surgery and tomorrow I meet with my surgeon. I PRAY that he won't weigh me since I'm about the same weight I was on my consult. The bright side is I'm 7 pounds down. But I'm just pissed with myself.

I've been thinking about it. I must REALLY need this surgery if I can't even stay on a liquid diet. Seriously. I'm not saying it in a mean way or trying to make myself feel even worse. Its the truth... the plain truth. I need my Sleeve. 

So... with that said. This morning I MEGA cleaned the house and picked myself up. I found a new way to get those shakes down... milk. I add 1/2 cup of 2% milk to those things and it tastes WAY better to the point where I actually am looking forward to drinking them. And I get an added 5 grams of protien.

So 9 days to go.

I am nervous and excited. I got a letter from the surgeons office last week saying I'm scheduled for Gastric Bypass on the 24th, so tomorrow I need to tell them to change that to VSG. My insurance approved VSG only so I know that wont be a problem. I feel like asking my sister (a tattoo artist) to tattoo VSG on my stomach. lol Just in case.

But other than that, I'm trucking along. I'm not as anxious as I was before, I'm just calmly waiting for my date. I told myself to just stay on track... stay on liquid diet and soon I'll be Sleeved.

Thinking tomorrow after my surgeon visit I'll make my liquid preop diet vlog.

Everyone Take Care
Kristen

4th day on my liquid diet and I've lost 4 pounds. Yay!!!! Its all coming off from here on out. I'm just so excited. Less than 14 days. My surgerie's at 7:30 in the morning, I'm the first one up. I couldn't have asked for a better time. I'm just so excited and happy. All this work, worrying and planning ahead paid off.

I thought the insurance were going to be jerks but I got approved. I just got a letter today saying my coverage ends by May 1st, so I have a whole 4 1/2 weeks after my surgery of coverage. Which is good. I can deal with that. I'll just have to be extra careful, don't want any leaks. I'm not too freaked out about that. My surgical center in a Center of Excellence. All three surgeons are awesome and have a 0.03% leak rate combined.

I guess its the mental aspect of "head hunger" that scares me. I fight with it every day, every hour it seems. I know once all is said and done and I see a chulupa commercial on MTV I'll just start bawling.

I think what REALLY scares me is: I've been overweight my whole life. I've never identified myself as normal. Always shopped in a plus size section. Never have been a size 14 or lower... ever. How do I do that? How do I get comfortable with the new me? What if I hit goal and am still not satisfied?

I'm trying not to think too much about it but it scares me. I'm not going to lie to myself. I need to really take all the emotional motions and learn from them, use them when I can. I know its going to be such a mental, mind flip and I'm going to see through it. I have my family and friends and my OH family too.

Everyone Take Care
Kristen

and day 3 of my liquid diet. So far everythings going pretty well. I love my popsicles and unsweetened applesauce. Trying to love my protein shakes. Been using all of your advice of making them... yummy (a bit of a strong word), but this morning I tried a vanilla with instant coffee and ice, it was alot better. I guess I need to think out of the box when it comes to these things.I also ordered some injury protein powder to add to broth and other stuff so I don't always have to depend on those shakes.  All in all I'm doing pretty well.

Today is Ash wednesday. After mass everyones going to eat at my grandma's house. I'm going armed with a shake and applesauce. A little freaked but I'll keep my eye on the prize... Surgeries in less than 15 days.

Wow.

I remember when I first started this journey about 8 months ago. I was scared and lost and angry with myself for failing (yet again) another diet. My eating disorder was kicking my ass and all I wanted was SOMETHING to help me. To SAVE me.

So my anti-WLS ass went online, peeking over my shoulder in case someone was watching (lol) and looked up "the band" (not wanting gastric because of thyroid issues in my family). I wasn't satisfied with what I saw. I had gone to a seminar 3 months before and wasn't sold, but here I was DESPERATE for help. I played around with the idea for a couple of weeks not saying anything and slowly and unwillingly doing more research... Then, I was downstairs on the labtop in October, silently researching "the band" and was looking at revisions and saw: VSG. I said out loud (without knowing my sis was there) "what the hell is VSG?"

My sister absent mindedly says, "oh yeah... it was on nightline, its a new WLS that takes out your stomach." (Lol) With that response we both went to youtube and found the clip. Once I saw it... it was like love at first sight.

No rerouting
No grehlin
No dumnping
No fills

I was sold!!!! I made it pubic to my family and friends and started my vlogs. Hell or high water, I was getting Sleeved.

And now here I am... just 15 days away from my surgery, from my new life.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you... whoever's up there in the sky. Thank you for this opportunity.

Everyone Take Care
Kristen